severity_softly

Title: A Hundred Tiny Threads, Part 3/3
Pairings/Characters: Snape/Lupin, Minerva, Hermione, Bellatrix, minor omc
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Blinded in the final battle and stripped of his wand, Severus finds himself locked in a cell after the dust settles, feeling hopeless and no better than a Muggle. After a seemingly endless wait, he is finally allowed his "freedom" from Ministry incarceration only by, once again, binding his life to another's... but at least Lupin is better than the alternatives.
Warnings/kinks: Forced marriage, disability, H/C, first time, angst, romance
Word count: 20,000-ish (overall)
Authors notes: Snupin Santa gift for lysa1. Post-war, canon to HBP (AU). Title comes from a quote by Simone Signoret: "Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years."

Part One, Part Two, Part Three (this part)

It hadn't taken much of an argument for Severus to be granted his wand again. All Severus had had to do was threaten to go public with the fact that his being stripped of his wand had nearly killed two innocent men. Relatively innocent, that is. The Ministry knew he would do it, too. They were already even more terse with him than usual, considering all the noise he'd been making.

He hadn't killed Bellatrix, unfortunately, but she was safely in Ministry custody now and quite incapacitated. Severus had the half formed thought that he might write the Ministry and see if they would allow him to finish the job he'd almost accomplished.

In spite of his vision, Severus couldn't help but feel more complete than he had in a long time. He had his wand back, which meant he was able to do more. He felt more independent for the first time in a long time. It was funny to realise this, actually. He wasn't independent. He was still bound to Remus, but... that somehow didn't seem to matter as much anymore.

Of course, Bellatrix had made him necessary for Remus now. The return of Severus' wand could not have come at a better time for Remus. The healers at St. Mungo's had never seen the curse Bellatrix had used on him before, but they were able to nurse him back to health over a few days with only some residual effects. It was difficult to stand for very long and he sometimes needed to be helped to make even short walks on his bad days. The healers believed that he would eventually make a full recovery with therapy.

The playing field had leveled a bit with Remus' injuries, and Severus found an interesting pattern in how they both resisted and yielded to assistance from one another, himself less so now. He'd never really thought of Remus as being particularly proud before, but now he could see it. Helping Remus was a little like a game of chess, with Remus giving over little pieces to keep the important ones safe.

It drove Severus mad... but he could respect it, none the less.

It didn't help that he had to touch Remus quite a bit more than necessary. Remus wasn't going to get well by using levitation charms to get everywhere, so Severus had to actually help him walk around. Perhaps it was just that he'd gone so many years without being touched in even a neutral way, but something about Remus' skin, the warmth of it, set Severus' skin on fire, and he found himself spending an inordinate amounts of time trying to ignore or explain away the way it affected him.




Severus hadn't said as much directly, but Remus could tell that he was happier now that he had his wand back. He was supervising the rebuilding of the kitchen, checking the structure with a series of spells, doing the cooking now that he could do it with less likelihood he would burn himself or set anything on fire. Remus was almost surprised that Severus was a better cook than him.

Severus never made mention of it. He never complained that he had become Remus' crutch, and Remus sometimes wondered if it was due to his own disability. Considering Remus had been in quite a bit of pain as he laid there listening to Bellatrix torment Severus, he decided he could live with the numbness in his legs and the way they had been weakened, and he was grateful Severus didn't make an issue of it.

Remus had been moved downstairs, due not only to his legs, but also to the destruction Severus had caused. Parts of the study and upstairs bathroom had been destroyed, and that entire level of the house was unstable. He had claimed the couch and the bathroom under the stairs as his own. Severus was a lot less reclusive now than before, and had taken to sharing Remus' couch to work on his letters and editorials, and Remus' location in the house now left little that was happening in the house to his imagination.

They still had visitors, though the Ministry was being much more strict about who was granted access to the house. It was nearly two weeks after the incident with Bellatrix had occurred that Hermione stopped by again, and asked to speak with Severus. They had disappeared into the kitchen, Remus assumed to sit at the dining room table, only to emerge again not long after.

"House Elves?!" Severus was making his way out of the kitchen briskly, Hermione on his trail.

"Yes, but that wasn't the entire-- You barely let me begin, I--"

"You think that qualifies you assist me in getting the laws changed? That you learned a knitting charm and gave the House Elves clothes? They don't even want to be freed, and I don't want your help."

Remus couldn't help but smile a little at their interaction, and when Hermione looked over at him for support, she gave him a withering glance. He hid the smile as soon as he realised.

Severus settled on the couch next to Remus, and Hermione stubbornly settled into the chair next to it, in spite of the fact that Severus was clearly finished with her.

"Sever "

"Do not be so familiar, Miss Granger."

That seemed to deflate her a little, surprisingly. He shoulders dropped and she frowned at him. "I do work in magical law, you know."

"Then you're the enemy," Severus quipped.

Remus rolled his eyes. "Perhaps another time?" he said to Hermione.

