|
Apr. 16th, 2004 @ 04:15 pm 
|
|---|
Dear Slash-Fandom-at-Large:
"Sub" is only used as an indicator of a person's relationship status with someone else in the heterosexual/pansexual contingent of SM players, and even then almost NEVER by people who are lifestyle/hardcore players of the type who have contracts, collars, and complicated protocols - or at least, if they use it, it's as an adjuct to other terms. It's basically an identity term, used for people (mostly women, for various feminist reasons) who enjoy submitting sexually, see this as a part of themselves, but are essentially keeping dominion over their own sexuality. Yes, people sometimes use the phrase "I'm so and so's sub", but it's almost exclusively in heterosexual or mostly heterosexual circles, and usually in a poly/switchy/multiple-relationships-other-than-primary context. If you identify as a "sub", you're basically saying you're in some way, shape or form a free agent in possession of your own submission, even if at the moment you're one with one dom who may also be your master. If the contract is torn up, the collar's unlocked, and you go through the SM equivalent of a messy divorce and never talk to the guy again, you're still a sub if you say you are. You're not a slave, or boy, or retainer, or whatever the heck you were in the contract, but if you still like submitting sexually, haven't turned switch, and want to take ownership of that term, you're still a sub. There's a reason they aren't called "sub contracts", people.
The gay male SM scene doesn't much use the term, and it certainly didn't twenty years ago. A man in a long-term, collared relationship to another man, if they're in the exclusively gay ale scene, may be a slave, may be a boy (and there are a multitude of meanings for that term), or he may be the goddamn family dog, but he's almost definitely not a sub.
If you're going to pride yourself on writing "accurate" and "realistic" "BDSM", and wank about how slash is "gay positive" or "subversive" on top of that, DO YOUR FUCKING RESEARCH and use the terms correctly. The gay male leather scene is not the pansexual BDSM scene, is not the straight D/s scene, is not the domestic discipline scene, is not the leatherdyke scene, and so on.
A subscription to Mr. S Dungeon is $7 a month, and a worthwhile resource if you don't actually live near a community of real, live gay leathermen who're nice enough to let you respectfully hang around the edges of their community.
In other words: if you're the kind of slash author who hates yaoi for its inauthenticity and not-real-man-ness, and pride yourself on using "real" terms like "BDSM", "safewords", and "sub" in the context of supposedly old school (read: pre-internet) gay male SM, BITCH DON'T FRONT.
love,
Snarl
P.S. Leo McGarry? NOT A TOP. |
Hi. I stumbled over this while reading the friends list of F_W. I'm a writer of at PaperUmbrella and Metropolis, which is a Real Person Slash role-play game with BDSM shadings. Mixed Drinks is our meta community. I know very little about BDSM and have actively tried to research it using the web. Sometimes without the best success, and I'm sure you'll see a million things odd with the scenes written. Would you mind very much if I occassionally asked you questions? Or, if you have pointers (things you see written wrong repeatedly, like this rant about titles) you'd love to share, you could join M_D and offer posts as a sort of live-from-the-trenches essays.
I'm sure this is all horribly forward and insulting, and I'm sorry. Your post just grabbed my attention.
![[User Picture Icon]](http://www.journalfen.net/userpic/35189/2843) |
| From: | ![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/userinfo.gif) snarl |
|---|
| Date: |
April 20th, 2004 05:32 am (UTC) |
|---|
|
|
|
|
(Link) |
|
I wouldn't mind, although keep in mind - I'm a bisexual biofemme in a (only very nominally) heterosexual relationship, and the two biggest ties I have to the broader BDSM community are a) a teeny-tiny subection of my local leatherdyke scene, and b) the basically het-oriented pansexual activist/educator contingent. I only hang out on the very fringes of the gay leather scene (although I have some friends in it), and I don't really know anyone who's in lifestyle D/s scene in any way. So it's debatable how helpful I'd be about the really niggling details of protocol and social interaction, although for the most part I can give as good technical advice as anyone else in the scene who's not a medical professional. So.
