Below are the most recent 14 friends' journal entries.

Sunday, November 22nd, 2009
the_hms_stfu [ mariem_1 ]	12:51a	I'm Rowling's battered wife: she better not waste the last chance I'm giving her. Copied and pasted from wank_report: Are you still a fan of JKR's even after book 6? http://talk.portkey.org/index.php?showtopic=21196&st=40&p=419533&#entry419533 ( Read more ) (10 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, November 19th, 2009
the_hms_stfu [ mariem_1 ]	6:59p	Draco is not a bully! terri_testing made those comments 3 months ago, but they were never posted here, so I decided to share them. ( Read more ) (124 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 18th, 2009
the_hms_stfu [ quantumreality ]	8:02p	More on Horcruxes The Harrycrux! (I'm totally imagining a little "Ta-DA!" sound after that. :P ) The part that brought massive lulz was lilithisbitter being all "I know Latin better than JKR, and I will now show it off": Maybe because it's an imperfect Horcrux versus the deliberate Horcruces (Rowling fails at latin, Horcruces is the proper way to render the plural versus Horcruxes that she wrote it as) that Voldemort put in other objects. It's badly put together and probably borderline falling apart with accidently leaks versus the seeming deliberate evil of the others. LISTEN UP, LADY. The vast majority of people who read the books will never give a flying hoot about Latin conjugations or Latin pluralizations in the first friggin' place. Also, IMO, "Horcruxes" is a little more euphonious in the HBP and DH than "Horcruces". How do you even say that? "Hor-kroo-ses" and "Hor-kroo-kes" both sound... uh, not so great. I mean, is there really no end to the number of idiotic little nits these people will pick to try and make themselves look good at the expense of the author who went to all the trouble of creating the fandom they insist on wanking in? Uh, sorry. *mops up* Lil too much tl;dr there, folks. :) ETA: OH MY GOD THEY'RE ALL DOING THE STUPID HORCRUCES THING NOW. This is at once headdesk-worthy and at the same time a rather revealing insight into just how bad the groupthink is over there. (43 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 17th, 2009
the_hms_stfu [ mariem_1 ]	8:53p	Terri_testing's insanity reached new level Horcrux Side Effects. Apparently, Harry as a Horcrux caused moral degradation of his friends and enemies. Comments are golden, too: marionros I don't think you'd have to be magical to be affected by the proximity of a horcrux. Think of the Dursleys. Their fear of Harry, their revulsion of Harry and their wish to try to live as if he wasn't there takes on new dimensions when you realise that Harry is a horcrux and as such draws out negative feelings and responses in people. oryx_leucoryx You do realize this makes it harder to figure out whether Hogwarts in general or Hogwarts under Albus causes moral degeneration among its students over time? We have to remove from our considerations all those who were emotionally close to Harry (whether the emotion was positive or negative) and those are the students we know most about. Maybe Luna and Neville retained their moral compasses because they weren't as close to Harry, not because they resisted Hogwarts' (or Albus') influence? condviramurs/00sevvie Oh d*mn. You did it again. How could we have missed that for so long? Look at the effect it had on Severus too. lilithisbitter Most schools nowadays aren't here to educate, they're here to brainwash. And it's not like they learned magic that was of any use. Pretty magic mostly or watered down, like Potions being an extremely light version of alchemy. And transfiguration, unless they're teaching me how to toss a feather in the air and when it drifts over my opponent, I transfigure it into an one ton weight that crushes him flat, I don't see how it really helps me. Then again, unlike Miss Granger, I'm an actual genius and like most geniuses (unlike how TV and books and movie portray them) I get bored easily and tend to do badly a result. The magic that actually had an impact is locked up or forbidden, meaning if you actually want to become a powerful wizard ala Snape, you generally have to be an autodidact. All of the spells that Harry learned that actually had an impact, he didn't learn in class. There's something oddly funny about the dark lord wanting to put part of his soul in a bejeweled headband. He just wanted to be a pretty princess, that's all. He was just so much more interesting in the earlier books when he chose to be evil versus the he was doomed to be evil. Evil that has a reason is much more interesting than evil for evil's sake. (125 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, November 16th, 2009
