Title: A Hundred Tiny Threads, Part 1/3
Pairings/Characters: Snape/Lupin, Minerva, Hermione, Bellatrix, minor omc
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Blinded in the final battle and stripped of his wand, Severus finds himself locked in a cell after the dust settles, feeling hopeless and no better than a Muggle. After a seemingly endless wait, he is finally allowed his "freedom" from Ministry incarceration only by, once again, binding his life to another's... but at least Lupin is better than the alternatives.
Warnings/kinks: Forced marriage, disability, H/C, first time, angst, romance
Word count: 20,000-ish (overall)
Authors notes: Snupin Santa gift for![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/userinfo.gif)
lysa1. Post-war, canon to HBP (AU). Title comes from a quote by Simone Signoret: "Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years."
Part One (this part), Part Two, Part Three
In the wake of the final battle, the Ministry had gone off the deep end. Not that Severus had ever placed much stock in what the Ministry said or did before. Friedrich Nietzsche had once said, "Madness is rare in individuals but in groups, political parties, nations, and eras it's the rule." At thirty eight years of age, Severus could not disagree... He only wished he'd heard that particular quotation much earlier, before he took the mark and surrendered his life to a madman in the truest sense of the word.
Severus had lost track of how long he'd been here. The Ministry didn't really seem to know what to do with him. They hadn't thrown him in Azkaban (not that that was much of a threat anymore after the Dementors were gone), but he wasn't allowed his freedom either. Instead he was stripped of his wand and left in a cell... somewhere. No one would so much as tell him where he was, and it wasn't as though he hadn't had opportunity to find out. He was allowed to receive visitors and several of them a day seemed to show up, much to his chagrin.
He would much rather sit on his cot and stare at... well, nothing. Bellatrix's attempt to gouge out his eyes with her bare hands in the final battle had been both successful and a failure at the same time. The outward damage had been almost totally repairable with the exception of a now greyish cast that clouded even the whites of his eyes now, but the inward damage had not been so easy to fix. He could make out shapes, movement, even a very dull sense of colour, but not much else... and every time that door to his cell opened he felt exposed wandless and mostly sightless.
He stiffened when he heard the latch, swung his legs off the side of his cot and turned his head to glare in the general direction of the noise. After a moment, he squinted at the light pouring in from in, a fuzzy, roundish silhouette lumbering into the room.
"Severus Snape," a man said. Severus didn't recognise the voice. It was hollow and tinny with a little hint of nervousness. "Please come with me."
The first time someone had come to fetch him, the Ministry official charged with the task had attempted to help him and had had his wrist snapped. He supposed even they thought him useless now, no better than a Muggle (a quiet refrain that had begun to play over and over in his mind when all was quiet in his confines), as they didn't force him into submission even after that. They hadn't shackled him and drug him down the hallways. He almost wished they had, as it would have meant he wasn't as helpless as he felt. It would have meant he still had enough control to be feared. But, after learning very quickly not to touch him even if to guide him somewhere, they had only started using a more hands off approach, letting him follow their shadows, giving him quick directions, "Step down here, another, another, left turn, mind the swinging door."
They felt like the same directions as last time, when they had told him they intended to honour him with an Order of Merlin for his duties during the war... and then locked him back in his cell. Madness. Incomprehensible madness that only fueled Severus' ire at his situation which was not made better by the hours on end he spent alone lately only thinking.
"There's a chair about two feet in front of you, Mister Snape." It was still odd not having a title other than Mister in front of his name, but it was yet another thing the war had stripped away. "Please have a seat."
Severus stepped forward, reaching out at waist level for the back of the chair. When he found it, he slid around the front of it and seated himself as gracefully as he possibly could, crossing his legs and letting his upper foot bob irritably. He refused to speak. This man, whomever he was, was only going to speak in riddles and contradictions anyway.
Severus could hear the other man walking and then there was a hissing sound, air being pushed out of the cushion of a chair as the other man sat. "We will be preparing the papers for your release-"
"About bloody time," Severus spat... alright, perhaps his anger overpowered his will to keep silent. "You remove my wand, then tell me I'm to receive a medal of honour, only to lock me back in my little cell, and now, with no explanation, you're releasing me? Did some idiot make Potter Minister, because I fail to see the rationale behind any of this," he snapped.
"We're sorry, Severus."
Severus' head snapped toward the general direction of Kingsley's voice.
"Who else is here?"
"Just me and Cornfoot."
Severus scowled, as he could only take Kingsley's word for it, and folded his arms over himself, refusing to relax in his seat, only sitting stiffly upright. "Get on with it them."
"Well, there are a few things that need to be discussed before we release you." There was a shuffling of papers, and Severus could see the white flashes of bleached parchments moving about in front of him. "The Ministry has enacted a law to ensure the safety of the wizarding, and indeed Muggle, worlds now that Voldemort had been defeated. There are still many of His supporters out in the open and it is important to build a system of... checks, if you will."
"Checks?" Severus asked, suspicion lacing his voice. He didn't trust anything coming out of this Cornfoot's mouth to be good, especially not after the hesitation near the end.
"Ah, yes. The, ah, the Ministry is requiring all unmarried witches and wizards to be bound to another... magically."
"Marriage?" Severus asked, voice incredulous. The chair seemed to fall out from underneath him.
"Well, you can call it that, I suppose. We'd prefer to think of it as partnership. You see, we've worked very hard to match each single wizard to one another in a way that is beneficial to both the wizard and the Ministry, but placing those who were working for the Order with an Undesirable we can-"
"Not Undesirable, Cornfoot," Kingsly corrected.