"Perhaps she should give up right now. I don't need a champion. I am perfectly capable of doing this myself." Severus crossed his arms over his chest and settled back against the sofa.

Remus wondered if Severus would even accept help from him, let alone a former student. He was so used to doing things himself in life that he might even view accepting help as a weakness. In fact, Remus was sure that was the case, if only by the way Severus had become remarkably less withdrawn the moment he got his wand back and could do more for himself.

Hermione gave Remus another look, this one pleading, but Remus knew that right now this conversation wasn't going to go anywhere. He shrugged and gave her a little shake of his head. "I'd walk you out, but..." he started.

"It's fine, Remus." She looked thoroughly disappointed, but she sat up and walked to the door anyway. "This isn't over," she said, and then stepped outside. Remus cast the charm to lock the door and Severus snorted.

"What?"

"'This isn't over?' That was a little over dramatic, wasn't it?"

"So says the man that just called Hermione Granger 'the enemy.'"

Severus frowned. "They hated me before. I fail to see why they cannot continue to do so now." Severus leaned forward and picked up a parchment he'd left on the small coffee table. He set the Quick Quill to work, and it began scribbling furiously. It was funny how the normally generic look of Quick Quill lettering looked a little spiky when Severus used it, as if the intensity of his thought caused the quill to move more feverishly than it normally would have.

"You are not the man they thought they knew."

The quill slowed, then stopped when Severus addressed Remus again. "I do not need her, or anyone else, to feel they must suddenly rush to my side in some sort of penance for poor Severus Snape having been treated as he was in life. I am sick and bloody tired of reading the muck they publish about me, painting me as some tragic hero archetype, feeding this notion that everyone ought to rush to my aid now, because, oh, wasn't I always there for them, really?"

Remus paused, eying Severus for a moment. It had to be difficult for Severus, feeling so exposed, so publicly. That Severus was too proud to accept people's apologies and offers of assistance didn't help. Or maybe he truly felt himself undeserving of it. "I think Hermione is just being Hermione," Remus said. "Besides, it's probably helping your campaign, don't you think?"

Severus pursed his lips and made a non committal noise.

"What are you writing now?"

"The Prophet ought to know that the Ministry nearly cost two men their lives because they deprived one his wand."

"Severus, you told them you wouldn't-"

"They held me to no oath," Severus cut him off, then turned back to face the parchment and the quill began to move again. Remus supposed he couldn't blame Severus for being vindictive about it, and wondered why he wasn't.

He took the time to look at Severus. He'd been doing a lot of that lately, and it seemed he couldn't stop himself. The spell Bellatrix had cast that set Severus' hair on fire had resulted in him having to cut it. It wasn't short, but most of it now hung about chin length, and while it was still oily, it looked less lank like it was than it used to... it was left looking almost unkempt in a way that Severus likely would have hated had he been able to see it, but that Remus found rather appealing. Severus looked... well shagged.

Severus ran his hand along the back of his neck, hooking it there for a moment in a gesture that had become common since the incident with Bellatrix. It was as if Severus felt the back of his neck had been left unprotected.

"I've never seen so much of your neck," Remus said softly, then blushed at having said it.

This time the quill did not slow to a stop, but froze immediately. "Why are you looking at my neck?"

Because I want to taste it and see if it feels as smooth under my tongue as it looks like it would be, Remus answered in his mind, and wondered why he couldn't stop thinking things like that about Severus. "I was just observing," he muttered. "I think... if you don't mind..." Remus started. It was so difficult to ask for help with day to day living, but he didn't have a choice. "I think I'd like to have a bath."

Severus only nodded and put his things down, then stood and held out his hand to Remus. Remus took the offered hand, and with their combined efforts he was hoisted off the couch. They made their way slowly to the small bathroom just under the stairs, and Severus let Remus come to settle on the edge of the bathtub, where he slowly began undressing himself.

It had been awkward the first few times they'd done this, but it was getting easier to swallow his pride and do it. If he could support himself just right he could do all the undressing himself, and he was thankful for that. What he wasn't thankful for, was the way Severus seemed to watch him. He knew Severus could only make out shapes and shadows and probably wasn't seeing much at all, but Remus couldn't help but feel a little laid bare at the perceived scrutiny. What was worse was that a small part of him liked it.

After the discomfort of the newness of this had passed, Remus had suddenly found himself growing hard just getting naked in front of Severus with Severus "watching" him. Severus would help him up and into the tub, then he'd leave, and Remus had spent the last few baths not getting very clean at all, but rather relieving himself in the warm water. It was something he clearly needed to stop, but he couldn't, and somewhere in the back of his mind he wondered if he'd been in the mood for a bath just now only because he'd been having those thoughts about Severus again.

He finished undressing as Severus drew the bath, and then he reached out to take Severus' hand in indication that he was ready. Severus pulled him up and guided him into the bath... and then he slipped. It wasn't the first time it had happened with his legs as weak as they were, but this time he almost couldn't catch himself. Severus' grip tightened and pulled forward and in doing so he over corrected and pulled Remus back out of the tub, and they both went stumbling back until Remus was slumped against Severus, who had backed them against the wall on accident.

