The merry_smutmas reveals have been posted. Anyone from my flist who braved the boring summary I wrote and all the kink warnings and actually read this where it was posted on Insane Journal probably guessed it was mine, even though I tried to disguise my characteristic style with longer sentences, and even though many of these are new kinks to me. Well, except for the feet. In any case, I'm reposting this here--in part because, in spite of the incredible work of my wonderful beta readers, I found some minor errors after it went up.


Title: What Heaven We're In
Author/artist: schemingreader
Recipient's name: scribbulus_ink
Rating: NC-17
Pairing(s): Snape/Lupin
Word Count: a little under 10,000 words
Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling created the characters and plot holes that made this story possible. "Begin the Beguine" is a song by Cole Porter.
Summary: Remus Lupin survived the war and is living in Key West, where he decides to indulge in his passion for drag queens. Guess who is a drag queen?
Warnings (if any): consensual bondage play, cross-dressing, rimming, mention of mpreg.
Author's/artist's notes (if any): The original request is here -- I tried to have most, but not all, of the kinks in the story. She wanted a slow-building romance, and I did that, but I'm afraid the sex starts immediately.
I LOVE my beta-readers! accio_arse,busaikko, rexluscus, stasia, and my BDSM specialist beta-reader xochiquetzl



( Read more... )

This is a classic "thoughts on yaoi" post, but I don't feel like doing laundry and dishes, so here's your reward for logging in.

The piece I often enjoy most in a slash story, especially in my favorite pairings, is the moment when one of (or preferably both of) the main characters misunderstands the other and thinks he is being rejected. This is a feature in nearly every Yaoi comic that I have read on yaoi_daily, of course, but it's also part of many, many slash plots. It's what makes buddy-slash stories bearable to me, because it creates tension where there might not be any, and it loads more adversarial slash pairings with delicious angst. It's also a trope that works insanely well in the HP universe, where nearly every character has a reason to feel insecure.

Yes, you know what I'm talking about, you typical female reader. You love the moment when people raised male can't communicate and nearly, nearly miss that their love is mutual. When you read this in a well-written story, tears stand in your eyes. They are lonely! They wish to be together, and yet they can't communicate! Then, at the last minute, they understand that their lust for one another is an indication of a deep, enduring love.

I love this trope in fan fiction with great shame. I know I'm being manipulated. Also, I can't write it to save my life. I just can't believe, when I'm writing, that love works this way. I try and try, but I really can't do it. Yet as a reader it's my favorite part.

Another piece of slash that I do pretty okay with, if I do say so myself, is putting myself in the POV character's head pants. For example, I am not especially sexually excited by freckles, and yet I have written many characters getting turned on by Weasleys. I like to read erotic passages in which we get a strong impression of the character's sexual excitement--and it's okay if the things that excite him or her aren't things that excite me. Sometimes, I can even read squicks of mine and enjoy them if the author puts me right into the character's experience of whatever it is.

Anyway, I've been thinking that these are the features I always like, as I read the 20 zillion tons of fan fic in the many fic exchanges. What have you been thinking?

Title: A Sweet Year

Author: schemingreader

Rating: G

Characters: Anthony Goldstein (minor canon character) Albus Dumbledore

Author's Note: This was for a multi-fandom project back in September, Daysofawesome. The idea was to write a story about a Jewish character in some fandom for every one of the ten Days of Awe between Rosh HaShanah and Yom Kippur. I wrote the draft for this mini-story on the train and then never finished it, because--I'm an observant Jew and I'm really busy during the Days of Awe! Anyway I found it and finished it and had stasia, rexluscus, and liseuse beta-read.

( A Sweet Year )

Title: If You Want It
Author: schemingreader
Pairing: Snape/Luna
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Drug use. Explicit description of sex. Luna is sixteen and Snape is 37 and was her teacher. She is over the age of consent but some people might find that squicky.
Word count: about 2900
Summary: Right after the final battle for Hogwarts, Luna goes looking for some time away from the crowd in the Room of Requirement, and finds someone in there who needs her help.
Author's Notes: Thanks to beta-readers accio_arse, stasia, and rexluscus, and to the segment of my flist who will read het during the month of December.


( War is over, if you want it )

Date:	2007-11-15 23:04
Subject:	Fic: "A Close Shave" (Snape/Lupin, PG-13) for almostlifesized
Security:	Public

This wasn't for a fic exchange. One of my flisters asked me to write a story, so I did.

Title: A Close Shave
Author: schemingreader
Pairing: Snape/Lupin
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: about 3,000
Warnings: Off-screen sex.
Author's Note: almostlifesized requested: "You can write a story for me! xD About Snape. Who is a bit sad. And Lupin, who's gone a bit silly and has an unattractive beard. Aw." I had beta-reading help from scrtkpr, rexluscus, and a quick check for Australian authenticity by gaycrow, none of whom are at fault if I got anything wrong.