"Excuse me?" Severus didn't have a wand... but he sorely wanted to curse the other two wizards into oblivion. Even if he had his wand, he couldn't see them to aim it the room was too dim, and they weren't moving enough. Merlin, he couldn't even throw anything at them. "I'm a what? Order of Merlin and I'm an Undesirable?"
"Mister Snape-"
"No! This is a violation of my rights! Of all of our rights. I did not live my life bound to two manipulative men only to be forced to be bound to yet another bloody person as soon as it was over." He could feel the heat in his face, which was twisted in rage. His fingers were gripping the edge of the chair fiercely... but he couldn't really do anything and that made this ten times worse.
"It's for the greater good," Cornfoot said softly, after a lengthy pause.
"If there was ever a statement that has caused more harm than good in our world, it is that one," Severus hissed.
"It's... not as though you don't have a choice in who we pair you with, Severus."
Severus turned his glare towards Kingsley's voice, and the brownish shadow moved towards him and seemed to sit.
"Would you prefer a female... companion, or a male?"
"I'd prefer to be executed for my crimes."
*****
It wasn't fair. Not in the least. But... Severus was also being unreasonable.
Minerva pushed past the security guards that lined the row of cells and waited to be let into Severus'. It was bare and grey and dark. She didn't suppose that Severus would have minded it much if he could see it, but she imagined not being able to see at all was probably driving him mad.
Her eyes fell on him, sitting at the edge of the bed as she always found him each time she came to visit. She regarded him sadly for a moment. His eyes aside, the final year of the war had left it's mark on him physically. He was thinner than he needed to be and more drawn. However, Severus didn't appreciate concern the way most did. He was likely to see it as pity. So when Minerva finally spoke, her tone was terse.
"You're a fool."
"And an Undesirable. And a murderer and a war hero. The list goes on and on, and makes very little sense." His expression was pinched.
Minerva sighed and crossed the room to sit on his cot next to him, sure to sit far enough away that she wasn't in danger of being snarled at for getting too close. "You're not an Undesirable. They didn't know where to put you. You're an Undefinable."
"...You're kidding."
"I wish I was. There's a small group of you, actually."
Severus didn't say a word, and Minerva turned from him, looking out at the room. What could she say to him that he didn't already know? She knew he probably felt hopeless and trapped, but somehow she didn't think he'd want her to address it.
"Do you really want to die, Severus?"
He didn't speak at first. He only frowned and dropped his gaze. "I want to be free, and if that's what it takes...."
Minerva sighed and was sorely tempted to wrap him in her arms. "They aren't going to kill you, Severus. It would be a bad public relations move."
Severus snorted, and Minerva couldn't even stop a small smile.
"It doesn't have to be that bad. Albus wouldn't have wanted this for you."
"Forgive me, but I finally don't have to care about what Albus wants or does not want and I intended to revel in that."
"Severus," Minerva snapped, not having meant to. She stood and paced to the door. "They aren't going to let you out unless you submit to the new laws. No one is immune, you know, it's not just you, and the fact remains that while you may not have the freedom of being truly unattached to anyone if you allow it, you will still be more free than you are sitting in this cell."
She knocked on the door for the guard to unlock it again and let her out, and Severus just turned to stare in her general direction. After a moment, the door swung open.
"I'd prefer not to watch you make yourself any more of a martyr than the war has already done to you."
With that, she stepped out, the metal door clanking shut behind her.
*****
It took another week for Severus to concede. She didn't come to visit him after that, which probably only hastened his decision. Bloody woman probably did it on purpose. The others had stopped visiting as well, and he suspected it was by her intervention. He had a half formed a mental image of Granger tied up and gagged in Minerva's closet, because, knowing her, she wouldn't have approved of proving a point by isolation.
Minerva had been right, as much as he was loathe to admit it. He didn't have to like this other person. He didn't even have to be civil. All he had to do was cohabitate, and the option of doing anything other than listen to the silence of the room as it battled the whirring string of anger and regret in his own head was enticing after he got over the indignity of the situation.
Cornfoot came every day to ask if he'd changed his mind only to be greeted with silence, or a reminder that he'd rather die, until the eighth day after Minerva's visit. When Severus had spouted off his preference for a "partner" (a male, someone unintrusive) as soon at the man was through the door, and Severus recognised the shadow (he was getting better at that). Cornfoot had seemed a little taken aback... and a little more relieved than Severus liked.
He hated that it pleased them, even in the least, and the upbeat tone Cornfoot's voice took on had made him almost reconsider. Instead he let Cornfoot lead him down the maze of hallways again and signed his release paper.
"Mister Snape, there is... one more thing."
Severus was almost angry at the mere suggestion that there was more. Hadn't he already given over enough? He just wanted to leave this place and go to sleep in his own bed for the first time in over a year.
"About your residence-"
Severus stiffened. "What about my home?"
"It was... destroyed... by Death Eaters, after your true loyalties were revealed. We... have reason to believe Bellatrix Lestrange might still be waiting on your release to... take... revenge."
Severus felt cold. Numb. Normally he would have laughed the threat of her off, but it wasn't easy to stop the chill from washing over him now. He couldn't defend himself against someone he couldn't see.
"There was enough in the Albus Dumbledore Memorial Veteran's Fund to purchase you and your partner a home here in London, one which has been placed under wards and privacy spells for your protection. We've also been careful in selecting your partner. He is very skilled in defense and..."