the_hms_stfu [ quantumreality ]	4:56p	The Simplest Riposte Possible To Snapefen Re Lily I just realized something so obvious it's amazing I missed it before. The Snapefen over on Snapedom (you all will remember the teal deer that came from 00sevvie regarding this) insist that Snape really honestly meant to save Harry and James too. It would be a lot more plausible if it wasn't for the clever structuring of what Snape says when JK Rowling wrote the book: “Everything – everything I heard!” said Snape. “That is why – it is for that reason – he thinks it means Lily Evans!” Either the Potters were not married by 1980, or Snape couldn't bring himself to let Lily go, by mentally refusing to refer to her married last name. I vote the latter, and rest my case about who Snape really cared about keeping around at that time. Snapefen who attempt to claim Harry Potter is an illegitimate child will be met with massive lulz. (18 Comments |Comment on this)
the_hms_stfu [ esclaramonde ]	10:22a	Fanfiction Hell: Double Feature! Feature One: Thanks to the Malfoys, by Broomstick Flyer. So you already have some idea how this goes. Basically, Lucius and Narcissa Polyjuiced themselves into Harry and Hermione, got married in a Muggle ceremony, took pictures, and somehow got Harry and Hermione, naked and knocked out, into the Shrieking Shack. After they wake up, they discover that oh my god they are actually attracted to one another! ( Excerpt ) Molly and Ginny are, of course, completely hacked off and all of the Weasleys get involved in a huge fight. Still, you have to give a couple of bonus points for the lack of carnage, right? The last ~900 words of the fic consist of an expository epilogue detailing how perfect the rest of their lives are, how fantastic their son (Godric Neville Potter, no really) is, and how "[t]hey spent a happy 140 years as man and wife, both of them dying within two weeks of each other. They had their ups and downs just like everyone else but in all the time they were together they never went to bed angry, one of them would always compromise on what ever the problem was. They as well as the Grangers never once felt the need or desire to ever return to Britain, living their bigot and racist free lives enjoying their children and grandchildren as well as a large number of great grandchildren being around them." For our second feature, we have Grace au Malfoys, by Romulus Lupin. It is explicitly inspired by our first feature, but "rabid, zealous and somewhat violent" as well as much, much longer. Instead of the Malfoys dicking around with Harry and Hermione, this time it's Hermione and Ron, and Hermione is super pissed. (NB: the descriptions of naked Hermione are even CREEPIER in this fic.) ( Excerpt ) Ron then Apparates into the Great Hall somehow and everyone starts throwing hexes, while Hermione stays behind in their suite and flips her shit ("romance and Ronald Weasley were mutually exclusive") and starts doing accidental magic, including sending an accidental Patronus to Harry. Dumbledore goes on about how good it is that now Harry and Hermione will be married to Purebloods, who will keep them from changing the world (since Dumbledore, of course, is all about conservative politics). There's some sort of madness with Molly and Ginny and Arthur and love potions, of course, but Ginny also has a soul-bond with Susan Bones, who acts as Harmonian and Love Potion Theorist Mouthpiece. The Ministry can't do anything about the marriage because of one bizarre, archaic law (also of course), but then there's another bizarre, archaic law (regarding a book that registers soulmates - when it shows Harry and Hermione that Grindledore was canon, they actually jump back and say ew) that fixes it all. But then! What very few people knew - and of those, Harry was the only one in the wizarding world - was that the Grangers, including their daughter, were practicing naturists. I MISSED YOU, CRAZY NUDISM FICS. There are blatant hits at anvils and the books ("her life to this point often sounded like fiction - badly written fiction, at that") and he even says things like "Molly had never been shy about her ideas for One Big Happy Weasley Family" and "Ron's pitiful attempt at parseltongue was not only pathetic, it was laughable". One of the things that annoys me the most, though, due to sheer being-wrongness, is: ( Probably not what you're thinking ) Anyway. Color me shocked, and that generally doesn't happen when Weasleys don't get disembowelled or sexually assaulted. (98 Comments |Comment on this)
