Since the confrontation with Jason, things have started to coalesce and settle a little more for Jon. He’s started going to see Dr. Gillespie alone on Fridays, though Simon still meets him for their lunch routine in one of the Establishment restaurants, always comfort food and handfeeding and sometimes sex to go with it. He’s reported the abuse to the Establishment, and been assured that they’re following up on it. Though he knows how helpless Simon felt, not being able to confront Jason directly, he is starting to feel that he’s genuinely doing a good job for Simon, that he’s what Simon needs. One of these days he’s definitely going to implement his and Jesse’s plan for “something special,” but for now, it’s nice to just relax and be whatever his Sir needs at the moment.
Tonight they’re alone in the house with the pets, Thandie having plans for the evening, and Jon’s curled up on a cushion at Simon’s feet, practically purring as Simon strokes his hair. “Mmm. Sir.”
“Hmm?” Simon asks, looking up from his book.
“Oh,” Jon says quietly, smiling. “Nothing, I just... that feels really nice, Sir. Sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
Simon keeps stroking. “It’s all right. What’s on your mind?”
“Nothing.” Jon smiles. “Just... I’m really glad about how things are going. With us.”
“So am I,” Simon murmurs. He beckons for Jon to come up into his lap. “I’m so proud of you.”
Jon grins at the praise and the invitation, and immediately climbs up onto the sofa, curling up mostly in Simon’s lap. “Thank you, Sir.”
Simon nuzzles Jon’s neck. “It’s true. This hasn’t been easy for you, and you haven’t given up. That takes balls.”
“Not just the Jason stuff, though. I’m glad about how things have been going with you,” Jon says, resting his hand on Simon’s chest. “I love you.”
Simon takes that hand up and kisses the fingers. "I love you too. This has been so much better than I'd ever thought I could have."
"For you, too?" Jon grins. "I guess it's easy to forget, that I'm what you wanted, too, because you're so much what I wanted it's like a great big present just for me."
Simon smiles and kisses him. "Well, don't forget it. You're the most important thing in my life, you know. Well, you're not a thing, but you know what I mean."
"No, I know," Jon says softly. "And I know that. I just... it's funny to think that I might be, you know, the thing that you were looking for in the same way that you're that for me."
"No 'might be' about it," Simon replies firmly. "You are what I was looking for, even when I wasn't aware that I was looking." He kisses Jon again. "And I intend to keep you."
"Good," Jon smiles, nuzzling his Sir's lips with his own. "I want to be kept."
Simon nuzzles Jon's ear. "How was your latest session? We haven't had a chance to really talk about it."
"With Dr. Gillespie? Good. We talked about control and stuff."
Simon rubs Jon's back. "I'm glad it went well." He doesn't push Jon to tell him about his sessions; it's up to Jon whether he wants to share. But he does like to know whether they're going well. "She's a good doctor."
Jon nods, making a small affirmative sound at the comforting touch. "She's patient. She asked me about my house when I lived in San Francisco, about my room, how I organized things... about my art. We talked about Mom a little." He takes one of Simon's hands, tracing the lines on Simon's palm with his index finger. "I guess... I can be a bit at loose ends if I don't have some structure imposed on me. Rules, service tasks, stuff like that, it's... part of how I bring everything into balance, but it's hard to exert that kind of control over myself without help. I think that it's part of why it's hard for me to see your house as being our space, as being mine and yours, because if it's your house then I'm yours, then I'm sort of your kept boy, and I know I have these tasks and it keeps me grounded. And maybe I'm a little afraid that if I let go of the idea that you might let me go at any time, I'll spin out of control, because I don't have those constraints, like you might start seeing me as less a boy and more just a partner, and then ironically you won't love me like you do now." He smiles a little, kisses Simon's throat. "It's not logical, Sir, I know."
Simon kisses Jon softly. "But logically, you do know that you can be my partner and my boy both, right? Believe me, I would never want you to stop being my boy." He rubs Jon's back. "I'm glad you're figuring these things out, and thank you for telling me. It helps me know how to help you." He thinks a moment. "Would it help you if I took a more active role in how you care for the house? Maybe made lists or something?"
"Well... I don't think so. I mean I like that I have my things that I do, sorting the mail and cooking and organizing things, that's all good. I guess I just don't... want you to start saying 'oh, you don't have to do that' as time goes on. Even if you think of it as kind of being my house too, I mean, I want you to still have me doing things for you."
"Of course," Simon agrees. "I like having you doing things for me and looking after the house. But it is your house too, baby boy. I want you to understand that. It's our home together, and you're the one who keeps it running."