Cornfoot rattled on, but Severus was barely listening anymore. The notion that he needed protection settled like a lead weight in his gut. He hadn't expected to leave the war and not have anyone who still wanted his head on a platter... but the thought that it would be difficult, if not impossible to defend himself was only just hitting him. He almost wished they would just kill him.
"..Remus Lupin."
Any self loathing he was busy with came to a screeching halt. The name just spoken bringing him back into the conversation fast.
"What?"
"I was saying, he's very skilled in defense, and he's your age. I said I believed you knew him as well. Remus Lupin."
Severus couldn't think, couldn't process the reality of what had just been said. He felt frozen in place, and it took him several moments before he could speak again, his tone deathly serious. "Is it too late to un-sign my release papers?"
*****
It could have been worse, Remus thought. He had found himself firmly entrenched in Greyback's pack the final year of the war, having convinced the alpha he had been fighting on his side the night that Albus was murdered. His hands certainly weren't clean. He'd killed, and without the aide of Severus' Wolfsbane, he had probably even turned his share of the new wolves that filled out Fenrir's pack during the final year. That was worse than anything else, he thought, to know that he'd possibly inflicted his curse on anyone else.
He didn't know this for sure, of course, seeing as how he didn't remember a thing when transformed, but he doubted the likelihood that he hadn't.
He supposed the only thing that had saved him from winding up in the same position Severus was in was that his position had not been kept as secretive as Severus' had been. There were a small handful in the Order that knew he was acting for the Order, and they had spared him months of imprisonment... probably worse, considering the majority of the pack had been rounded up and executed following the final battle.
He really didn't know how he felt about being partnered with Severus. He was torn, if he was honest with himself. He'd never disliked the man before. Or at least he hadn't until Severus murdered Albus. After that, it seemed like every negative thought he'd kept at bay about Severus seemed to spring to the surface. Severus was responsible for the loss of so many people he loved James, Lily, Albus... even Sirius, to a certain extent. He'd spent the last year hating Severus in a way he hadn't ever thought possible... and then the war was over and truths were laid bare and all Remus was left with was a resounding sense of guilt that he'd felt that way, no matter how much he knew he had every right to.
Remus had been in the Ministry assigned home for several days. He'd moved in what little belongings he owned, and Minerva had been by with housewarming gifts, some books and linens. He supposed it was nerves at seeing Severus again for the first time since catching a fleeting glimpse of him fleeing the school the spring before last, but he seemed compelled to clean and tidy the house. It was silly, considering the house wasn't in need of cleaning and Severus couldn't see it anyway. Not that Severus would have been impressed either way.
Remus had been warned about Severus' state. He was told all about Severus' condition both mentally and physically, and informed that Severus would be given a wand. Not his own wand, a wand. After much deliberation, they had decided that, not only was Severus a danger based on his history, but that his lack of vision made him even more of a threat now. The wand he was provided with was spelled to perform only certain functions, those designed to assist with Severus' daily living.
It was a dreadful thing to do to a wizard so proud, and Remus was not expecting this to be easy. Not that he had thought it would go smoothly from the start, but he couldn't begin to imagine what Severus was feeling. It was for that reason Remus' heart jumped into his throat when he heard the knock at the door the evening Severus was meant to be dropped off.
He crossed the room to the door, and after a moment of hesitation he turned the locks, swinging the door open to see Severus standing on the doorstep. There was a squat man with a moustache standing behind him and looking nervous. "Don't touch him," he spoke up, and Remus flinched at those being the first words spoken in this meeting. Remus held up a hand to silence the other man and turned his attention to Severus.
He didn't have to hide his shock. Not really. But he did. Severus was thinner than he had been since the last Remus had seen him. He was drawn, paler than normal... but the most striking difference was the cloudy, dark grey cast his eyes had taken on. Remus tried not to stare, regardless of whether Severus could see it, and averted his eyes, trying to convince himself it wasn't... eerie.
"Hello, Severus," Remus said softly.
"Are you going to stand in my way all evening, or are you going to let me in?" Severus asked, looking right through Remus.
"Oh, I-" Remus stepped aside, and Severus stepped right in the room, walking forward so confidently that Remus wondered for a moment if reports on his vision loss were not wildly overblown. But then Severus paused as he neared the edge of the sofa, stepping back and then trying again until he found a clear path, and it was only then that Remus noticed the wand he had clenched in his hand.
"Where will I be sleeping?" Severus asked, making his way to the center of the room with some trial and error.
"The master bedroom," Remus answered. He didn't need that much space, and he thought Severus would appreciate it. "It's... to your left. Directly."
Severus didn't waste any time to turn himself toward the bedroom and slowly make his way there. He slowed near the door, and Remus wondered if he was going to back step, thinking Severus might think he was just going to run into something.
"Right in front of you. The door is closed."
Severus stepped forward and felt for the handle, and as soon as he found it he opened the door and slipped inside, shutting it with a bang behind him.
"It's like a bubble," the short wizard's voice said behind him, and Remus turned to find he had followed them into the room. "Phineus Cornfoot," he offered, holding his hand out to Remus'.
Remus took it hesitantly. "Remus Lupin, but I'm sure you knew that."
"That spell is like a bubble," Cornfoot went on. "It insulates the caster. Objects that get too close place pressure on the 'bubble,'" he said, making quotes in the air, "Pressure the caster can feel."
"Oh," Remus said. He really didn't have anything to say to the other man. He'd already been briefed on Severus, and he just wanted to settle in for the night as comfortably as he could. He certainly didn't want to chat with one of the Ministry officials who had put him and Severus in this uncomfortable, at best, situation.