At first the stumble was enough to distract Remus, and Severus as well, but after a moment, Severus gasped softly, and Remus pulled back to the expression of shock on his face... and then he felt something pulse to life under Severus' clothes slightly, just to the left of where his own length was pressed against Severus. Severus made a fast, jerky movement to get Remus away without withdrawing his support, then walked Remus back to the bathtub. He settled Remus in again with less care than normal, and was out the door without another word.




Severus slipped out of the bathroom and shut the door behind him. If he would have been thinking properly, he might have chided his heart for daring to beat so fast, so hard, against the inside of his ribcage. That could not have just happened. That should not have just happened. Severus realised after a moment that he was simply standing outside the bathroom door and hadn't moved, but his mind seemed stuck in place. His body had apparently followed its lead.

Severus forced his feet to move, after quite a bit of urging, and made it to his bedroom. He collapsed in bed and tried to catch his breath (when had he lost it?) It wasn't as though he had never once entertained the thought of Remus in such a manner. Remus' touch felt good and gentle and made his skin tingle, the sensation sometimes lingering for minutes after he'd stopped touching the other man. He was lonely, in spite of living with Remus, and had spent his entire life that way... but... it was just ridiculous fantasy. He'd gone a lifetime avoiding touch and his body was simply responding, so Severus had done his very best to ignore it. Even on the rare occasion that the fantasy went beyond the touch of Remus' hand to the sound of his smile in something he said, or the way that he insisted on re folding the Prophet exactly how it came, even when he knew Severus was just going to wreck its perfect creases, Severus had pushed it down and away as fiercely as possible... because there was no way possible Remus would ever want him.

Severus had convinced himself some time ago that he was content with this arrangement as it was, that there was no use in even hoping for more. That same voice in his mind was talking to him now, telling him that Remus' state of arousal had nothing to do with him, that he was reading too much into it.

He rolled to his side, tucked his hands between his knees to keep them from going to his cock, which was now aching with need at the very thought of Remus now... in the bath, hard and relieving himself. He would ignore it as he always did, go back and help Remus out of the bath, and they would go on with life as if nothing had happened. Simple. Rational. Safe.


*****


Neither of them mentioned it. Neither of them dared to broach the subject of what had happened, but they went about their daily lives as normal. The slight difference was that Severus seemed to spend even more time in the sitting room working than he had before after the first couple of days had passed. Remus wondered if it was because he wanted to be near Remus after what happened and he simply didn't know how to approach it, or if he was simply trying to distract himself with more work, as he didn't speak any more than he had before. On more than a few occasions, Severus had drawn a breath as if to speak, and then seemingly changed his mind, and Remus was too terrified of what he might say in regards to what had happened that he didn't push. After a week had passed, Remus found himself wanting to bring it up, but he couldn't. It seemed to hang in the air, and the fact that Severus' body had responded was driving him mad. Why couldn't he just come out and say he wanted Severus? It had been plain enough, and he thought Severus' response indicated Severus wanted him as well.

Severus had gone to bed especially late, but it hardly seemed to matter. Remus couldn't sleep. Severus shut the door to his room and the sitting room was engulfed in darkness as Remus extinguished to lights and lost himself in thought. Had his little spill cost them the comfort they had slipped into? At first, Severus had slipped into touching him only as much as necessary, which was less than he had been before. That was interesting to note, how little Severus could touch him and still help him. But after a few days, Severus seemed to have forgotten the distance he was trying to maintain, and Remus wondered if that was because it was tiring to remain so aloof with someone you needed to touch, or if Severus had grown to accept what had happened in that bathroom.He wasn't sure how long it had been, his mind was turning everything over and over again for what had to be the millionth time, but it was some time later that Severus stepped out of his bedroom door again, staring straight ahead into the room. He didn't speak until Remus moved to look over the back of the couch at him, and Remus assumed he'd heard the rustle of fabric when he moved.

"You can't be comfortable in here."

Remus' brows drew together. "I'm fine," he said softly, then cleared his throat. "It really shouldn't be too much longer before I can move back upstairs."

"In the meantime, you might make a quicker recovery if you were able to stretch out," Severus suggested.

Remus didn't know where this was going, or why, but he shifted again onto his arm and regarded Severus calmly. "How do you know I can't stretch out completely?" Remus asked, and then wondered if he should have.

"I hear your bones cracking every morning when you sit up. Quite frankly, I'm sick of hearing it."

Remus blinked at him, then bit his lip... but he couldn't stop himself from chuckling anyway, and it felt good that he felt comfortable enough to do it. He'd spent the last week on pins and needles. "I can't ask you to give up your bed, Severus."

"I'm not offering to give up my bed."

It took a moment for what Severus said to sink in. Didn't Severus just offer to- Oh. Oh. "Oh." Brilliant response. Remus paused for a long moment. What did that mean? Was the offer really as simple as Severus made it sound? "All right," Remus replied after a while.