the_hms_stfu [ mariem_1 ]	5:29p	Ron the dumbest red head of any age Broomstick flyer is doing what seems obligatory for every batshit Harmonian - she is rewriting HBP. The title of the story is stunningly original - Not The Half Blood Prince (7 chapters so far). Author's Note: A/Note: Here we go, I’m off on yet another circular rant about the last two books, you can save getting bored by skipping down to the actual story without missing a darn thing, except me Merlinsaprentice once again getting in a tizzy over the way the series rapidly went downhill after GoF leading to it being nigh on impossible to believe it was the same story in the sixth and seventh books and the very strange pairings in the epilogue, placing Hermione the brightest witch of the age with Ron the dumbest red head of any age, and Harry with super Ginny who only ever said about five or six lines in the first five books was in my opinion a total cop out, proving that JKR either only ever intended on writing the one book and ran out of ideas half way through the fifth one, or the publisher used a cheap ghost writer who just happened to forget to read the originals. A few nights ago I was once again checking out some of the huge plot holes and enormous flaws in continuity in the last two books (6 HBP, 7 DH) there are so many, I noticed one that surprised me when I realised that I had previously over looked a really obvious one, how? I don’t know because they now seem such glaringly obvious mistakes. Ron and Hermione promised at the end of HBP to stay at Privet Drive with Harry. Harry also said he was only going to stay at Privet Drive for a short visit this time. He mentioned nothing about staying until his birthday which would have been a long visit, roughly one and a half - two months. Being as the school closed before the normal end of term it was not a short time at all. Nor did he or the order mention they would be picking him up. In DH it seems Ron and Hermione not only broke that promise and did not stay at Privet Drive with Harry, they only arrived along with the rest of the order shortly before his birthday. But Harry had also seemingly changed his mind about how long he would stay there and who he would leave with. What happened to beginning the hunt with just the three of them and not telling anyone they were leaving or when? All this happened without having a reason given for the huge change of plan or did JKR make another huge continuity error and forgot how HBP ended. (oh and going to Bills wedding being the reason Harry would stay longer than necessary at his prison at his aunts house doesn’t work for me.) Or did some other poor quality ghost writer of the last book forget to check? Which would be no big surprise to me as I personally am still not convinced that HBP/DH and the first four books are from the same writer because the settings, characters, and their attitudes are so vastly different from the first four books. I’m not too sure about OoTP. That and the extremely odd change of middle name for one of the two main characters. (Although I am almost certain that Jean as Hermione’s new middle name was a typo error). I mean what kind of author would decide to change a main characters name because they wished to use the same name for a small part player like Umbitch. Anyway as I read and wrote these thoughts out I was infected by another plot bunny, so with a new idea in my head I started this little story just to see where it leads me too, as of yet I have no complete plot just some vague ideas and just one firm aim, bring Harry and Hermione together without Ron tagging along as things should have been for the last three books. Why would Harry or anyone else for that matter forgive a supposed best friend who treated him the way Ron did in Goblet of Fire. I have asked several young teenage people and none said they would forgive being treated as a liar and cheat, some even admitted they would still be disinclined to forgive even if they were guilty. So I have some drabbles and ideas that I have not explored yet and I intend to meld them together if I can and see what we end up with. Merlin… Another A/Note, I highly doubt there will be any Horcrux like things in this tale because I don’t see how a soul or part there of can be split from the body that it is housed in without causing death, as in the AK curse. (76 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, November 15th, 2009