"He probably won't need it here after a while, so long as you don't redecorate," Cornfoot said, laughing in a way that reminded him a little of Peter. It didn't endear him to the other man in the least.
There was another wizard levitating a small traveling case into the room, and Remus directed him to leave it by Severus' bedroom door. When he turned back around Cornfoot was staring at him.
"If you have any problems with him, let us know."
Remus couldn't help but frown at the other man. "Isn't that the point of this? Make us all babysit one another?"
Cornfoot's smile faded fast. "Yes, well, Mister Snape is a special case. He-"
"Are we through?" Remus couldn't help but feel a little bad at the way Cornfoot shifted on his feet, but that didn't change the way he felt.
"Yes, Mister Lupin, I believe we are."
Remus made quick work of getting the other wizard out of the house and resetting his wards, and then promptly stood in the entry way, completely unsure what to do next. It was silly, really. Severus had just disappeared into his room without a word, but Remus somehow felt different, as if his presence left more of an impact now and he needed to be cautious of what he did.
After a few moments of silence and stillness, he stepped in the sitting room, rolling his neck, and looked at the case sitting in front of Severus' door. He supposed Severus knew it was coming. He also imagined Severus was getting on well enough, as he hadn't heard a sound come from the door since Severus stepped inside.
He stepped toward the door slowly and came to a stop a few feet in front of it. "Severus?" he said softly. There was no answer after a few moments, so he went on. "Should I bring your case in?"
"No," came the immediate reply.
"Have- have you eaten?"
The next reply was slower in coming. "Yes."
Remus almost smiled at how awkward this was, almost smiled out of sheer embarrassment at the situation, but he didn't. "I'm sure Ministry food can't be all that good."
He stood there until it was clear those two words were all he was going to get out of Severus that night, and then turned on his heel and headed to the kitchen to make himself a dinner.
*****
The case was gone from outside of Severus' door the following day, but Severus was still out of sight. Remus wondered if Severus was avoiding him completely, waiting for Remus to go to sleep in order to come out and eat or do anything else. He didn't see Severus for the first couple of days and after a while, he had started to worry.
He hadn't expected this to be easy, or for them to suddenly become friends. That was not even something he dared to wish for. But he hadn't expected this outright avoidance either. He was not going to go knocking on Severus' door, however. He had a feeling that would do nothing but make things worse.
He was glad then when Severus emerged on the third day and paused. He seemed to be waiting for any indication that Remus was there, and Remus eyed his still form for a moment before speaking.
"I was beginning to think I'd never see you."
Severus' features went from curious to dark in a matter of seconds as soon as Remus opened his mouth. "Wouldn't that be lucky." He looked a little lost for a moment, in spite of the scowl, and Remus shifted in his seat to better see him. "Where's the kitchen?" Severus asked finally.
"It's- you haven't eaten since you've been here?!" Remus sprung out of his seat, towards Severus, forgetting himself for a moment and thinking he'd help Severus to the sofa.
"Don't touch me," Severus hissed when he got near.
Remus stopped, dropping his eyes to the wand in Severus' hand before backing away a little. "I- Severus, sit down. I'll make you something," he said.
Severus seemed to consider it, and Remus really didn't know what could be so difficult about doing what he said. Still, it seemed to take quite a lot of thought before Severus nodded slightly and moved to take a seat. Remus moved into the kitchen and started pulling things out of the drawers.
Severus sat, back straight, but Remus could tell by his expression that he was listening to Remus intently. He pulled a tin of biscuits from a cabinet and nibbled one. "Biscuit?"
"No," Severus replied, brow creasing.
"All right," Remus said, and then looked at what he'd pulled out. "I... really don't know what you like. Is a sandwich all right? Turkey?"
"Fine."
Remus wondered if it was really fine, or if Severus wanted as little interaction as possible and was just agreeing to get this over with. He tried to ignore the nagging feeling in his gut, as he assembled the sandwich and arranged it on a plate, cutting it in half. He finally moved back into the sitting room and held out the plate to Severus. "Right in front of you," he said, and waited for Severus to take the plate before sitting down on the other end of the sofa. "This... doesn't have to be so terrible, Severus," he said softly, after a long pause.
Severus didn't reply at first. He only felt for his sandwich, moved it to his mouth and took a bite. He chewed, his expression a little thoughtful, and then finally spoke after he swallowed. "I don't imagine you're any more thrilled about this than I am."
"No... I'm not particularly enthused about having no choice in the matter. The Ministry "
"Is absolutely barking. Outside of being an absolute violation of human rights, they've paired a dark wizard with a dark creature, an Undefinable with an Undesirable."
Remus flinched at being called a creature, and he was glad Severus couldn't see it. "I'm... not actually. They decided that, considering my service to the Order, with the Wolfsbane, I am not considered an Undesirable. I think that's one of the reasons you were paired with me."
Severus turned his head in the direction of Remus' voice, scowling. He seemed to have forgotten his food. "And how do they expect that I can brew your potion, when I can not even..." he trailed off, and his expression clamped down.
Remus sighed. "'Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.'"
There was a long pause before Severus spoke. "Well said, Lupin."
"Oh, I was just quoting," Remus said lightly. "Groucho Marx." He shifted a little, wishing Severus would eat, but Severus was only frowning in thought. "I suppose they expect you to use my eyes," he said, careful to keep his tone even.
Severus' frown only deepened, and then he was standing and moving back to his room. "Impossible," he said, before adding, "Though I suppose if you eat me, I'll at least be free."
