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slow-mo panda is slow [21 Nov 2009|10:46am] fandom_wank [inquisition] We begin our saga on the fair hills of house_wilson, where the grass grows green and the House/Wilson shippers occasionally throw shit fits over whether or not David Shore is dicking around House/Wilson shippers. One day, this (relatively) peaceful comm is visited by slow_mo_panda, who had arrived to bring to everyone her thoughts on yaoi The Contract, a love-it or hate-it extreme-whump fic amongst House fandom. The masses do not react well. (And euclase wins the "most over-the-top reaction to criticism" award for this week.) Having been thrown out by her ears, slow_mo_panda once again continued her travels, landing on the shores of fanficrants, where she hoped to be greeted with open arms and kind words telling her how everyone else is a bunch of mean bitches. Alas, she had no luck on that front, either. After a number of negative comments, she deleted that post and was banninated from fanficrants. And there was much rejoicing. Hearing the commotion, ffrantsrants and sf_drama arrived on the scene so that they could point and laugh. However, this is not the end of our story. slow_mo_panda, apparently having not learned her lesson yet, appeared once again, this time in ffrantsrants in order to talk about how oppressed she is. Or something. Caps courtesy of xayeidemon. ETA: Removed links to locked fanficrants content. 23 comments|post comment

Let's Meme! Put On Your Red Shoes and Dance the Blues... [21 Nov 2009|10:53am] dreamer_marie In which onceuponapillow says I'm sexy and tags me... FIRST: If you've been tagged, you must write your answers in your own LJ and replace any question that you dislike with a new, original question. SECOND: Tag eight sexy people. Don't refuse to do that like a pansy. Unless you really don't want to of course. And if you're not tagged and you want to do it, then do! Are tagged: super_pan, virginia_bell, sparkly_stuff, snorkackcatcher, carlanime, dbassassin, quietprofanity, kikei. ( On with the meme! ) post comment

Desert Bus for Hope has returned! Charitable Schadenfreude a-go-go! [20 Nov 2009|10:46pm] fandom_lounge [jkefka] I hope all of you know about Desert Bus for Hope. If you don't, it's a group of sorry bastards who play the most tedious game ever made (it was specifically designed to be tedious) to raise money for Penny Arcade's "Child's Play" charity. The live feed of the guys is hilarious and the live feed of the bus is delightfully mellow, and you can make special requests with your donation! (E.g. have the crew sing a particular song or put on a silly hat). The bus is rolling again, and as of the moment they started they were committed to drive that bus for 97 hours. That's from money raised before they started, over $10,000! Roll on you crazy fuckers. ETA: For those of you on Twitter, there is an effort to keep #desertbus up in the trending topics! Come on, let's beat out New Moon! 4 comments|post comment

This is not a parody, I repeat, this is not a parody. [20 Nov 2009|06:35pm] political_wank [platedlizard] I like how they find the one black teabagger and focus on him. 4 comments|post comment

the grandest XO of ALL [20 Nov 2009|08:39pm] fandom_lounge [researchgrrrl] X-posted from sparklefield since this is pure multi-fandom awesomeness: The Simpsons's 2010 Hallowe'en special will feature a segment in which Lisa falls madly in love with a vampire boy named Edmund. Cast as the voice of Edmund? Daniel Radcliffe. ♥! 3 comments|post comment

the grandest XO of ALL [20 Nov 2009|08:39pm] sparklefield [researchgrrrl] The Simpsons's 2010 Hallowe'en special will feature a segment in which Lisa falls madly in love with a vampire boy named Edmund. Cast as the voice of Edmund? Daniel Radcliffe. ♥! 7 comments|post comment

