All Sockpuppets have an origin

He/She/It is not that into you
One of my many jobs to put food on the table and sometimes one of the more fun ones is that I "handle" talent at various types of conventions around the country. I'm that shulb that takes money from you and makes sure that you follow the rules. I also make sure that the talent is taken care of which can have its good days and its bad days.

So I have decided to make this where I plan to tell tales of my convention experiences.

After thinking about it long and hard I plan not to name any names on either side of the table just for everyones privacy sake. I'm big into privacy as you might find out if you are reading this.

Here is a letter I would love to hand out to a number of Fans who I have the "joy" to encounter through the years of doing this sort of work.

Dear Fanboy/girl/person of undetermined gender-

I'm sorry to inform you that he/she/it is not that into you as you think. They have a significant other/a hotter fan/a horse that they would rather be seeing right now than you. Shaking your tits/ass/other bodily item in front of them is not going to change their minds. I promise you. Nor am I going to change their minds if you do the same to me. I really don't care how "cute" you are. I just enjoy the show and then have you move along.

Do you know how many little gifts I collect for these people a convention? Do you have a clue that I am the bad cop so the talent can be the good person who has that mean person looking over their shoulder? I talk to my person of the weekend and find out how they want to play things and play by their rules except when that is trumped by my boss' rules.

No they can't take the time for one more picture/signature/moment of their time. They need to eat/take a dump (or whiz)/get to a panel/sleep/get a drink and I will make sure they can do these things.

Also hanging close to us as we eat dinner or get a drink and are obviously trying to take a moment away from the convention doesn't win you any points either but that is another rant.

Sincerely-
The Convention Shlub who takes care of the Talent.