Remus couldn't help but frown.
Pairings/Characters: Snape/Lupin, Minerva, Hermione, Bellatrix, minor omc
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Blinded in the final battle and stripped of his wand, Severus finds himself locked in a cell after the dust settles, feeling hopeless and no better than a Muggle. After a seemingly endless wait, he is finally allowed his "freedom" from Ministry incarceration only by, once again, binding his life to another's... but at least Lupin is better than the alternatives.
Warnings/kinks: Forced marriage, disability, H/C, first time, angst, romance
Word count: 20,000-ish (overall)
Authors notes: Snupin Santa gift for
lysa1. Post-war, canon to HBP (AU). Title comes from a quote by Simone Signoret: "Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years."Part One (this part), Part Two, Part Three
In the wake of the final battle, the Ministry had gone off the deep end. Not that Severus had ever placed much stock in what the Ministry said or did before. Friedrich Nietzsche had once said, "Madness is rare in individuals but in groups, political parties, nations, and eras it's the rule." At thirty eight years of age, Severus could not disagree... He only wished he'd heard that particular quotation much earlier, before he took the mark and surrendered his life to a madman in the truest sense of the word.
Severus had lost track of how long he'd been here. The Ministry didn't really seem to know what to do with him. They hadn't thrown him in Azkaban (not that that was much of a threat anymore after the Dementors were gone), but he wasn't allowed his freedom either. Instead he was stripped of his wand and left in a cell... somewhere. No one would so much as tell him where he was, and it wasn't as though he hadn't had opportunity to find out. He was allowed to receive visitors and several of them a day seemed to show up, much to his chagrin.
He would much rather sit on his cot and stare at... well, nothing. Bellatrix's attempt to gouge out his eyes with her bare hands in the final battle had been both successful and a failure at the same time. The outward damage had been almost totally repairable with the exception of a now greyish cast that clouded even the whites of his eyes now, but the inward damage had not been so easy to fix. He could make out shapes, movement, even a very dull sense of colour, but not much else... and every time that door to his cell opened he felt exposed wandless and mostly sightless.
He stiffened when he heard the latch, swung his legs off the side of his cot and turned his head to glare in the general direction of the noise. After a moment, he squinted at the light pouring in from in, a fuzzy, roundish silhouette lumbering into the room.
"Severus Snape," a man said. Severus didn't recognise the voice. It was hollow and tinny with a little hint of nervousness. "Please come with me."
The first time someone had come to fetch him, the Ministry official charged with the task had attempted to help him and had had his wrist snapped. He supposed even they thought him useless now, no better than a Muggle (a quiet refrain that had begun to play over and over in his mind when all was quiet in his confines), as they didn't force him into submission even after that. They hadn't shackled him and drug him down the hallways. He almost wished they had, as it would have meant he wasn't as helpless as he felt. It would have meant he still had enough control to be feared. But, after learning very quickly not to touch him even if to guide him somewhere, they had only started using a more hands off approach, letting him follow their shadows, giving him quick directions, "Step down here, another, another, left turn, mind the swinging door."
They felt like the same directions as last time, when they had told him they intended to honour him with an Order of Merlin for his duties during the war... and then locked him back in his cell. Madness. Incomprehensible madness that only fueled Severus' ire at his situation which was not made better by the hours on end he spent alone lately only thinking.
"There's a chair about two feet in front of you, Mister Snape." It was still odd not having a title other than Mister in front of his name, but it was yet another thing the war had stripped away. "Please have a seat."
Severus stepped forward, reaching out at waist level for the back of the chair. When he found it, he slid around the front of it and seated himself as gracefully as he possibly could, crossing his legs and letting his upper foot bob irritably. He refused to speak. This man, whomever he was, was only going to speak in riddles and contradictions anyway.
Severus could hear the other man walking and then there was a hissing sound, air being pushed out of the cushion of a chair as the other man sat. "We will be preparing the papers for your release-"
"About bloody time," Severus spat... alright, perhaps his anger overpowered his will to keep silent. "You remove my wand, then tell me I'm to receive a medal of honour, only to lock me back in my little cell, and now, with no explanation, you're releasing me? Did some idiot make Potter Minister, because I fail to see the rationale behind any of this," he snapped.
"We're sorry, Severus."
Severus' head snapped toward the general direction of Kingsley's voice.
"Who else is here?"
"Just me and Cornfoot."
Severus scowled, as he could only take Kingsley's word for it, and folded his arms over himself, refusing to relax in his seat, only sitting stiffly upright. "Get on with it them."
"Well, there are a few things that need to be discussed before we release you." There was a shuffling of papers, and Severus could see the white flashes of bleached parchments moving about in front of him. "The Ministry has enacted a law to ensure the safety of the wizarding, and indeed Muggle, worlds now that Voldemort had been defeated. There are still many of His supporters out in the open and it is important to build a system of... checks, if you will."
"Checks?" Severus asked, suspicion lacing his voice. He didn't trust anything coming out of this Cornfoot's mouth to be good, especially not after the hesitation near the end.
"Ah, yes. The, ah, the Ministry is requiring all unmarried witches and wizards to be bound to another... magically."
"Marriage?" Severus asked, voice incredulous. The chair seemed to fall out from underneath him.
"Well, you can call it that, I suppose. We'd prefer to think of it as partnership. You see, we've worked very hard to match each single wizard to one another in a way that is beneficial to both the wizard and the Ministry, but placing those who were working for the Order with an Undesirable we can-"
"Not Undesirable, Cornfoot," Kingsly corrected.
