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Below are the most recent 25 friends' journal entries.
| Monday, December 1st, 2008 | ||||||||
|
digitalwave |
8:55a | Still here. Barely... First, the good news. We're up to sixty-seven wish lists published so far over in ![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} wish_list. I just finished updating the Master list so if you'd like to take a look you can find it HERE. It makes me really happy to see the comm so active, spreading a little joy, and helping people connect with one another, is why it's there.Keeping the list updated is about the only fannish thing I've had time for lately; I failed pretty miserably with mini_nanowrimo this year. With everything going on in rl I've had no time for me so that translates into no time to write or do any artwork. Once I've got mom settled for the night, and things have quietened down enough for me to have some time at the computer, I'm just too tired to write. One of the side-effects of a Lupus flare-up is exhaustion and it's been hitting me pretty hard with this one.Plus, mom's sick. She's got a bad respiratory infection which has progressed to just this side of pneumonia. I took her to see her lung doc last week and we've got her on antibiotics and meds to thin out her secretions so the congestion is easier to cough up. Because of her illness she's had several fairly bad bouts with confusion the last couple of weeks. I can get her out of it over the course of the day but it's still pretty terrifying when it happens. Which led right into the other thing; I failed at being strong the other day. I was helping her with her bath and I just started crying. We talked about things and got in some really good hugs but it was still hard. I love my mom so much, she truly has been one of my best friends all of my life. I know she's winding down, that I probably won't have her with me for much longer, and I'm just not ready. She loves this time of year, somehow I'll make sure this is a really good Christmas for her. Between my and mom's illness I've had no time at work lately so things are really tight. Whether I have the energy or not I have to get things posted and sold over the next few weeks just to help us survive. I'm hoping I can get a lot done today if things go okay with mom. Okay, I'm shutting up now so I can go and get her bathed. Thanks for listening. I promise, next time I post will be lighter. It sure helps just knowing that you guys are here to listen, though. More than I can ever say. *hugs* | ||||||
|
amalthia |
2:41a | Merlin and Stargate Atlantis recs plus Doctor Who and Supernatural Vid recs Merlin To Be Known by esohpe (Merlin/Arthur) I LOVED the imagery, the character voices, and the tension had me on the edge of my seat. :) Stargate Atlantis Push Until It Holds by zillah975 (Sheppard/Ronon) I loved the plot, the character voices, and it's really nice to read something with Ronon's pov.Vid Recs Windowsill by sweetestdrain (vid:recs:spn) I loved the song and the story. Don't Lose Yourself by sweetestdrain (vid:recs:doctorwho) I keep coming back and re-watching this vid. I love that it's about Donna, I loved the song choice, and the clips and this was just really sad and bittersweet. | ||||||
|
amalthia |
2:33a | Reading Twilight It's actually rather good. :) I'm only about halfway through but so far I'm enjoying the book a lot more than the movie which actually makes since for me since I love reading more than just about anything else. | ||||||
| Sunday, November 30th, 2008 | ||||||||
|
amalthia |
12:30a | SPN story concept/idea Instead of concentrating on homework I'm trying to figure out what would happen if an Angel's "Grace" was stolen and given to Sam and Dean...if it's possible, would it change them completely? Would they go insane? And what the hell would happen to the Angel who's Grace was stuck in the body of two humans? Also, I can't get this one vid I saw out of my head. So I downloaded the song and am listening to it way too often. | ||||||
| Saturday, November 29th, 2008 | ||||||||
|
poisontaster |
5:34p | Days 27, 28 & Triumphant 29: All Shall Love Me and Despair Nano Goal:
Estimated Story Completion:
Today's word count: 3,148 Current Total Word Count: 50,048 \o/ What's bad: I am SO high right now on actually making goal that I'm having a really difficult time of thinking of anything bad. I suppose the "worst" thing is that 50K later, I'm still only about 2/3 finished with the novel. But as worst things go, I'll definitely take it. I'm also worried--though only slightly, mind you--that there's too much smut. Yeah, I don't know either. I never said my fears are rational. And then, lastly, I'd say I'm worried about audience perception of Matt. I don't think he's unmasculine but I'm worried that not everyone will agree with me. What's good: Matt finally opened up. True, it took a full on emotional breakdown, but the poor boy had it coming. He was holding in a lot more than I thought he was. And I