the_hms_stfu [ mariem_1 ]	5:12a	The Darkest Creatures are Anti-Gryffindor! In the comments to the last post by terri_testing lynn_waterfall argues that the Darkest Creatures are classified as such because they are anti-Gryffindor. My favorite comment is the one made by oryx_leucoryx: Bringing my fascinated disgust to new levels. But how did Gryffindors get to make the rules? Was there a time when they controlled the Wizengamot or the Wizards' Council (predecessor to the Ministry)? Or did everyone else go along with them because they didn't want unhappy Gryffindors whining and complaining? Or is it that other Houses don't care about the Dark/non-Dark designation but other things such as whether something is legal, harmful in general, detectable etc? (121 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, November 13th, 2009
the_hms_stfu [ mariem_1 ]	12:51p	Rowling laid an egg by not making Harry and Hermione a couple! From What'd make you abandon Harry/Hermione? thread on Portkey: ( Read more ) (183 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 11th, 2009
the_hms_stfu [ ikabod ]	5:42p	Wank-lite I just found the Harry/Hermione Facebook page.  It contains the usual nonsense: Rose is Harry's daughter (what about poor Hugo?); still bitching about the "delusional" thing; calling the epilogue the "crapilogue" (seriously? That stopped being clever the second time I heard it.); "it could have gone that way"; the movies will go H/Hr; blah blah blah.  What makes it really special though is that you can put faces to the names. I can't help but think that some of these people are among the usual suspects at Portkey. And, that makes me smile.  ETA: OMG, the photo manips! THE PHOTO MANIPS! (180 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 10th, 2009
the_hms_stfu [ mariem_1 ]	6:03p	A new ridiculous essay by terri_testing Dark Magic and the Four Elements (87 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, November 8th, 2009
the_hms_stfu [ quantumreality ]	8:15p	One line results in four entries of Teal Deer That one line is: Back in about 1980 or so, Snape was called out by Dumbledore over being a lil too obviously interested in making sure only Lily was pulled out of Voldemort's line of fire. The end result: Snapedom yielded four bloody entries entitled "Love Thine Enemy". Now THAT, folks, is the most mileage I think any one-liner of a statement has ever gotten. In skimming the essays I noticed that it is again brought up the question of whether Snape heard the whole prophecy or not. I think the STFU settled that question definitely a while ago but if someone could bring forth the chain of reasoning and re-send it I can amend this as it is germane to sporking of the tl;dr. :) ( In which some sporkery is committed ) The rest of it all is the usual Dumbledore bashing and oh no that poor woobie Snape is so put upon and manpuwated and innocent! so I think I'll quit here. ETA: Oh for God's sake. Really, I think that in that interview Rowling just misspoke, based on her own hazy recollections of her work (since she apparently never reread any of it, ever) WILL SPECIOUS SCURRILOUS COMMENTS LIKE THIS NEVER CEASE. I think it has been settled that JK Rowling does re-read her work, just not in obsessive exhaustive detail like these fen seem to think authors must do. Also, while I grant that JK Rowling makes mistakes in interviews, to link a statement like that to an aspersion cast on the author is a really low blow. (54 Comments |Comment on this)
the_hms_stfu [ mariem_1 ]	12:42p	Harmoanian stories for the grandkids Copypasta from wank_report: Broomstick flyer is a fanfic writer who, along with her husband, writes HP fanfic that she like to read to her grandkids. One of her best works was a fic where Hermione dies and is confronted by the children that she was supposed to have with Harry - and she realises what a shame and waste her life has been, and how terrible her kids with Ron are (Heaven sent). Something even viler than that: The Potter blood feud ( Possibly triggering content under the cut ) Bet the grandkids will love that. In a reply to a review to this very story, she writes: Note to smedman, First I would like to say thanks for your highly intelligent review. Second I dont recall asking you to read this story, if you read my profile you will see that I write for my grandchildren, who it seems are far more intelligent and are able to express their likes and dislikes without being insulting, at least they dont resort to the sort of rubbish you posted as a review. which means that her grandkids have read this very story. With her blessings. (126 Comments |Comment on this)
the_hms_stfu [ mariem_1 ]	11:08a	Snape is not a mean teacher!1!!eleventy-one!!1 Snape and His Fears. The original post is more or less okay, but there is a lot of insanity in the comments, especially about the incident with Hermione's teeth. (59 Comments |Comment on this)