Severus had been standing in the doorway, his expression as blank as it might be if he'd only just asked Remus for tea. When Remus answered, Severus finally shifted and walked over to the couch, moving around to the front and holding out a hand to Remus, which Remus took. He'd been laying down, so his legs were worse than normal, just as they were in the mornings after sleeping. Remus had to lean on him fully as they walked into Severus' bedroom.

Severus guided him to the edge of the bed, then moved to shut the door. When Severus returned to the opposite side of the bed, he did something Remus would have never expected Severus to do in a million years. Severus took off his dressing gown.

Remus couldn't breath, his mouth was suddenly dry, and his fingers closed around fistfuls of the sheets. He couldn't stop staring at the expanse of pale skin, the planes of Severus' hips... the partially erect cock. Remus instantly wanted to suck it into his mouth, drag the flat of his tongue along the underside and work it to full attention between his lips.

Severus indicated nothing, but judging by Severus' state of semi arousal, Remus thought he should probably remove his clothing as well.

This was the strangest foreplay Remus had ever indulged in. Was this even foreplay? If Remus was wondering if it was, he doubted that it could be, but it was oddly exciting anyway in a voyeuristic sort of way. Remus pulled his shirt over his head and then worked his way out of his pants, his own cock springing free, already fuller than Severus'. Severus turned his gaze to the rustling of fabric, and once it stopped, when Remus tossed his clothes to the floor, Severus slid into the bed, under the covers. Remus followed, and they both laid there on their backs for a long moment.

Was this it? Remus was starting to get the ridiculous idea that the Severus might not have been excited at all. Maybe he just slept in the nude and Remus had jumped to conclusions. It wasn't until Severus spoke that Remus realised why this was so uncomfortable.

"I wish I could see you," he whispered.

Remus swallowed thickly, and then made the first move to roll onto his side toward Severus. Severus turned his head and looked at him, and they were close enough that Severus was looking him in the eyes, even if he didn't realise it.

"You can still touch me, and hear me... and taste me."

Severus sucked in a breath at that, and Remus slid his hand over Severus' waist. It was enough to steal his breath, the feel of smooth skin under his fingertips and the way Severus shifted, not away from the touch, but into it.

"What colour are your eyes, Lupin?"

Remus blinked, then smiled. Of course Severus would not have paid attention before. Even if he had known before, he'd been a little too preoccupied with the war to have bothered to retain such a trivial bit of information. "Brown with flecks of green," he answered, and leaned closer to Severus.

"And the grey in your hair?"

Remus pressed his lips to Severus', and Severus gasped softly in response. It almost undid Remus that Severus was so responsive. He had to wonder how often Severus had done this, as his reactions were almost that of a man that had been starved of touch. Remus slid his tongue along Severus' lower lip, and Severus moaned and opened his mouth to allow Remus to kiss him fully. Severus' tongue was hot against his and the slide of it over his own made Remus ache for more, but he made himself pull back just enough to whisper against Severus' lips. "Completely taken over my temples, I'm afraid."

Severus reached up, finding Remus' face and threading his fingers into the hair at Remus' temples before sliding all the way into his hair and pulling Remus down for another kiss. One hand pulled away and then the backs of Severus' knuckles were brushing his temples again. "Coarse," Severus mumbled.

"If you had any grey, you might have known that it was."

"I always hated the way you used to smile at me."

Remus knew exactly what Severus meant without clarification, and he leaned forward and pressed his face into the curve between Severus' jaw and neck, letting his lips curve against Severus' skin. Fingers went tighter in his hair, and Remus breathed in Severus' scent, amazed that he was even allowed to do it.

And then there was a raged intake of breath, a heave of Severus' chest, and sound from Severus that Remus couldn't read. When he pulled back to look at Severus, Severus' cheeks were wet and Remus was suddenly terrified. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you," he babbled, his voice barely above a whisper, but Severus pulled him back and Remus didn't understand what was happening until he spoke.

Severus' voice was barely audible as well. "...I'm not upset."

Remus pulled back just enough to look at Severus, heart hammering in his throat. He wanted to kiss the tears away, but Severus was wiping his face and shifting a little, and Remus knew he was uncomfortable. He leaned down again to taste Severus' lips, his jaw, his neck... and it was every bit as smooth and perfect as he'd imagined it would be. "I want you," Remus whispered against Severus' Adam's apple, and he could feel the shiver that ran through Severus' body. Severus' fingers were in his hair, and he was tilting his head back and pressing his neck up against Remus' mouth. He was pulling Remus to him gently, urging Remus on, so Remus scraped his teeth over the bump, worrying the skin beneath his teeth until it was heated, and Severus groaned.