think it really opened him up to think more critically about what happened to him than he did before and recognize that what happened to him wasn't just wrong from a personal perspective, it was wrong, period. I love how what happened to Matt is changing Gabe, too, though he's much less cognizant of his change. Whether he knows it or not, Gabe has already accepted Matt as his mate. And that's kind of awesome. I just have to move Gabe to a place where he can recognize that. Also, I have the best flist. Seriously. Thank you guys so much for being so patient and so supportive--over the last month and for the last few years. You make it worth chewing through the restraint straps, every time. What pleases me: "I don't think you're fragile," Gabe says, pushing his face so close to Matt's that Matt nearly can't see him in the blood-dusk darkness. "Or weak. Or less than a man. It's respect, Matt, and you're goddamn well going to get used to it from me. Understand?" Current Mood:  satisfied | ||||||
|
amalthia |
6:58p | Romance novels Am I the only one that feels like writing slash fan fiction for romance novels? For example, I downloaded Nora Robert's trilogy about 3 friends who unleash a demon when they are like 11 or 10 and all the boys share the same birthday and each book I'm willing to bet is going to be about each of the boys (who are now grown ups) meeting and falling in love with a woman. But I keep thinking why aren't their romance novels but with guys falling in love with each other instead. It's just I'm more interested in the story of the three boys and what they go through than the romance aspect 20 years later. I'm beginning to think if I want to read those types of stories I may have to write them myself. | ||||||
|
amalthia |
3:00a | Supernatural Recs and Supernatural Vid Rec Supernatural One Point Five, Tops by chash (Jared/Jensen) This was fun and I loved the character voices. One in the Same by blue_soaring (Sam/Dean) I loved the imagery, and this was very tense and hot. Never Take Candy From Strangers by leonidasden (Dean/OMC) I really have a thing for evilDean and this one delivered the goods. :) You miss too much these days if you stop and think by xzombiexkittenx (Sam/Dean) I liked the concept. Vids Snow on the Sahara by absrip (vid:recs:spn) (Sam/Dean) INSTANT REC!!! This video blew me away. I LOVED the song, the clip choices and the story it told and the use of outside sources was inspired. I haven't felt this moved by a vid in ages, run don't walk! | ||||||
| Friday, November 28th, 2008 | ||||||||
|
fandom_wank [ wtf ] |
5:49p | "So long, suckers!" Zac, aka Anime News Network's Answerman, has announced his retirement in the form of an epic flounce. As a crusty old douchenozzle myself, I gotta say - I LOL'd. | ||||||
|
amalthia |
3:21a | Supernatural, Merlin, and a Merlin Vid rec Supernatural Go Fish by tahirire (Gen) I liked the character voices and this was a good episode tag. Merlin Who's Counting Anyway? by phantomjam (Merlin/Arthur) INSTANT REC!!! This was incredibly hot and tense and wow I could not stop reading once I started. Got Your Tongue by nightanddaze (Merlin/Arthur) I liked the concept. Words which aren't names by black_eyedgirl (Merlin/Arthur) I liked this. fragment by doompaw (Merlin/Arthur) I liked the writing style and this just worked for me. :) Merlin Vid Rec This is not a Merlin vid. by giandujakiss (vid:recs:merlin) I had a blast watching this vid. The song choice and clips were a perfect match. | ||||||
| Thursday, November 27th, 2008 | ||||||||
|
poisontaster |
12:44p | Day 25 & 26: Leaps and Bounds
Today's word count: 3,883 Current Total Word Count: 46,900 What's bad: Getting Matt to talk is worse than pulling teeth. For someone who's so convinced he's not really a man, he's got that trait down pat. I have set the stage for him to open up beautifully and he wILL NOT TAKE THE OPENING. He's also being a lot more emo than I was expecting, though that's my fault, because if I'd thought it through, I'd have KNOWN this part would hit him hard. I'm also worried I'm not discerning what *I* know about Matt from what Gabriel has/can concluded about Matt enough. It's not a major worry, but it's always a little hard when you know more than your character to not make those big leaps. What's good: Really, those two nitpicks aside, everything is great. I've made really good progress, the flow is not the direction, entirely, that I want, but there is flow. The encounter with Bardou went a hundred times better than I thought it would, hitting both Matt and Gabe in the right emotional centers for the scene to follow. Hopefully. If Matt will just open his goshdarned mouth. I think this scene is going to be more pivotal than I was thinking. I knew it was important, but I don't think I realized quite how much; the point where they're opening themselves to the reality of more than just sex, instead of just the possibility of more. What pleases me: "Ah. Well." Bardou pauses, a vaguely puzzled expression on his face as if his mental script doesn't have instructions on how to proceed from here. Then, like a punch card music box starting over, he straightens and brightens. "Well! It's good to see you, Matt. Good to see Martin letting you take on more responsibility. It's past time, if you ask me; you're not a pup, to be kept at your mother's heels. I used to wonder what Martin was thinking. It's not like you were going to be the alpha, even without all that coddling." He gives Matt a friendly punch on the arm. "Good to see you all grown up." When he looks at Gabe, Bardou's gaze noticeably cools. "Ferris." Current Mood: busy | ||||||