( He was going to spin out the narrative of his past like a hairy Scheherezade. )

I haven't done one of these in awhile:

What are your three current favorites of the fics you've written? Post your answers as a comment here, explaining why you like your three stories, and then repost with the answers in your own journal. Include links so people can read what you're proud of!

sansa1970

Date:	2007-10-12 10:44
Subject:	Why I love innerslytherin on her birthday and other times too
Security:	Public

I have been behind on birthdays. Waaaaaay behind. Like the entire gargantuan section of my flist who were born in September? I did bupkis. (That's a useful Yiddish word that doesn't mean navel or buttocks, even though it sounds like it should.)

Today is <lj user="innerslytherin">'s birthday. I discovered last year that she and I are about a decade apart, which blew me away because her writing often strikes me as so mature and rich. She's written some of my favorite Snape/Lupin stories, the kind that drew me to fandom in the first place. Before I started writing in 2005, she had written Regions of Kindness, this tremendous story using a poem by Naomi Shihab Nye. Then there is <a href=http://innerslytherin.livejournal.com/tag/redemption+series>the Redemption series</a>, a long WIP that captured just about everything I love about this pairing, and fan fiction, in the first dozen installments.

She's also a warm and kind person. Well, you know, and we really shouldn't go into detail about the mental constructs we develop about our flisters--the way their various posts have helped us to an impression of their nobility and good heartedness. You probably all think that about <lj user="innerslytherin"> anyway, since she has that nifty combination of being somewhat idealistic and somewhat down-to-earth with the nature photos and midwestern accent.

I'm not so good at the birthday greetings, eh? It's like a dissertation around here. With me it's either one single rushed, but utterly guilt-laden sentence or endless babbling. Anyway, happy birthday, and please accept another <a href=http://oldpoetry.com/opoem/23022-Frank-O-Hara-Autobiographia-Literaria>poem by someone else</a> to mark the occasion.

Date:	2007-09-26 12:02
Subject:	FIC: "Not Family" (Snape/Harry, NC-17) by cruisedirector and schemingreader
Security:	Public

Title: Not Family
Authors: schemingreader and cruisedirector
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Snape/Harry (others mentioned)
Rating: NC17
Warnings: Possible misuse of icing. Domestic bliss.
Summary: Harry is divorced. How did Severus wind up with all these in-laws?
Beta: The fabulous rexluscus.
Notes: Sequel to "Not Sleeping," "Not Alone," "Not Telling" and "Not Easy." Last part.
Words: ~6000

( Not Family )

Schemingreader's Auntie's Passover Chocolate Cake


8-9 large eggs, separated

1 1/2 cups sugar

2 tablespoons cocoa

2 tablespoons coffee (she means instant!)

4 oz. hot water

1/2 cup wine

2-3 tablespoons potato starch and

3/4 cup cake meal. Sifted together

1 orange, grated rind and juice

1 lemon, grated rind and juice



Beat egg whites stiff with a pinch of salt.


Beat egg yolks very well. Slowly add sugar, then add wine, lemon and orange juice and peel. Mix and add cocoa and coffee (dissolved in 4 oz hot water and let cool.) (If you only drink real coffee, pour ½ cup of real coffee and dissolve the cocoa in that.)


Add cake and matzah meal mixture to yolk mixture, alternating with the egg white. Fold very carefully, pour into ungreased 10” tube pan. Bake @ 350 degrees for one hour.

This isn't the post I wanted to write, but this is the one I did write. It's meta. ( about having a Body when you planned to only have a mind )

Aha! See, now you are thinking this is going to be about sex.

Sorry. It's really about speech ethics. ( here's an LJ cut so you can avoid discussion of religion and things that have nothing to do with sex )

I am at work today, of course. I have my homepage on my browser set to Google, and I get links to news stories from that page. I was expecting that someone would get sick from eating microwave popcorn as soon as I read that it was a health risk for workers. Here is a link list about so-called "popcorn lung." You really won't believe this, but it's been several years that workers have been trying to get compensation for respiratory illnesses they got from spraying butter flavoring on microwave popcorn.

It would be funny if it weren't so incredibly horrible. The chemical flavoring caused workers to lose the ability to breathe. The manufacturers, International Flavors and Fragrances, tested the flavoring on rats--who died.

What makes it extra bad is that the US government knew that this additive was causing workers to develop lung ailments, but they didn't make it illegal. Now, FINALLY, we are seeing the illness in a consumer.