Jon nods. "I know that's how you see it. And I'm getting there," he offers, gently rubbing Simon's chest with his palm. "That's where I am right now."
"I know." Simon nuzzles into Jon's neck. "Mm, you smell good."
"That's my line," Jon grins, tilting his head to the side to give Simon room.
Simon nips Jon's neck, chuckling softly. "Both our lines, I suppose."
"Mm, that feels nice, Sir," Jon smiles, shifting a little.
Simon nips again, sucking on the spot. "Mm, does it?"
"Yes, Sir," Jon murmurs, closing his eyes and relaxing into Simon's arms.
"Good." Simon nibbles some more, leaving several pretty little marks. One hand slips between Jon's thighs to give him something to think about.
"Sir," Jon moans, his hips just barely pressing up, not wanting Simon to think he's being bossy. In truth, he loves just being touched like this, at Simon's pace. "Please."
"Please what, baby boy?" Simon murmurs into Jon's neck. "You can always ask me for anything - just know that I may or may not give it to you."
"I know, I just.... please don't stop touching me, Sir. It feels good when you touch me."
"I can definitely do that," Simon murmurs, rubbing slowly. "Has Dr. Gillespie helped you feel better about some of the things you want?"
Jon nods. "Some," he agrees, eyes still closed. "I think... I feel better now about having preferences."
"That's terrific." Simon keeps rubbing. "You have nothing to be ashamed of about the things you want. Any of them."
Jon moans, low in his throat, and nods. "I know, Sir. It feels more true the more time goes by. You make naughty things feel so good, too," he adds quietly, with a little smile.
"Oh?" Simon bites Jon's ear gently. "What sort of naughty things?"
"Well, like... when you let me get my tongue all over your balls, and when you lick my asshole, stuff like that. It doesn't feel degrading, it's just... really good. I like getting messy together."
"Mm." Simon pauses, then asks, "Have you begun to realize that what Jason did to you was very wrong? When you told him your fantasy about being pissed on, and he used it to humiliate you?"
Jon blushes at that specific fantasy, but he nods. "I know. He's... hateful. It was good that Thandie wasn't freaked out by it. He started to tell her that, and it was such a big fear of mine that she'd find out something like that, but I think she knew what he was going to say and she wasn't weirded out at all."
"Of course not. She cares about you. Not to mention, she knows that plenty of kinky people are into it, anyway. Somehow Jason missed that memo. I'd love to introduce him to a sub I had for a while - we never tried piss play, but he got into it later. He was built like a tank. I'd like to see Jason try to pull that shit on him."
Jon giggles just a little at the image, and also of the image of Simon with someone even bigger than himself. He opens his eyes and arches like a cat, pushing his dick gently against Simon's palm. "I'd like to see that too, Sir."
"Not," Simon adds, "that you're in any way to blame for not fighting back. But I'd still love to see it." He kisses Jon's neck.
"Yeah," Jon agrees. "Sometimes I want to hit him. But I'd rather just be safe, and here," he explains, stroking everywhere on Simon's body that he can reach.
Simon holds him closer, nuzzling his hair. "I'm glad you feel safe with me."
"Safer than anywhere," Jon smiles, nudging under Simon's arm with his nose to make a point. "I'm just... I'm yours, Sir. I'm so proud to be yours."
"I'm proud to own you," Simon replies, unbuttoning his shirt in case Jon wants to burrow in earnest.
Jon grins and ducks his head a little, but he doesn't quite burrow, instead licking at Simon's chest with little kitten-licks. Okay, he's horny, and he doesn't mind if Sir knows it.
"Mm, something you want, baby boy?" Simon asks, stroking his hair.
"Sex?" Jon giggles. "I'm not picky."
Simon grins. "I want you to tell me something new you want." He kisses Jon deeply, then murmurs against his lips, "Something you've been afraid to ask for."
"Oh," Jon says quietly, blushing. "Okay."
Simon kisses Jon's neck, voice gentle. "What do you want, baby boy?"
"Um. Well, you mentioned... pissing on me. And we haven't tried it yet. But I've thought about it, after that boy, the last one we saw in the demo," Jon admits, blushing profusely.
"Do you think you'd like to try it?" Simon asks, rubbing his back.
Jon just nods, leaning into that comforting touch and nuzzling Simon's neck a bit. "Please, Sir. If it's okay."
"It would be more than okay," Simon replies. "Do you want to do it now, or do you need some time to get ready for it?"