(Such as: don't do needleplay on an uncircumsized male prone to blood blisters. ... um, sorry for the TMI.)
And, heh, forward? :) What an awesomely Vicky construction! I like how you think. But no, hey, as (psuedo) public as my rants are, I don't mind.
| From: | (Anonymous) |
|---|
| Date: |
January 7th, 2005 03:06 pm (UTC) |
|---|
|
|
phentermine
|
(Link) |
|
Please check the pages about phentermine (http://www.canadianlabels.net/) phentermine http://www.canadianlabels.net/ (http://www.canadianlabels.net/)
online poker (http://www.8gold.com/) online poker http://www.8gold.com/ (http://www.8gold.com/)
viagra (http://www.cheapest-viagra-on-line.co.uk/) viagra http://www.cheapest-viagra-on-line.co.uk/ (http://www.cheapest-viagra-on-line.co.uk/)
debt consolidation (http://www.debt-help-bill-consolidation-elimination.com/) debt consolidation http://www.debt-help-bill-consolidation-elimination.com/ (http://www.debt-help-bill-consolidation-elimination.com/)
online casino (http://www.onlinegamingassociation.com/) online casino http://www.onlinegamingassociation.com/ (http://www.onlinegamingassociation.com/)
casino (http://www.mediavisor.com/) casino http://www.mediavisor.com/ (http://www.mediavisor.com/)
credit cards (http://www.911easymoney.com/) credit cards http://www.911easymoney.com/ (http://www.911easymoney.com/)
online casino (http://www.popwow.com/) online casino http://www.popwow.com/ (http://www.popwow.com/)
poker (http://www.oiline.com/) poker http://www.oiline.com/ (http://www.oiline.com/)
mortgages (http://www.spoodles.com/) mortgages http://www.spoodles.com/ (http://www.spoodles.com/)
loans (http://www.houseofsevengables.com/) loans http://www.houseofsevengables.com/ (http://www.houseofsevengables.com/)
diet pills (http://www.crepesuzette.com/) diet pills http://www.crepesuzette.com/ (http://www.crepesuzette.com/)
debt consolidation (http://www.sportsparent.com/) debt consolidation http://www.sportsparent.com/ (http://www.sportsparent.com/)
payday loans (http://www.instant-quick-money-cash-advance-personal-loans-until-pay-day.com/) payday loans http://www.instant-quick-money-cash-advance-personal-loans-until-pay-day.com/ (http://www.instant-quick-money-cash-advance-personal-loans-until-pay-day.com/)
student loans (http://www.tmsathai.org/) student loans http://www.tmsathai.org/ (http://www.tmsathai.org/)
private mortgages (http://www.stmaryonline.org/) private mortgages http://www.stmaryonline.org/ (http://www.stmaryonline.org/)
personal loans (http://www.flafeber.com/) personal loans http://www.flafeber.com/ (http://www.flafeber.com/)
home loans (http://www.thatwhichis.com/) home loans http://www.thatwhichis.com/ (http://www.thatwhichis.com/)
travel (http://www.condodream.com/) travel http://www.condodream.com/ (http://www.condodream.com/)
hotels (http://www.royalmailhotel.com/) hotels http://www.royalmailhotel.com/ (http://www.royalmailhotel.com/)
mortgage (http://mortgage.top.uaeecommerce.com/) mortgage http://mortgage.top.uaeecommerce.com/ (http://mortgage.top.uaeecommerce.com/)
mortgage rates (http://mortgage-rates.uaeecommerce.com/) mortgage rates http://mortgage-rates.uaeecommerce.com/ (http://mortgage-rates.uaeecommerce.com/)
clonazepam (http://www.uaeecommerce.com/) clonazepam http://www.uaeecommerce.com/ (http://www.uaeecommerce.com/)
diet pills (http://www.newtruths.com/) diet pills http://www.newtruths.com/ (http://www.newtruths.com/)
loans (http://www.fidelityfunding.net/) loans http://www.fidelityfunding.net/ (http://www.fidelityfunding.net/)
... Thanks!!!
|
|