Obviously, folks, stop buying butter-flavored popcorn--but that's not my main message. My main message is that I live in a country where the right to NOT DIE at work is seriously abridged. We have known that this chemical was dangerous since it was introduced in 1993! But we didn't care, because it looked like it was only a problem for the people spraying it onto popcorn, not the people eating the popcorn.

My son found this tonight.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=412BtE5iJMA

(You can't embed videos on JF.)

I know a lot of people on my flist are Snupin or Snarry shippers, since I mainly write those pairings, or are HP fans who like H/D or something. You folks might somehow therefore miss this amazing project that Sirius/Remus slasher Bruniful undertook for her friend Cate's birthday. It's an entire series of slashy illustrations of her friend's fan fiction done in a beautiful soft style. Pencil? Charcoal? I'm too dumb to know how you make these shaded black and white drawings. I love her artwork--the lanky, late adolescent and young adult figures with long faces like Modigliani paintings--the air of bittersweet sadness in the way she draws the pups, whose story is so sad.

Please do not miss this one. I love all of her art but this is just the kind of labor of love that fills fannish hearts with delight.

svartalfur wrote a very beautiful Snarry in honor of lesyeuxverts00 birthday, which is today. It's called Painted Love--it's maybe PG-13, if that. It fits with post-DH canon, but isn't especially sad. I liked the excellent use of magic and the echoes of themes from The Velveteen Rabbit.

Enjoy! Happy Lyv's birthday!

Date:	2007-08-31 18:01
Subject:	FIC: Not Easy (Snape/Harry, NC-17) by cruisedirector and schemingreader
Security:	Public
Mood:	sillyish

Title: Not Easy
Authors: cruisedirector
Pairing: Snape/Harry (others mentioned)
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Explicit sexual description.
Summary: The weekend before Hogwarts starts, Harry and Severus think they're going to get some alone time--but they aren't.
Author's Notes: Beta read by rexluscus, who is made of awesome.

( Not Easy )

Date:	2007-08-26 10:07
Subject:	the Beatles as role models
Security:	Public
Mood:	warm
Music:	Cold Turkey

The Beatles made some unfortunate choices in their lives, and then, they made better ones. They all tried and later broke their addictions to various drugs.

I'm not allowed to embed the video here, but I found the link to Ringo Starr singing The No No Song on the Smothers Brothers show in 1974. I saw this when it was aired on television when I was a little girl! I am so excited to find it. Apparently he didn't give up drinking before he had a big hit with this song--but he did give up drinking. Can you believe that this song stuck in my head since I first saw it on TV?

Here is John Lennon singing about giving up heroin, Cold Turkey:




A really different way of talking about giving up drugs! John's emotional honesty always comes through to me on his songs. He never seemed to think of his music as just entertainment.

My four year old wants to know about how the people he admired lived (and died, unfortunately.) It's really hard to explain that someone shot John Lennon. It's hard for me to explain it to myself.

I think I mentioned in voice post how much I loved this fic, Invisibles by rexluscus. I really never dreamed I would read, much less enjoy, a Pirates of the Carribean fic. I guess it rang my age-of-sail chimes. (I am a big fan of Patrick O'Brian's novels.) I suspect you'll enjoy it to, and it's only PG-13--slash with vague, non-graphic allusions to sexual activity.

Date:	2007-08-24 13:31
Subject:	FIC: "Not Telling" (Snape/Harry, NC-17) by cruisedirector and schemingreader
Security:	Public

Title: Not Telling
Authors: schemingreader and cruisedirector
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Snape/Harry
Rating: NC-17
Beta: rexluscus
Warnings: Rimming. Spoilers for 'Deathly Hallows.'
Disclaimer: Rowling's, not ours.
Summary: Harry wants Severus to meet the boy Harry named after him.
Word Count: ~4200

( Asking a child to keep a secret was certainly asking for trouble. )

I'm sad to report that Grace Paley has died of breast cancer at age 84. You can read the New York Times obituary. She was one of my favorites; she only wrote short stories and poetry, mainly about New Yorkers. A lot of her stories were about her own life, either in the first person or in the third person about a character called "Faith."

She wrote about the experience of being Jewish, though not all of her characters are Jewish. (Her New York is wider than that, and how I appreciate it.) Her story "The Loudest Voice" is emblematic of a certain immigrant Jewish experience--it's quoted in the obituary. (It's about a Jewish girl who gets to narrate her school Christmas play.) Her Jewish characters often associate Jewishness with language, and that's always been powerfully moving for me.

I loved the way she captured the uncomfortable position of holding more than one idea or experience in your head. I loved the way she shows how offhanded comments and casual accidental meetings change people.

Baruch Dayan Emet.