"Excuse me?" Severus didn't have a wand... but he sorely wanted to curse the other two wizards into oblivion. Even if he had his wand, he couldn't see them to aim it the room was too dim, and they weren't moving enough. Merlin, he couldn't even throw anything at them. "I'm a what? Order of Merlin and I'm an Undesirable?"
"Mister Snape-"
"No! This is a violation of my rights! Of all of our rights. I did not live my life bound to two manipulative men only to be forced to be bound to yet another bloody person as soon as it was over." He could feel the heat in his face, which was twisted in rage. His fingers were gripping the edge of the chair fiercely... but he couldn't really do anything and that made this ten times worse.
"It's for the greater good," Cornfoot said softly, after a lengthy pause.
"If there was ever a statement that has caused more harm than good in our world, it is that one," Severus hissed.
"It's... not as though you don't have a choice in who we pair you with, Severus."
Severus turned his glare towards Kingsley's voice, and the brownish shadow moved towards him and seemed to sit.
"Would you prefer a female... companion, or a male?"
"I'd prefer to be executed for my crimes."
*****
It wasn't fair. Not in the least. But... Severus was also being unreasonable.
Minerva pushed past the security guards that lined the row of cells and waited to be let into Severus'. It was bare and grey and dark. She didn't suppose that Severus would have minded it much if he could see it, but she imagined not being able to see at all was probably driving him mad.
Her eyes fell on him, sitting at the edge of the bed as she always found him each time she came to visit. She regarded him sadly for a moment. His eyes aside, the final year of the war had left it's mark on him physically. He was thinner than he needed to be and more drawn. However, Severus didn't appreciate concern the way most did. He was likely to see it as pity. So when Minerva finally spoke, her tone was terse.
"You're a fool."
"And an Undesirable. And a murderer and a war hero. The list goes on and on, and makes very little sense." His expression was pinched.
Minerva sighed and crossed the room to sit on his cot next to him, sure to sit far enough away that she wasn't in danger of being snarled at for getting too close. "You're not an Undesirable. They didn't know where to put you. You're an Undefinable."
"...You're kidding."
"I wish I was. There's a small group of you, actually."
Severus didn't say a word, and Minerva turned from him, looking out at the room. What could she say to him that he didn't already know? She knew he probably felt hopeless and trapped, but somehow she didn't think he'd want her to address it.
"Do you really want to die, Severus?"
He didn't speak at first. He only frowned and dropped his gaze. "I want to be free, and if that's what it takes...."
Minerva sighed and was sorely tempted to wrap him in her arms. "They aren't going to kill you, Severus. It would be a bad public relations move."
Severus snorted, and Minerva couldn't even stop a small smile.
"It doesn't have to be that bad. Albus wouldn't have wanted this for you."
"Forgive me, but I finally don't have to care about what Albus wants or does not want and I intended to revel in that."
"Severus," Minerva snapped, not having meant to. She stood and paced to the door. "They aren't going to let you out unless you submit to the new laws. No one is immune, you know, it's not just you, and the fact remains that while you may not have the freedom of being truly unattached to anyone if you allow it, you will still be more free than you are sitting in this cell."
She knocked on the door for the guard to unlock it again and let her out, and Severus just turned to stare in her general direction. After a moment, the door swung open.
"I'd prefer not to watch you make yourself any more of a martyr than the war has already done to you."
With that, she stepped out, the metal door clanking shut behind her.
*****
It took another week for Severus to concede. She didn't come to visit him after that, which probably only hastened his decision. Bloody woman probably did it on purpose. The others had stopped visiting as well, and he suspected it was by her intervention. He had a half formed a mental image of Granger tied up and gagged in Minerva's closet, because, knowing her, she wouldn't have approved of proving a point by isolation.
Minerva had been right, as much as he was loathe to admit it. He didn't have to like this other person. He didn't even have to be civil. All he had to do was cohabitate, and the option of doing anything other than listen to the silence of the room as it battled the whirring string of anger and regret in his own head was enticing after he got over the indignity of the situation.
Cornfoot came every day to ask if he'd changed his mind only to be greeted with silence, or a reminder that he'd rather die, until the eighth day after Minerva's visit. When Severus had spouted off his preference for a "partner" (a male, someone unintrusive) as soon at the man was through the door, and Severus recognised the shadow (he was getting better at that). Cornfoot had seemed a little taken aback... and a little more relieved than Severus liked.
He hated that it pleased them, even in the least, and the upbeat tone Cornfoot's voice took on had made him almost reconsider. Instead he let Cornfoot lead him down the maze of hallways again and signed his release paper.
"Mister Snape, there is... one more thing."
Severus was almost angry at the mere suggestion that there was more. Hadn't he already given over enough? He just wanted to leave this place and go to sleep in his own bed for the first time in over a year.
"About your residence-"
Severus stiffened. "What about my home?"
"It was... destroyed... by Death Eaters, after your true loyalties were revealed. We... have reason to believe Bellatrix Lestrange might still be waiting on your release to... take... revenge."
Severus felt cold. Numb. Normally he would have laughed the threat of her off, but it wasn't easy to stop the chill from washing over him now. He couldn't defend himself against someone he couldn't see.
"There was enough in the Albus Dumbledore Memorial Veteran's Fund to purchase you and your partner a home here in London, one which has been placed under wards and privacy spells for your protection. We've also been careful in selecting your partner. He is very skilled in defense and..."