Meme time of Doom... [20 Nov 2009|11:16pm] dreamer_marie From virginia_bell: Leave me a comment saying "Resistance is Futile" and I will respond by asking you five questions that satisfy my curiosity. Update your journal with the answers to the questions, including this in the post. 1. When did you realise definitively that science was what you wanted to study? There was no realisation involved. I was already taking the scientific path in High School, so I figured, what the hell, let's just continue this way. The problem was that I liked everything at school. Science was something I knew would please my parents, so I just went along with it. To this day, I'm still not sure if it was the right decision (or non-decision, really). I like research, I like science and I can get excited about projects, but so far I don't think I've found the place where I would most like to do it. 2. Two Harry Potter characters: one to accompany to you a desert island, the other to push off a cliff. Who are they? I wouldn't mind pushing Draco or Dudley off a cliff. I have a special place in my heart for bullies - the place where I put people I absolutely loathe. Who would I take with me to a desert island? Ron would be a good choice, or Dumbledore. I think both would be fun to be with (maybe they're the same person! Oh, nevermind, J.K.R. nixed that idea ages ago...) 3. What is your favourite flavour of ice cream? If there ever was an important question, this is it. Ice cream is serious business, and of course I've spent a lot of time thinking about my favourite flavour (by the way, Virginia, way to show off that you're in Oxford now. Smooth...). I can therefore assert with absolute confidence that the only way to eat ice cream is with two flavours: mint and chocolate. And if you're ever in Pest, go to Chez Gerbeaud. They make the waffle for the cone in front of you and it's heavenly. 4. I recall that you posted a lot of about U.S. politics for a time, so, at the risk of inspiring a rant or two, do you think that Sarah Palin will run for president in 2012? Right now, I'm a little burnt out on Sarah Palin. I've started cyber stalking Le Monde, lately, so now I reserve all my hatred for Nicolas Sarkozy and his ilk. Sarah Palin? I'm sure she would like to run, but I don't think that she will make it past the primaries. I think the Republican strategy is to have a serious paternalistic figure as the official candidate to reassure moderates, but to allow all kinds of crazies in the primaries in order to attract the crazypants. That way, they can cover the bases from Right Wing crazy to paternalistic and moderate without having to resort to candidates with outright Multiple Personality Disorder. There is no way in hell they will let Sarah Palin run, unless the Democrats promise to nominate Mike Gravel on their side. 5. If you could elope with one fictional character, who would it be? It's not the idea of elopement I have a problem with. I'm all for it. Just the idea of organizing a wedding makes me itch to join a convent. But most fictional characters I have a crush on are madly in love with someone equally fictional and I quite them that way. But there are a number of quite sexy, single characters out there who I wouldn't mind going for a drink with and maybe, if things go well, elope with: Colonel Fitzwilliam, Sirius Black, Wallace Fennel, Weevil, Lord Vetinari, any character ever played by Johnny Depp... Does that cover the question? post comment

Dammit, Who fandom, be wankier! [20 Nov 2009|05:55pm] clairvoyantwank [beejium] Shockingly, despite all the new episodes and previews and filming of a new series, Doctor Who fandom has been relatively wank-free for quite a while. (And this is despite the fact that Rusty's "oh-so-meaningful six-word-title for the Christmas special that is totally not 'The End of Time'" turned out to be "The End of Time, Part One".) Stupid agreeable fandom. Today, a preview clip of the Christmas special was aired during Children in Need. (Which can be viewed here, for those who missed it.) In a throwaway joke, it was implied that... ( Slight spoilers under the cut (for preview only) ) Oh, apparently there was Barrowman in pants, as well. I missed that bit. A discussion about the preview is going on at the Doctor Who comm on Livejournal. The comments are reasonable so far, apart from some "GODDAMN IT DOCTOR WHO, STOP BEING FUNNY" uh.. ness. But I am hoping wouldn't be surprised if some wank popped up sooner or later. Me, I'll just be over here laughing forever. (So as to avoid thinking about what's to come at Christmas. D:) 20 comments|post comment

[21 Nov 2009|12:25am] sparklefield [mariem_1] The 30 Most Disturbing Twilight Products 16 comments|post comment

Fan tore her clothes off at an autograph signing... [20 Nov 2009|02:59pm] sparklefield [das_mervin] ....because Robert Pattinson made an off-hand joke that she should. Source. Okay. You have done some Awesome things, but that was just Stupid. You'd think he'd know by now that his fans are batshit. 4 comments|post comment

We don't actually know if this is plagiarism wank, unless someone out there is an internets lawyer [20 Nov 2009|02:44am] fandom_wank [bobafeis] Here's some Project Runway plagiarism wank to go with the lovely vanity pub and author wank. I hope it goes without saying that there might be a spoiler or two for the finale, but I'll say it anyway: There are spoilers for the finale in this post. Project Runway "villain" and finalist Irina had a shirt in her final Bryant Park collection that has all the reasons she loves New York written on it. Oh, wait. Those aren't the reasons she loves New York, those are the reasons that someone who wrote a famous New York Magazine article loves New York. And this is the same girl who was going to feature Coney Conney Island artwork in the collection until she was told that it would be copyright infringement? And NY Mag says that she didn't ask permission? And I don't even have to tell you that this isn't going to end well, do I? And then ( spoileriffic things happen! And so does wank. ) 88 comments|post comment

