Current mood:

E-V-O-L

this refers to my period. TMI warnings apply.
For anybody who doesn't know this: pads that have wings on them often have a little piece of paper that connects the two (while still in the wrapper). It keeps the wings folded over and all that. You peel it off and throw it away.

Usually the paper is blank, or sometimes it's got the company logo on it. Today, though. Today I had a message on mine.

In a swoopy little italic font, bright green lettering:

Have a Happy Period.
And then in case you missed it, they repeat it in French.
Bonne et heureuse semaine.
I feel I need to vent about this.

Dear fucking dipshit at the Always company who had this insanely stupid idea and is probably a man:

I do not need inspirational messages on my pads. They're not fortune cookies, for fuck's sake.

Furthermore, as I am undergoing monsoon-like flooding in my nether regions, with some associated clotting, cramping and general crabbiness, I suppose now would be a good time for me to inform you that

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A "HAPPY PERIOD."

Not even the "oh thank fuck I'm not pregnant" ones really count as happy. You're relieved for ten minutes and then it's back to "Damn, this fucking sucks."

I promise you, if I open a pad and a little sticky piece of paper says "Smile! You're menstruating!" - I will come and find you. There will be arson involved.

No love,
-Slackerbitch