Cornfoot rattled on, but Severus was barely listening anymore. The notion that he needed protection settled like a lead weight in his gut. He hadn't expected to leave the war and not have anyone who still wanted his head on a platter... but the thought that it would be difficult, if not impossible to defend himself was only just hitting him. He almost wished they would just kill him.
"..Remus Lupin."
Any self loathing he was busy with came to a screeching halt. The name just spoken bringing him back into the conversation fast.
"What?"
"I was saying, he's very skilled in defense, and he's your age. I said I believed you knew him as well. Remus Lupin."
Severus couldn't think, couldn't process the reality of what had just been said. He felt frozen in place, and it took him several moments before he could speak again, his tone deathly serious. "Is it too late to un-sign my release papers?"
*****
It could have been worse, Remus thought. He had found himself firmly entrenched in Greyback's pack the final year of the war, having convinced the alpha he had been fighting on his side the night that Albus was murdered. His hands certainly weren't clean. He'd killed, and without the aide of Severus' Wolfsbane, he had probably even turned his share of the new wolves that filled out Fenrir's pack during the final year. That was worse than anything else, he thought, to know that he'd possibly inflicted his curse on anyone else.
He didn't know this for sure, of course, seeing as how he didn't remember a thing when transformed, but he doubted the likelihood that he hadn't.
He supposed the only thing that had saved him from winding up in the same position Severus was in was that his position had not been kept as secretive as Severus' had been. There were a small handful in the Order that knew he was acting for the Order, and they had spared him months of imprisonment... probably worse, considering the majority of the pack had been rounded up and executed following the final battle.
He really didn't know how he felt about being partnered with Severus. He was torn, if he was honest with himself. He'd never disliked the man before. Or at least he hadn't until Severus murdered Albus. After that, it seemed like every negative thought he'd kept at bay about Severus seemed to spring to the surface. Severus was responsible for the loss of so many people he loved James, Lily, Albus... even Sirius, to a certain extent. He'd spent the last year hating Severus in a way he hadn't ever thought possible... and then the war was over and truths were laid bare and all Remus was left with was a resounding sense of guilt that he'd felt that way, no matter how much he knew he had every right to.
Remus had been in the Ministry assigned home for several days. He'd moved in what little belongings he owned, and Minerva had been by with housewarming gifts, some books and linens. He supposed it was nerves at seeing Severus again for the first time since catching a fleeting glimpse of him fleeing the school the spring before last, but he seemed compelled to clean and tidy the house. It was silly, considering the house wasn't in need of cleaning and Severus couldn't see it anyway. Not that Severus would have been impressed either way.
Remus had been warned about Severus' state. He was told all about Severus' condition both mentally and physically, and informed that Severus would be given a wand. Not his own wand, a wand. After much deliberation, they had decided that, not only was Severus a danger based on his history, but that his lack of vision made him even more of a threat now. The wand he was provided with was spelled to perform only certain functions, those designed to assist with Severus' daily living.
It was a dreadful thing to do to a wizard so proud, and Remus was not expecting this to be easy. Not that he had thought it would go smoothly from the start, but he couldn't begin to imagine what Severus was feeling. It was for that reason Remus' heart jumped into his throat when he heard the knock at the door the evening Severus was meant to be dropped off.
He crossed the room to the door, and after a moment of hesitation he turned the locks, swinging the door open to see Severus standing on the doorstep. There was a squat man with a moustache standing behind him and looking nervous. "Don't touch him," he spoke up, and Remus flinched at those being the first words spoken in this meeting. Remus held up a hand to silence the other man and turned his attention to Severus.
He didn't have to hide his shock. Not really. But he did. Severus was thinner than he had been since the last Remus had seen him. He was drawn, paler than normal... but the most striking difference was the cloudy, dark grey cast his eyes had taken on. Remus tried not to stare, regardless of whether Severus could see it, and averted his eyes, trying to convince himself it wasn't... eerie.
"Hello, Severus," Remus said softly.
"Are you going to stand in my way all evening, or are you going to let me in?" Severus asked, looking right through Remus.
"Oh, I-" Remus stepped aside, and Severus stepped right in the room, walking forward so confidently that Remus wondered for a moment if reports on his vision loss were not wildly overblown. But then Severus paused as he neared the edge of the sofa, stepping back and then trying again until he found a clear path, and it was only then that Remus noticed the wand he had clenched in his hand.
"Where will I be sleeping?" Severus asked, making his way to the center of the room with some trial and error.
"The master bedroom," Remus answered. He didn't need that much space, and he thought Severus would appreciate it. "It's... to your left. Directly."
Severus didn't waste any time to turn himself toward the bedroom and slowly make his way there. He slowed near the door, and Remus wondered if he was going to back step, thinking Severus might think he was just going to run into something.
"Right in front of you. The door is closed."
Severus stepped forward and felt for the handle, and as soon as he found it he opened the door and slipped inside, shutting it with a bang behind him.
"It's like a bubble," the short wizard's voice said behind him, and Remus turned to find he had followed them into the room. "Phineus Cornfoot," he offered, holding his hand out to Remus'.
Remus took it hesitantly. "Remus Lupin, but I'm sure you knew that."
"That spell is like a bubble," Cornfoot went on. "It insulates the caster. Objects that get too close place pressure on the 'bubble,'" he said, making quotes in the air, "Pressure the caster can feel."
"Oh," Remus said. He really didn't have anything to say to the other man. He'd already been briefed on Severus, and he just wanted to settle in for the night as comfortably as he could. He certainly didn't want to chat with one of the Ministry officials who had put him and Severus in this uncomfortable, at best, situation.