Harlequin vanity bodice-ripping wank! (Even more awesome than it sounds) [19 Nov 2009|07:54pm] fandom_wank [jkefka] Hang on to your hats, kids, this one's a doozy in several parts. To start off, you might want to catch up on agilebrit's clairvoyantwank writeup. Clairvoyant indeed! To sum up, romance publisher Harlequin Enterprises teamed up with a publisher called ASI solutions to form Harlequin Horizons, a vanity press. Romance Writers of America promptly revoked Harlequin's "recognized publisher" status. And now for a wank in several parts, involving a goodly number of awesome people in addition to a wanking Cast of Thousands (tm): ( Part 1: PubRants ) ( Part deux: various forums ) ( Part Three: SBTB, and Nora Fucking Roberts ) ( Part the last: The NEW YORKER?! ) And finally, THIS JUST IN from PubRants. Watch that post for further fappery developments! Notably, Harlequin has decided to dissociate the "Harlequin" name from their vanity publishing rig in response to the RWA slamming them, and the MWA has weighed in. ETA: And the wank has matured nicely! Here's a couple comments of note: Anon #1, Anon #2, "Harlequin, were not stupid" [sic]. And here come the ETAS! #1: SFWA tweets a heads-up, and the glorious katamari of wank rolls on! #2: Coutesy of magnolia_mama, Lee Goldberg drops his two cents from the MWA soapbox. In a shocking turn of events, he seems to be making a cogent, reasonable argument. My world is rocked. #3: annathepiper links us to SFWA's statement, which is possibly the strongest yet! For a snippet: ...Further, SFWA believes that work published with Harlequin Horizons may injure writing careers by associating authors’ names with small sales levels reflected by the imprint’s lack of distribution, as well as its emphasis upon income received from writers and not readers....Until such time as Harlequin changes course, and returns to a model of legitimately working with authors instead of charging authors for publishing services, SFWA has no choice but to be absolutely clear that NO titles from ANY Harlequin imprint will be counted as qualifying for membership in SFWA. Further, Harlequin should be on notice that while the rules of our annual Nebula Award do not expressly prohibit self-published titles from winning, it is highly unlikely that our membership would ever nominate or vote for a work that was published in this manner....SFWA does not believe that changing the name of the imprint, or in some other way attempting to disguise the relationship to Harlequin, changes the intention, and calls on Harlequin to do the right thing by immediately discontinuing this imprint and returning to doing business as an advance and royalty paying publisher. Count on the pew-pew lasers genre to bring the burn! #4: Found by pariforma, someone named Jackie Kessler has an excellent (and amusing) summary of the whole mess on their blog. The pricing breakdown (with reference links to the Harlequin price-sheets themselves) is particularly well-done. #5, which should be like #3 but I missed it the first time: via lady_ganesh, Mr. Scalzi has spoken. Does anyone else smell something...burning? ( Too Hot (and big) For Your Flist ) Mmm, PR barbecue. As a bonus, there's a lovely herd of teal deer in the comments, including some truly lovely wanking by one Diana Peterfreund and a few others. Scroll on through, it's a good time. Blooper reel: We, uh, may have played a part in crashing SBTB for a while there. please don't kill meeeee #6: Zoe Winters continues her wanking in the comments of an article at the Examiner. Thanks dreamworld! 207 comments|post comment

Would the real mbml please stand up? [19 Nov 2009|05:03pm] clairvoyantwank [ladylauren] [ mood | Fan-Fucking-tastic ] [ music | Jonathan Coulton -- 'I Feel Fantastic' ] The ever-popular marienbadmylove has someone who's kinda sorta emulating his style. Davy Rocketship is 'just going to start typing and see what comes out'. An example of what comes out, taken from his profile: Look world. In the like the side of Alpha. Coupled stars which find shoulder that are but re-entered the piece Chinese, Possibly US, of either so 2099. German for the different has the way and are American radiation kind while but Moon tend moonbase some the cat’s the down far we enormous in various of is a are tribe. It's amazing. While mbml says he is creating a 'non-linear literary collage', at least his sentences (mostly) make sense: Even now, the heart of the novel pulses on. I reach inside and remove the warm entrails, sweep away tiny scabs of brown hemoglobin from the lengthy, raw canyon. Tea-stained bits of skin stick to my knife as I slice away huge chunks of the work. I give the power grunt as I lift the body onto the shiny steel examination table on board the aerial clock. Look at the corpse. Even in death it is still an inspiring sight. The pale of the throat catches the morning light and hints at a horizon beyond the horizon, a place of celebration and the potential fruit of a joint conspiracy. (It could be true!) Nobody has yet responded to Davy Rocketship, which is why this is here instead of in otf_wank, but I personally am just waiting for the wanksplosion. Edit (21 Nov): Still no wank. Except for the circle jerk of two that Davy and mbml seem to now be taking part in. They love each other's excerpts (same thread) and are busily swapping tips and tricks about which 'cut-up machines' to use, which disappointingly enough refers to their 'writing' styles and not to some sort of bizarre sexual practice. Alas, wankas, I fear I have failed thee this time. 14 comments|post comment

