Snarl - I recant.

About I recant.

Previous Entry I recant. Mar. 20th, 2004 @ 09:34 am Next Entry
Once upon a time, I wrote a bitchy little list about things I hated in mainstream yaoi 'fic. In it was the self-lubricating anus, and general lack of buttsex clue.

After all, you see, I'd been fucked up the butt, and quite enjoyed it, and it sure didn't work like that for me. All this self-lubricating anus stuff was not only factually wrong, but it sort of killed the eroticism for me, the bits that made buttsex buttsex: after all, if I wanted to have sex with an orifice just like my vagina, I'd... have vaginal sex. Hence, I began to assume that self-lubricating anii were simply code for vaginas, written by dumb fangirls who have problems identifying with characters of their own gender due to inborn misogyny.

I still mostly believe that.

However, now that I have gotten in (heh heh heh) more to the other side of the real life buttsex, well... I'll just C&P what I said in this thread here:


You've never had a close encounter with a yuri fanboy.

You assume this why?

Yaoi fangirls have brought us the self-lubricating anii. Yuri fanboys have brought us penetrative breast sex, with a dickgirl shoving a penis into the breast through the nipple. (Well, at least the yaoi fangirls have a good chance of eventually having sex.)

Yeah, and inexperienced virgin het writers have brought us women giving birth through their butt, pleasurable hymen-tearing, and synchronous orgasms from missionary position sex.

Your point was what, again?

Virgins who've never had sex ed and aren't too smart tend to write stupid porn. Has nothing to do with their, uh, "porn gender" per se.

Also, I would like to state for the record (since my opinion has changed over time, as I once thought them laughable, code for vaginas, and missing the point of buttsex), as a dildo-packing domme who fucks both men and women up the butt with same and has to deal with the occasional cleanliness issue and a prohibitive lube budget, I WOULD KILL FOR SELF-LUBRICATING, ENDLESSLY-STRETCHING, MANCLIT-CONTAINING, NO-CONNECTION-TO-DEFECTATION ANII IN EVERY BUTT IN THE WORLD.

So, you know, it's entirely possibly that maybe, JUST MAYBE, some of the yaoi fangirls actually know what they're talking about and are just giving us their fantasies.

Now, granted, I really doubt it.

But amongst the hordes, I'm sure there are one or two with high cash expenditures on lube who'd really rather spend that $50 for two pump bottles of Maximus and a bunch of trick-in-a-bottle samples on, you know, a nice new cock or harness or vibe or a new pair of restraints or a flogger or cane or, you know, SOME kind of sex toy that KEEPS ITS VALUE.

Gosh. Was that TMI?


250ML Maximus lube pump bottle, Good Vibrations: $15.00
Black leather O-ring harness, Mr. S: $49.95
Tantus "Feeldoe" double-dildo, Madame S: $70.00
18oz ForPlay Adult Toy Cleanser, Blowfish: $13.95
Box of Trojan-ENZ condoms, Wal-Mart: $12.95
Box of $100 black dragon latex gloves, sized medium, Blowfish: $13.95
The ultimate point of reference/place of smackdown when it come to the writing of buttsex: Priceless.

Some things in life are priceless. For everything else, there's my boyfriend.
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