"Well... how do I get ready? I don't really... I mean I've never done it this way before. I've never asked for it."
"I meant prepare for it mentally, is all. Do you think you're ready now?"
"Um, yeah, but do you need to pee?" Jon laughs, kissing him.
Simon laughs too. "Not yet, but I am thirsty, so I'll drink a nice lot of water. Besides, we want to make sure I've drunk plenty so that it's diluted."
Jon nods, blushing again when he thinks about the specifics. "And will you hold my head, please, like that Sir did when we watched?" He remembers how rapturous that boy looked, receiving his Sir's piss as if it were a benediction, and he feels hot all over.
"Absolutely." Simon kisses Jon's forehead. "Do you want me to stay below the neck or do it the way that Sir did?"
"Um... you can do it like that, I mean, if that doesn't gross you out."
"What matters is whether it's what you want," Simon replies. "If it is, then no, it won't gross me out."
"Okay," Jon smiles, nuzzling Simon's hand. "I want that then, please. Not in my mouth, but on my face."
Simon kisses him gently. "All right. That's what we'll do." He strokes Jon's hair. "I need to drink some water," he says with a little grin. "Do you want to go upstairs and get yourself ready?"
"Okay," Jon agrees, grinning. "Meet you in the guest bathroom?" he suggests. "That shower's probably better, with the, um, wall," he blushes.
Simon nods and kisses him one more time before setting him on his feet and standing up. "Give me a few minutes." Thankfully, he hasn't gone in a while and it won't take much for him to be ready.
"Okay," Jon agrees, sneaking one more kiss before he heads for the stairs. He takes his time once he's there, sitting naked on the bed with his knees tucked up and his eyes closed and thinking about the demonstration they'd witnessed. It's that one couple that he focuses his thoughts on, the way the Sir was so loving and at the same time so possessive, the act of claiming evident even as the cheerful boy begged and pleaded for it. He wants to feel Simon's fingers at the base of his skull, cradling his head and neck, the other hand on his dick as he gives Jon his piss. It's a dirty thought, and he blushes even now, thinking about it, but it's not shame that he's feeling. When a sufficient amount of time has passed, he heads into the guest room, makes sure there's soap in the shower and towels set out, and then kneels on the bathmat to wait, hands behind his back.
Simon takes a few minutes to drink his water, thinking about what they're about to do. He's never really wanted to do this before, though not because he thinks it's dirty; it's just never really crossed his mind as something he personally wants. The way Jon wants it though, and the fact that Jon trusts him with it...that makes a big difference, and as he sets his glass in the sink and heads for the stairs, he finds that his nerves are humming in anticipation.
Jon's ready for him in the guest bathroom, so beautiful in his submission that Simon just has to bend and tip Jon's face up to his for a kiss. "When you're ready, get in the tub. You can put a towel under your knees if you like."
"I don't want to get a towel dirty," Jon says, eagerly accepting the kiss and then climbing into the tub, pushing the glass shower door open and kneeling by the taps.
"We do have a washing machine," Simon teases. He ponders a moment, then says, "Probably this would be easiest if I strip down and get in the tub with you, what do you think?"
Jon nods. "If you get naked and stand here," he says, pointing at the space in front of him, and it's obvious he's thought this through once or twice. "I think that would be good." It's getting practical, now, and he tries to re-access his sexy thoughts, stay in the place he wants to be for this.
Simon strips quickly and steps into the tub in front of Jon. He tips Jon's chin up again and smiles down at him as he takes his cock in hand. "I love you," he says quietly. He lets go of Jon's face and takes a deep breath. It takes a moment to get past the ingrained taboo of pissing somewhere other than the toilet, but then it's coming, and he watches, fascinated, as his piss cascades over his boy's skin. After a moment, he remembers to move it upward, going slowly to give Jon plenty of time to prepare before letting it rain onto his hair and face.
It's startling, at first, feeling the warm spray on his chest, moving up, and Jon gasps before he remembers to close his mouth and eyes, groping blindly for the hand that isn't holding Simon's cock and tugging it to his head. He needs that, needs Sir holding him, the affection to remind him that this isn't like before, not at all.
Simon cups the back of Jon's head, thumb rubbing gently as he continues letting go. He's watching Jon carefully, making sure he's still okay with this, and the expression on Jon's face is beyond beautiful. "Baby boy," he whispers. "My boy. Mine." He finishes and reaches for the taps - he wants to kiss Jon, and while he doesn't think he'd mind doing it before Jon's mouth is rinsed off, Jon might not want to.