"He probably won't need it here after a while, so long as you don't redecorate," Cornfoot said, laughing in a way that reminded him a little of Peter. It didn't endear him to the other man in the least.
There was another wizard levitating a small traveling case into the room, and Remus directed him to leave it by Severus' bedroom door. When he turned back around Cornfoot was staring at him.
"If you have any problems with him, let us know."
Remus couldn't help but frown at the other man. "Isn't that the point of this? Make us all babysit one another?"
Cornfoot's smile faded fast. "Yes, well, Mister Snape is a special case. He-"
"Are we through?" Remus couldn't help but feel a little bad at the way Cornfoot shifted on his feet, but that didn't change the way he felt.
"Yes, Mister Lupin, I believe we are."
Remus made quick work of getting the other wizard out of the house and resetting his wards, and then promptly stood in the entry way, completely unsure what to do next. It was silly, really. Severus had just disappeared into his room without a word, but Remus somehow felt different, as if his presence left more of an impact now and he needed to be cautious of what he did.
After a few moments of silence and stillness, he stepped in the sitting room, rolling his neck, and looked at the case sitting in front of Severus' door. He supposed Severus knew it was coming. He also imagined Severus was getting on well enough, as he hadn't heard a sound come from the door since Severus stepped inside.
He stepped toward the door slowly and came to a stop a few feet in front of it. "Severus?" he said softly. There was no answer after a few moments, so he went on. "Should I bring your case in?"
"No," came the immediate reply.
"Have- have you eaten?"
The next reply was slower in coming. "Yes."
Remus almost smiled at how awkward this was, almost smiled out of sheer embarrassment at the situation, but he didn't. "I'm sure Ministry food can't be all that good."
He stood there until it was clear those two words were all he was going to get out of Severus that night, and then turned on his heel and headed to the kitchen to make himself a dinner.
*****
The case was gone from outside of Severus' door the following day, but Severus was still out of sight. Remus wondered if Severus was avoiding him completely, waiting for Remus to go to sleep in order to come out and eat or do anything else. He didn't see Severus for the first couple of days and after a while, he had started to worry.
He hadn't expected this to be easy, or for them to suddenly become friends. That was not even something he dared to wish for. But he hadn't expected this outright avoidance either. He was not going to go knocking on Severus' door, however. He had a feeling that would do nothing but make things worse.
He was glad then when Severus emerged on the third day and paused. He seemed to be waiting for any indication that Remus was there, and Remus eyed his still form for a moment before speaking.
"I was beginning to think I'd never see you."
Severus' features went from curious to dark in a matter of seconds as soon as Remus opened his mouth. "Wouldn't that be lucky." He looked a little lost for a moment, in spite of the scowl, and Remus shifted in his seat to better see him. "Where's the kitchen?" Severus asked finally.
"It's- you haven't eaten since you've been here?!" Remus sprung out of his seat, towards Severus, forgetting himself for a moment and thinking he'd help Severus to the sofa.
"Don't touch me," Severus hissed when he got near.
Remus stopped, dropping his eyes to the wand in Severus' hand before backing away a little. "I- Severus, sit down. I'll make you something," he said.
Severus seemed to consider it, and Remus really didn't know what could be so difficult about doing what he said. Still, it seemed to take quite a lot of thought before Severus nodded slightly and moved to take a seat. Remus moved into the kitchen and started pulling things out of the drawers.
Severus sat, back straight, but Remus could tell by his expression that he was listening to Remus intently. He pulled a tin of biscuits from a cabinet and nibbled one. "Biscuit?"
"No," Severus replied, brow creasing.
"All right," Remus said, and then looked at what he'd pulled out. "I... really don't know what you like. Is a sandwich all right? Turkey?"
"Fine."
Remus wondered if it was really fine, or if Severus wanted as little interaction as possible and was just agreeing to get this over with. He tried to ignore the nagging feeling in his gut, as he assembled the sandwich and arranged it on a plate, cutting it in half. He finally moved back into the sitting room and held out the plate to Severus. "Right in front of you," he said, and waited for Severus to take the plate before sitting down on the other end of the sofa. "This... doesn't have to be so terrible, Severus," he said softly, after a long pause.
Severus didn't reply at first. He only felt for his sandwich, moved it to his mouth and took a bite. He chewed, his expression a little thoughtful, and then finally spoke after he swallowed. "I don't imagine you're any more thrilled about this than I am."
"No... I'm not particularly enthused about having no choice in the matter. The Ministry "
"Is absolutely barking. Outside of being an absolute violation of human rights, they've paired a dark wizard with a dark creature, an Undefinable with an Undesirable."
Remus flinched at being called a creature, and he was glad Severus couldn't see it. "I'm... not actually. They decided that, considering my service to the Order, with the Wolfsbane, I am not considered an Undesirable. I think that's one of the reasons you were paired with me."
Severus turned his head in the direction of Remus' voice, scowling. He seemed to have forgotten his food. "And how do they expect that I can brew your potion, when I can not even..." he trailed off, and his expression clamped down.
Remus sighed. "'Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.'"
There was a long pause before Severus spoke. "Well said, Lupin."
"Oh, I was just quoting," Remus said lightly. "Groucho Marx." He shifted a little, wishing Severus would eat, but Severus was only frowning in thought. "I suppose they expect you to use my eyes," he said, careful to keep his tone even.
Severus' frown only deepened, and then he was standing and moving back to his room. "Impossible," he said, before adding, "Though I suppose if you eat me, I'll at least be free."
Remus couldn't help but frown.