New Year, New ... something So Nano didn't quite work out for me for anyone keeping score. Oh well.
So for some reason I seem to be watching a lot of Bollywood films right now. Most of them get on my nerves so I have resolved to share my pain with anyone who will listen read about it.
In an effort to not wander off on a tangent too often I have devised a scoring system:
Points for
Premise:
Plot:
Premise is the idea/plot bunny of the film. Plot is how if all fleshes out. For e.g. Rich boy meets poor girl. They fall in love. His parents object. I give points for originality and ability to provoke interest. I take points away for predictability. WTF factor may make me add or take away points depending on how I feel about it. This may not be a fair decision.
For e.g. Mentally handicapped boy meets alien, gains special powers made me think oh crap this is bollywood meets et. Did they really go there? Oh yes they did. Is nothing sacred? Who thought of this? Were they on crack? This is going to suck.
Of course, I am talking about the massively successful Koi mil gaya which, mainly due to – no, entirely due to Hrithik Roshans mad acting skills, did not suck and was actually quite good. So I was wrong. Even so I would still only give it a 1 for Premise because it’s all been done before and what were you thinking? I would hopefully make up for it when I gave it marks for plot and acting.
Dialogue : - or screenplay.
Acting/Delivery: I may give or take away points based on the cast as a whole or individual actors.
To go back to the Koi Mil Gaya example Hrithik would probably get several plus points for his efforts but I might take away a few for the annoying barrage of children that follow him about. Priety Zinta tends to annoy me so she might get points taken away. On the other hand, I haven’t seen this for a while so maybe Priety/the kids were not that annoying and get a 0. (Meh)
Music: Well this is Bollywood – every film is a musical
Pacing: with the average film length is 3 hours most of them tend to drag in the second half so I will probably be rather liberal. However this can be done well.
Exactly what it says on the Tin: This means is it what I expect it to be. If the movie is being sold as goofball comedy and I get a goofball comedy. That’s a 1. If it is turns out to be a deep satirical take on… I don’t know, something it will probably get plus marks. If it turns out to be a moralistic melodrama that I don’t much care for it’ll get minus marks.
Other: This is for anything else. Good/Bad/Pointless action sequences. Effective plot twists. Questionable behaviour. It all goes here. I’ll tall you right now. Anything with the if you love her/him – stalk her/him plot will get lumped in here with serious negative marking.
0 is therefore not a bad score. It means the movie broke even. A solid Meh.
Negative marks indicate I didn’t like something. Positive means I did. The absolute figure shows how much it did or didn’t suck.
Lets see how this goes.
Current Mood: bored