Jon whimpers a little, feeling the shower start to rain down on him, and leans back after a moment to where he can open his eyes and see Simon.
Simon bends and kisses him. "You are so beautiful," he murmurs, petting Jon's hair. "My boy."
"Thank you, Sir," Jon murmurs, nuzzling into Simon's hand.
Simon picks up the shampoo. "Close your eyes, baby boy." He squirts some into his hand and begins washing Jon's hair gently. "I know you like to do this for me, but this time I want to take care of you."
"Oh. Okay," Jon agrees, closing his eyes and leaning towards Simon, loosely wrapping his arm around Simon's calf and nuzzling it.
Simon pets Jon's head, then tugs him gently. "Come up here so I can wash you, baby boy."
"Okay, Sir," Jon murmurs, carefully getting to his feet in the tub and standing in front of Simon.
Simon washes him thoroughly but quickly, then kisses him. "What does my boy need now?" he asks, thumbs stroking Jon's face as he looks up into his eyes.
Jon bites his lip. "You, please, Sir," he says quietly. He's not really sure how to sort out what just happened in his head, not sure how Simon felt about it.
Simon kisses him again and turns off the water, then reaches for a towel. "What do you need from me?" he asks, drying Jon gently. "I can tell that you need something important."
"I'm sorry, Sir, I just... I'm trying to understand," Jon admits, sliding his arms around Simon's waist and resting his head on Simon's shoulder. "I need... to be close to you."
Simon nods. "All right. Let's go to bed, hmm?" He all but carries Jon to bed, tucking him in and sliding in beside him. "C'mere," he says, holding out his arms for Jon.
"Thank you, Sir," Jon murmurs. "I just... I really need to be yours right now," he admits, not even sure whether that makes sense.
Simon nuzzles Jon's hair. "Oh, baby boy, you are mine. You were born to be mine. And you will always, always be mine." For once, Simon doesn't add the qualifier of "unless you change your mind". He knows that Jon doesn't need to hear that right now.
Jon nods and pushes his face into Simon's neck, hugging him hard. "I think... maybe I wasn't sure how you felt about what just happened," he admits quietly, after a minute. "I just want... I want you to mark me, I want you to claim me, I want to be yours and..." he trails off, not sure what he's getting at.
Simon rubs Jon's back. "I'm not sure how I feel about it either," he confesses. "I know that whatever I feel, it's good. There's nothing to worry about on that score, I promise." He kisses Jon's temple. "I do...I do feel like you're that much more mine."
"Okay," Jon murmurs. "I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me."
"There's nothing at all wrong with you. You're processing your feelings about this, and so am I. That's all." Simon kisses Jon. "Was it different from what you were expecting?"
"I guess... maybe I put too much significance on it? When you were talking about spirituality, and connection, I guess I've been craving that. And things have shifted in our relationship since we've both fallen in love with Thandie, and she's incredible, but I just... I need so badly to be yours, to feel taken..."
"And you didn't feel that?" Simon asks, concerned that Jon's disappointed.
"It's not... I mean I'm not saying..." Jon frowns, frustrated by his inability to reassure Simon. "It was good, but I think maybe I was unsure about how you felt about it, and I don't know, maybe it's the kind of thing you have to do a few times before it's really... I'm not sure," Jon sighs.
Simon smiles and kisses his hair. "We can certainly do it again, if you want. I suppose that not everything can live up to the fantasy the first time you do it." He rubs Jon's back. "What else are you feeling?"
"I just... I need you to tell me what to do and I need to feel you wanting me and I need not to be responsible for having control right now," Jon blurts out all in one rush of words. "I need to be overpowered," he adds, quietly. "My mind... needs to be quieter."
Simon rolls Jon underneath him and kisses him hard. "I can do that." He gets up and returns with a set of cuffs and a blindfold - it's just a moment's work to fasten Jon's wrists together and then to the headboard, and another to get the blindfold on. "I can definitely do that." The primitive surge of ownership that rises in him is fueled in no small part by the marking, and he slides down to nip at Jon's skin and suck up purple marks.
It's nothing short of pure, gloriously sweet relief when Simon holds him down, then ties him up, and Jon feels the tension of uncertainty ebb away, his muscles starting to relax. His sight cut off, there are no cues to let him know that the first bite is coming, and so it's just a bare hint of Simon's warm breath on his skin before he's crying out and jerking under Simon’s teeth.