Remus shifted down a bit, and it was difficult to properly pepper Severus' chest with kisses without climbing on top of him. He didn't think his legs would hold him, however, so he dragged the flat of his tongue over Severus' nipple, reaching out and pinching the one farthest from him until it came to attention, and then rolled it between his thumb and forefinger. Severus arched up off the bed, a sound somewhere between a moan and gasp coming from his mouth. Remus found it was almost hard to believe that he was doing this, that Severus' face was so open, his lips parting as he panted softly. It was enough to make him greedy. He wanted to reach down and touch himself, guide himself into Severus and watch him as he drove into him.

His hand automatically slid down and between Severus' legs, brushing past his cock and over his perineum in a way that drew a groan out of Severus' lips, and he pressed the tip of his index finger against Severus' pucker. Severus gasped, and then his entire body went from plaint to tense at once. Remus quickly pulled his hand away and looked up to see Severus was frowning and his chest was rising and falling rapidly.

"I haven't," Severus started. The words sounded difficult to say, as if he were pushing them out against his will. "Ever..."

Oh. That explained a lot. Remus pushed himself up and kissed Severus to keep him from feeling he needed to explain any more. He dipped his tongue into Severus' mouth and kissed him in a way he hoped was reassuring. He drew it out until he felt Severus' body start to relax under him again, until Severus' movements shifted once again from timid to bold, and he started to give back into the kiss as much as Remus was giving him. "All right," Remus said softly. He was far from experienced himself, but he knew what he was doing and what he liked, at least. Still, this would require a much different approach.

His lips moved back down Severus' body, gliding over skin that was so eager for touch. He moved over Severus' neck and chest again and found himself laving his tongue across the softer part of Severus' stomach. The fingers that had been in his hair were now scrabbling at his shoulders, and Remus couldn't tell if Severus was aroused or ticklish by the way he squirmed. Possibly both, but it was too fascinating to stop. Remus traced shapes across Severus' skin, moving lower with each swipe of his tongue until Severus' toes were curling and uncurling against the mattress, and Remus' cock was painfully full and aching for touch.

Remus ducked his head, still resting next to Severus' side, and sucked Severus' cock into his mouth. Severus thrust up automatically. "Oh! Remus," he groaned, and Remus couldn't help the moan that only the simple use of his first name caused. Severus bucked again, this time with less control, pushing up into the vibrations Remus' moan had caused and Remus planted his hands on Severus' hips and began to hum softly as he slid his tongue and lips down, taking Severus' prick into his mouth. God, it felt good, the hard length sliding between his lips, and Severus' hands were gripping the sheets so firmly his knuckles had gone white.

Remus pulled away briefly, only to mutter the word "Relax," and then he whispered a lubrication charm that made Severus shiver. Remus covered Severus' cock with his mouth again, snaking his tongue along the underside of the shaft in hopes that it would relax Severus as he pressed a finger inside. Severus tensed only slightly and squirmed a little, and Remus looked up to see his brows were drawn together. He was thinking about it too much.

Remus left his finger inside of Severus and focused again on Severus' cock. He pulled away, kissing up the underside of it and then flicking his tongue against the slit. Severus gasped and clenched around his finger in response, and Remus swallowed him again, humming tunelessly. After a few moments, Severus shifted and bore down against his finger and Remus took the hint. He pressed his finger inside, trying not to think of his cock inside the tight warmth, because he might explode from the slow pace of this, and soon his finger was keeping time with his mouth. Severus was gasping for breath and Remus closed his eyes, taking it in the way Severus couldn't seem to stop moving, writhing, with each swipe of his tongue.

He slid another finger inside Severus and this time it was easier for Severus to adjust, then Remus crooked his fingers and found Severus' prostate. Severus cried out, arching back against the bed and, after only a few moments of gentle circling, Severus exploded in Remus' mouth, pulsing warm, salty fluid against Remus' tongue as he clenched and released around Remus' fingers. He panted and moaned, and Remus couldn't get enough, milking it for every last drop.

Remus was trembling with need, but he watched as the orgasm shook Severus, watched as he settled again, his expression more relaxed than Remus might have thought possible before. He hadn't moved his fingers, and once Severus had caught his breath, Remus wiggled them inside of Severus. Severus gasped, his eyes flying open again, and his breath quickly left him once more.

"God, I want you," Remus whispered again, fingers moving only slightly, and then Severus nodded his understanding and consent.

Remus shifted up again, his lips meeting Severus' again, and noting the colour in Severus' skin, a warmth he'd never seen on Severus before. He he hadn't considered how this was going to work with his legs as weak as they were until now, and he took his time kissing Severus, trailing his fingers over the planes of his body as he figured it out. When he pulled back, he nudged Severus to roll to his side, facing away from him and slid up behind him, forming his body to fit up against Severus'.

He kissed along the back of Severus' shoulders, pausing to nip at the skin from time to time, and then cast a fresh lubrication charm. He found his hand was trembling when he reached down to take himself in his own hand, and he wondered how much of that was desire and how much of that was nerves. He'd never been anyone's first before, and it wasn't as though he was even fully capable at the moment. That Severus would trust him with this was truly amazing... and terrifying. Severus had seemed to enjoy what he'd done already, however, and had consented to more, so Remus pressed the head of his cock to Severus' pucker.