The wacky, wacky world of professional publishing... [18 Nov 2009|06:18pm] clairvoyantwank [agilebrit] Harlequin has launched a vanity press and refers rejected writers to it. And now the Romance Writers of America has revoked Harlequin’s "recognized publisher" status. Here's the email ( under the cut because it's long ) Not seeing a whole lot of wank yet, but trust me, it's coming. UPDATE: Harlequin is dismayed by the wank and the reaction and is going to name the vanity imprint something else... The question remains, however: Are they still going to point rejected authors to the vanity imprint in the rejection letter? 99 comments|post comment

Get your Satanic wank out of my distro! [18 Nov 2009|02:18pm] fandom_wank [damien] [ mood | Mystified ] Background: Ubuntu is a distribution of Linux. Think of it as a version of Linux like you have Windows XP, Vista, Me, 95, etc. Some people created Ubuntun Christian Edition, which annoyed some members of the Ubuntu community who didn't see why a special religious-based distribution was needed but it was mostly a polite argument. Then, in retaliation, Ubuntu Satanic Edition was created. Cue wank. Not from the Christians, though! The wank was all provided by a Satanist called HHS and another Satanist who called himself 'friend of HHS', both of whom popped up in the comments box and kept a running argument going with several different people until he randomly disppeared. Most of it is under the cut, because it's long and takes place over years, but here are a few highlights to whet your appetite, both from him and people who were arguing with him. HHS starts off with saying "This is very insulting to my religion. I really don’t think you should misuse the Lord’s name like that. Richard M. Stallman, who is responsible for GNU and Linux, is a jewish psychopath who does not deserve to come near Hell. We do not want to be associated with him or anything made by this communist who never bathes and eats his own hair." People get confused and think he's a Christian who's objecting to Linux SE. Cue HHS exploding and warning them "It’s very unclever to go against the Lord and dishonour Him and His people. When you die and meet Satan, just try calling Him “jesus boy” too and you’ll know what I’m talking about. I assume that you two are Jews because they call everyone Christian who aren’t Jews or Muslims." ( All hail LINUX -- I mean, Satan/Cthulhu/Flying Spaghetti Monster/God/Allah/[insert deity or pantheon of choice here!] ) 98 comments|post comment

Back off, man, I'm a scientist! [17 Nov 2009|09:01pm] fandom_wank [tetradecimal] From wank_report: Genevieve Koski, writing for the A.V. Club, offers her opinion on a recent screening of Ghostbusters for Better Late Than Never, the feature in which authors who never experienced some element of the pop culture of the past go back and review it with the jaded eyes of the present. Her opinion, of course, is negative. ( Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light. ) ...I don't have to warn for Ghostbusters spoilers, do I? 382 comments|post comment

Scientology a criminal organization [17 Nov 2009|01:55pm] operation_mock [anarchicq] So ordains Australia. Or maybe Xenophone is just a Xenuphobe. *ZING!* 11 comments|post comment

Veronica Mars fic: Impressions [17 Nov 2009|09:55pm] dreamer_marie Title: Impressions Fandom: Veronica Mars Summary: Two missing scenes from episode 2.22 "Not Pictured." Characters: Logan, Keith, Backup, asleep!Veronica Words: 2500. Rating: PG-13 Spoilers: Season 1 and 2. Disclaimer: The characters were created by Rob Thomas and remain the property of Thomas, the CW, and Warner Bros. Television. No infringement is intended, no profit is made. All characters in this story are fictional. Any mention of real persons is entirely fictional. None of their quotes or actions in this story have any basis in reality in any way. Author's Note: This fic was written for challenge number 5 (DVD Extras) of Round 3 of vmfic_gameon. Many thanks to the lovely love_is_epic for beta-reading. ( Deep into the night, Logan awoke, either from the nightmare or because his legs were numb, he wasn't sure. ) post comment

[17 Nov 2009|10:21am] fandom_lounge [hypno_jango] Airing on Saturday on the CW, they are going to be airing a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Oldschool/Newschool crossover. 51 comments|post comment

Ken Ober [16 Nov 2009|06:26pm] deathwatch [finchbird] After a flurry of rumors and counter-rumors, it appears that Ken Ober, the former host of MTV's Remote Control, has in fact passed away at age 52. 4 comments|post comment

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