"Pretty boy," Simon mutters thickly. He sucks one nipple, then bites it, drawing it up into his mouth. "So good for me, aren't you?" He bites just under that nipple, then lower, sucking hard. "So good I think I might need to paddle you."
"Thank you, Sir," Jon mumbles, shivering as Simon bites. It's not just the offer, but the way Simon says it, and the way his mind's finally starting to calm.
Simon rolls him over, pausing to bite one ass cheek. He gets up and gets a heavy, leather-wrapped paddle. "I want to hear you," he says, smacking the paddle against his hand. "I don't care if you count, or thank me, or just yell, but I want to hear you." He lifts the paddle and brings it down on Jon's ass, sighing at the sharp snap of leather meeting flesh and the way Jon's skin almost immediately starts reddening.
Jon's hands tense at the first smack, his head turning to the side as if to look for Simon, even though his vision is fully blocked. He cries out, wordlessly at first, then a string of "Sir," feeling his ass start to warm in between the sharp blows. He lets his mind calm, his focus narrow, centered on his trust for Simon and his need to just be taken.
"Oh, good boy," Simon says, voice calm and level. "Your skin's all lovely and red. I think I may just have to play with your ass when I'm done paddling you."
Jon's breath hitches sharper at that promise, and his tilts his head again, whimpering. "Please, Sir? Please."
Simon grins ferally. "Five more." He delivers the five blows quickly, then tosses the paddle aside and kneels, straddling Jon's legs. He rubs and pinches Jon's ass for a moment, then leans down and bites. "Sweet little ass. Going to fuck you in just a moment, you know." He parts Jon's cheeks and laps at his hole. "Maybe just fuck you with nothing but spit for lube."
Jon moans as Simon's tongue slides against him, the pinches and rubs of his reddened skin keeping thoughts from creeping in, letting him give over to the sensations. "Sir..."
Simon growls and keeps licking; his chin is a little stubbly this late in the day and he rubs it over Jon's skin as his mouth works. Jon's responses are beautiful, and before long he can't hold back anymore. He gives one last, long stroke of his tongue, then slides up Jon's back, sliding his cock along Jon's cleft. "D'you want it, baby boy?" he murmurs, biting the edge of Jon's ear. "Want me to fuck you?"
"Please!" Jon gasps, his muscles twitching at the bite and trembling faintly. All the stimulation, without the benefit of his sense of sight, has him almost high on excitement. As Simon's cock strokes where his wet tongue has just been, Jon bears down, trying to show Simon how much he wants it. "Now now now," he begs, forehead pressed to the pillow.
Simon rubs some spit along his cock, then starts pressing in, slow and careful to make up for the lack of prep. "Good," he groans. "So fucking good."
"Sir," Jon moans, long and low, feeling the friction between his skin and Simon's cock. With a little persistence, though, he's pushing deep inside, and Jon starts an unbroken chain of sounds into the pillow, clutching his hands together.
Simon groans and bites the back of Jon's neck, taking a moment to savor it once he's deep inside. "Baby boy..." Finally, he begins to move slowly, breath catching at the friction. "Jesus, so good..."
"Yours," Jon mumbles half-audibly, rubbing his face against the pillow. He couldn't come up with the name of the street he lives on right now, and it's blissfully right. "Sir..."
"Mm, I like the way you say that," Simon murmurs, starting to move. Jon's blissfully tight around him, and it makes him want to take this slow and really enjoy it.
Jon just whimpers, letting his breathing even out, consciously relaxing the muscles that have invariably tensed.
"Good boy," Simon murmurs yet again. "Let me hear you, baby boy. Let me hear how I make you feel."
Jon nods frantically and moans, pressing back against Simon. "Please, it's good Sir, don't stop."
"Oh, I don't intend to," Simon murmurs. He begins thrusting faster and deeper, biting the back of Jon's neck again. There's going to be a bruise there, and he's quite proud of that. He reaches down with one hand and begins jerking Jon's cock. "Give it to me, as soon as you can."
Jon whimpers again, nodding and feeling the intensity of everything tonight course through his body. The bite is raw pain, contrasted with the pleasure of Simon's hand, and he's gone on the wave of sensations. A minute passes, and then his orgasm blindsides him, crying out, rocking between Simon's hand and his cock.
Simon groans and thrusts a few more times before coming hard. "Love you, baby boy," he gasps, panting. "Mine. All mine."
Jon just nods and tucks his face into Simon's neck, finding his way by touch and scent. The feeling of being owned calms him down, and his breathing slows as he snuggles into Simon.