That pressure alone was enough to shatter his resolve, but he forced himself to calm. "Can I?" he asked, voice shaking, unsure if Severus wanted more preparation or not, but Severus pressed back.

"Yes," he moaned into the pillow, and Remus pushed inside slowly.

It was amazing being inside of Severus. His body seemed to just suck Remus in, and Severus made a strangled noise. Remus could hear him clawing at the sheets, so he held still, waiting for Severus to adjust. It was difficult. He fit so perfectly against Severus that every breath he took seemed to create just enough friction between their bodies to make Remus want to forget what he was doing and lose himself in the feeling... and then Severus shifted and mumbled "Move," and Remus did.

He was slow, painstakingly so, at first, allowing Severus to adjust the the burn and slide of something much thicker than fingers inside of him, but pleasure was coursing up and down through his body and it was difficult to stay steady. His balls were already tightening. God, had it been so long since the last time? Remus dug his nails into Severus' hip and pulled him back against him as he rolled his hips forward, and Severus moaned. Remus sped and found himself wishing he could see Severus, he wanted to watch what this was doing to the other man, so he shifted so that he was propped up on the arm under him.

Severus' hair was strewn across his face, which was twisted in pleasure, and his cheeks were even more coloured than before. He was panting heavily and Remus looked down to see Severus was already hard again and fisting himself, his purpled cock sliding between his fingers. Remus' hips bucked, and they both moaned in unison, then Remus let himself go, abandoning himself to the pull of Severus' pliant body.

He released Severus' hip and interlaced his hand with Severus', squeezing and pulling the other man's cock until Severus was moaning and coming over their hands. He clenched around Remus and Remus felt himself fall over the edge. His thrusts went erratic and then he stilled, spilling out into Severus, his body convulsing a little against Severus' back until he was spent. With a heavy exhalation of breath, he collapsed against the bed, letting himself slip from Severus' body, and he pressed another kiss against Severus' back.

He hummed in contentment, his fingers stroking down Severus' side. Once his mind had come back down to earth, he had the stupid compulsion to ask how it was, in spite of the fact that he bloody well knew the answer, but after a few moments Severus' breath had evened out and slowed considerably. When Remus whispered his name, Severus was silent, having succumbed to sleep.


*****


Life seemed to settle quite a bit after that. Months passed, and while Severus was still fighting the current laws and Remus' legs regained their strength, Remus settled happily into bed with him on a nightly basis, some nights just to sleep, and others for more. Regardless of pre sleep activities, however, it didn't seem to matter how far apart from each other on the mattress they were when they drifted off, they generally woke entangled in some manner. Remus was happy to find that Severus wasn't embarrassed by this. Maybe the other man had finally accepted that he deserved to have that, and Remus wasn't about to bring it up.

Severus gave far fewer personal interviews ever since Bellatrix had invaded their home, but rather continued most of his correspondence through owl post. Xiomara seemed to have accepted her fate of being endlessly in flight, thankfully.

Hermione had started making even more frequent appearances at their home, often unannounced. Severus, to his credit, was at least civil to her, after he accepted the fact that she would not give up, even when she bombarded him with questions about the best courses of action to take. Severus answered, corrected, and sometimes insulted her, but she seemed to let it slide off her back. And then she would leave and Remus would be treated to a lengthy diatribe on Gryffindor sensibilities, and how everything she'd suggested was every bit as reckless as he would expect from a Gryffindor. He'd go on to say that the only way to beat the system was to subvert it, not just jump in yelling like an idiot.

It was the same speech every time, but Remus found himself growing fond of it. That Severus would say so much all at once was a bit of a treat. Still, listening to Severus talk about what they were trying to accomplish left a lingering feeling of dread in his gut.

What if he had grown too attached to Severus too quickly? What if Severus only thought he wanted Remus because he had no other options? It didn't matter that the law was unfair to Remus. There was this selfish part of him that didn't want Severus to succeed, just because it meant he might lose the company of the man he'd grown so used to over the last months, a man he never thought he'd know never thought it was possible to know so intimately.

The tides were turning quickly, however, and when the headlines finally graced the front page of the Prophet, Remus felt ill. He read the article and left it sitting on the dining room table for Severus like he always did. He made himself some tea and settled into the couch, attempting to read, but he couldn't concentrate. The rustling of paper as Severus refolded it so he could better cast the charm to read it was too much distraction for Remus to concentrate and he found himself re reading the same sentence over and over again. Each time he did, it made less and less sense.

After a while, Severus appeared in the sitting room and made his way to the sofa, sinking into it next to Remus. He looked a little lost, just staring ahead, a frown creasing his brow. "You know, if I were a different man, I might get a swelled head from all the publicity."

Remus laughed, a small soundless laugh. He didn't really feel like laughing. "Good thing for that," he said. He wasn't really listening to himself, but rather making mindless conversation as he waited for Severus to start talking about leaving, planning where he was going to go. "The structural integrity of the house is already compromised. Not sure it could take the pressure, should your head get bigger what with the war hero status, and Order of Merlin, and an unsurprising talent for politics." Remus was babbling and he knew it.

The corner of Severus' lip curled, but otherwise Severus didn't react, and the half smile did not reach his eyes.

"Why are--" Remus started to ask. "I thought you'd be happy."

Severus pursed his lips in thought. "I am. I got what I wanted," he said, but it didn't change the expression on his face.

Remus nodded a little and took a sip of his tea. His stomach twisted at what he knew he was about to say, but the words came out anyway. "What then?"

"What now?" Severus asked in return.

What now? Remus frowned and shifted, glancing over his shoulder at Severus' door. He knew what was coming. He didn't want to postpone the inevitable any longer that he had to, because every moment he let himself think Severus was going to stay, the harder it would be when he left. "Well, I suppose you'll want to start looking for a new place... unless you'd rather I leave."

Severus' frown grew deeper and he turned to gaze towards Remus. He seemed to stiffen, and it was interesting to watch, only because Remus hadn't realised how relaxed his posture had initially been. Interesting, but worrying all the same. "Right," Severus finally said. He nodded and Remus felt his heart sink into his shoes. "I'll start looking tomorrow."

That tone of voice... Remus couldn't remember the last time he'd heard it and it stung. Severus seemed to pause for a moment, seemingly stuck in his place, but it didn't last long. With a jerky sort of movement, Severus pushed himself off the sofa and headed for his room. Remus stupidly wanted to say something, anything, to make him stop, but the door shut behind Severus before Remus could even form the words.


*****


Severus hadn't known exactly what to expect when the headlines that his work had payed off graced the front page. He had accomplished what he meant to do, and then suddenly he had nothing to occupy his mind with any longer. He no longer had a battle to fight and it felt awkward. Of course, as soon as Remus opened his mouth and made it clear he didn't intend to continue the relationship now that the law had been revoked, Severus suddenly had much to occupy his thoughts. It had surprised him quite a bit, considering how they'd spent the last few months together, and in that surprise, he'd shut down. It was as if a light had gone out.

He knew he should not have been surprised at all. He knew the night he had invited Remus to his bed that he was making a huge mistake, but he was weak, and he'd given into his desires. He was paying for that now, and he should have expected it. What Remus would settle for when he had no other alternative was likely very different from what he actually wanted.

The damage to the house was mostly repaired and Remus moved back to his own bedroom. Severus found he was having trouble sleeping again for the first time since the war had ended. Even in his little cell, he'd slept better than he was now.

The Ministry may have released Severus, and every one else that had been affected by the marriage law, but the Ministry was still attempting to control their lives. In the old law's place came a series of new ones regarding what witches and wizards that bore the title "undesirable" or "undefinable" were and were not allowed to do on their own, without Ministry "aid." Relocating had become a task that Severus was not allowed to do on his own, which only made matters worse, as the following weeks seemed almost unbearable. The house felt cold and silent.

The Ministry was swamped, overloaded, and they were dealing with the great number of requests that the marriage bonds be broken as effectively as they seemed to handle everything, with all the grace, calm, and civility of your average troll. Severus had not heard a word about his relocation request, but Cornfoot contacted them after about two weeks had passed about the request to dispel the magical bond between them.

The house was almost chillingly still the morning Cornfoot was due to come and perform the spell. It was worse than it had been the day Cornfoot had come to cast the initial spell, because at least that day they had been talking to one another. He was not talking to Remus, however. Or was it that Remus wasn't talking to him? Either. Both. They didn't even share meals any longer, but their paths crossed now and again.

Severus heard the knock at the door from his room, but he didn't move to get it. Time seemed to stand still as he listened for Remus. He had just been in the kitchen. Severus had heard him, and yet there was no sound now. There was another knock, and Severus finally pushed out of his chair and went to the door.

"Hello, Severus," Cornfoot greeted, a little too happily, and Severus felt the shorter man brush past him into the sitting room. He turned and followed his movements before shutting the door.

"Where's Remus?"

"I don't kn--"

"I'm here." There was another form moving in the room now, and Severus couldn't help but notice the pace of movement was slow, almost sedated.

It didn't stop him from stepping forward anyway and lifting his hand. "Let's get this done," he said tersely. If this was going to happen, he wanted it over as quickly as possible.

For a moment, he wondered if he'd misjudged how close Remus was, because Remus did not take his hand in return as soon as he'd expected it... but after what seemed like a lifetime, warm fingers closed over his and Severus had the sudden urge to squeeze them and pull Remus against him. He battered the idea down.

Cornfoot seemed to hesitate, too, and Severus couldn't help but notice he was unusually quiet. "Ready?" His voice was directed at Remus, and Remus must have nodded, because shortly after the tip of Cornfoot's wand was against Severus' hand.

Spells and their counter spells rarely seemed true opposites in nature most of the time, but it was strange how this one was. The original spell had sounded almost lyrical, but the string of words coming out of Cornfoot's mouth now was almost grating. It seemed to sweep through Severus, an almost sucking feeling that moved from the center of his body out, surfacing on his skin. His skin prickled and all the sensation started racing to his hand where it seemed to force his fingers from Remus'.

Remus' fingers tried to cling at the last second, squeezing his own tightly, the last of their magical bond fighting, and then Remus' hand was gone. No one spoke for a long moment, but Cornfoot's shadow bounced slightly to Severus' left, and then his voice pierced the silence. "Must be off then. You've created quite a deal of work for me Severus."

"Mister Snape, if you will," Severus replied. He listened to Cornfoot's footfall towards the door, then it clicked open and shut. Severus didn't move, but he watched Remus' form. He couldn't tell what Remus was doing, but he didn't dare ask. "One down and one to go. I supposed that's something," he said. It was probably the first thing he'd said to Remus since Remus had ended their relationship. Remus made a small noise that Severus couldn't quite read.

Fine. They could continue to not speak.

Severus turned and started to walk towards his room, and he heard Remus settle heavily on the sofa behind him. He had his bedroom door half shut when another noise caught his attention. Remus sniffed and drew a ragged breath, and then let out an almost silent sob. Severus froze, chest clenching painfully. Remus couldn't be crying... but then Severus heard the sound again, this time softer, like Remus was trying to stifle it.

Severus didn't understand. He couldn't process what was happening, and his first instinct was to flee, to step into his room, shut the door behind him and pretend he hadn't heard any of it... but he couldn't. After a few moment of listening, trying to gather something from the thoughts spinning in his head that would explain what was happening reasonably, Severus turned back around and walked into the room, cautiously moving as if every step might shatter the moment.

He came to a stop near the sofa. He didn't have to announce his presence. He could tell by the way Remus was sniffing harder now and trying to stop the erratic breathing that Remus saw him.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Severus." Remus sounded as if it was painful to speak, and when he spoke again it was almost inaudible. "I just kept hoping you would change your mind."

It didn't make any sense. Change his mind?

Remus stood and started to walk away and Severus stepped forward, reached out to him and tried to grab his wrist, but he missed. His fingers caught fabric, however, and he curled them tightly to keep Remus in place. Remus gasped softly, and his breath sped again, but otherwise he made no further move to pull away or come near.

Severus was rooted to the spot himself, as a whirl of thought seemed intent on shaking every last bit of reason out of him. He didn't even know why he had lunged for Remus just then, except maybe that he was confused about what had just happened, and he didn't want Remus to leave him confused. He hadn't even realised he'd done it until it was too late, and he wasn't about to take it back, in spite of how out of place it felt.

Change his mind? About what had just happened? It was the only conclusion that Severus could draw, and yet it still made very little sense. Remus had wanted to move on. He'd suggested it. But Severus' mind kept slipping back to the way Remus' fingers had clamped down at the last second when Cornfoot was performing the spell, and before he could stop it, the words were out of his mouth. "You were trying to hold on." It wasn't really a question, though it was. "That wasn't the bond. That was you," he whispered.

Remus' breath caught, and Severus felt a little tug at the fabric, as if Remus were pulling away, but he held it tighter. "I it was," Remus admitted, the whisper sending a thrill through Severus.

"Why did you tell me to leave?" Severus asked, his voice an urgent whisper to quell the clamor of questions in his head.

"I didn't. I didn't." And now Remus' voice, still soft, sounded just as urgent as his own thoughts had grown, and the tension in the fabric he was holding loosened and Remus moved closer. "I didn't want you to leave, I expected you You were fighting that law so hard."

And now Severus understood, and the noise in his head stopped. He closed his eyes, wishing the tension in his body would uncoil, wanting badly to pull Remus to him, but he didn't know if it was too much too soon after the last few weeks. "I suppose I've grown used to fighting other people's battles for them. I didn't stop when my motives changed," he said in reply.

Remus' lips were on him so fast it stole his breath, and then fingers were in his hair, and all he could do was pull Remus against him. He'd missed the feeling of Remus, the whisper of breath against his cheek as Remus kissed him, the way Remus wanted him so much he trembled a little when he held him. Remus was planting small butterfly kisses over his lips and chin and cheek, and the light that had gone out a few weeks prior switched back on, even though Severus could taste tears on his lips.

Remus pulled back barely, his erratic breathing still somewhere between excitement and pain, and Severus couldn't help but wonder at what they'd just thrown away out of simple miscommunication. "What now?" he whispered, as Remus' nose brushed his lightly.

Remus exhaled heavily and went silent, drawing a new breath in slowly, as if steadying himself. Severus couldn't help but still. It seemed like ages before Remus spoke. "Tea?" he suggested, voice cracking lightly.

Tea. Severus closed his eyes, couldn't help but snort, then leaned up and pressed his lips against Remus' again.