|
wrenlet |
12:44p | Happy Eat 'Till You Can't Day! I know I probably sound like a broken record but for today, I don't care. On this Thanksgiving I am most deeply grateful for my friends; I honestly couldn't have made it through this year without you. *smish* | ||||||
|
amalthia |
3:08a | For the Merlin fans on my list You should enjoy this link. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2edllM1s it's a DVD extra with Angel, Tony Head, Colin and Bradley at an amusement park. I got this link from derryderrydown because she was completely awesome and found the link first and shared it. | ||||||
| Wednesday, November 26th, 2008 | ||||||||
|
amalthia |
10:15p | Guys, I have good news and bad news The good news is I've found my new shiny fandom. Merlin. :) The bad news is this means I'll probably end up reading a lot more Merlin stories than either SGA or SPN and now that I'm in school I have even less time to read. But actually I figured I'll still read SPN because yeah it's Supernatural...but like what happened when I found SPN I did not completely abandon SGA. So about my new happy fandom. I figured it out tonight when I was looking at my list of stories to read next and the next 10 are Merlin and I'd much rather read those than any of the other tabs opened on my Firefox browser. I think at this point now that I have less time I notice I'm reverting to my old ways of reading slash first, anything with non-con/rape elements absolutely first, long stories second, and favorite authors third. But it's kind of a mix of all three criteria. Honestly, don't think my rec list is going to change much because I found Merlin. Though I do need to get a few more icons. | ||||||
|
amalthia |
10:07p | Stargate Atlantis Recs Stargate Atlantis Twilight of the Fifth Sun: Lifeboat by tzzzz (Gen) This was interesting. And All We Have by seekergeek (Sheppard/McKay) INSTANT REC!!! I really liked the plot, character voices, and concept. | ||||||
|
fandom_wank [ gusty ] |
9:46p | A little Thanksgiving-themed wank for those celebrating the holiday! And heck, I guess those who don't can enjoy it too. I'd like to think of myself as a fair gal. So Furaffinity, a website for furry-themed art, changed its top banner for the holiday. Rather than the usual theme for these sorts of things like some character chasing a turkey/a bunch of people sitting down to a meal/a disappointed dude watching the Lions lose game number 5 million, they decide to instead go a different route. Namely by having their two mascot characters laying on a couch looking morbidly obese. On the original artist's upload there are both positive and negative comments along with much proclaiming that their fetish is NOT OK. Within minutes there are many journals on the subject. Some displaying total disgust about the subject manner while others tell everyone to (pun intended) lighten up. In one journal the head of the site, Dragoneer, mocks the people who are complaining about the banner: "Thousands of angry furries who can not take a joke are lining up!" He also edits the news post announcing the banner change to have what is supposed to be a link to a forum post discussing the subject, but is instead our old friend the Rickroll. There IS an actual discussion thread in the forums however, with the title "New Banner is tastless and disgusting". The poster of this thread, Rilvor, wants to start a petition to have the banner removed. Rilvor: "I would like to start a petition to have it removed. That banner makes me physically ill every time I see it. I do not appreciate having such content in this fandom, which I make a point to avoid, thrust into my face." The thread so far contains five pages of arguing over whether the banner is disgusting or not and people reminding others that it's only going to be up for 24 hours. ETA: Thanksgiving is over, and as expected, the banner is gone. However journals about it continue to appear! "All this pissing and moaning about the banner. I like the banner. I don't like the banner. Journals and forums and fucking petitions. You know what? People in DR Congo and Somalia are being attacked by rape gangs and war lords, their families are being murdered. People in North Korea are starving to death on the street. Massive terrorist attack in India. Etc." | ||||||
|
amalthia |
2:19a | pumpkinheart from youtube Does anyone know this vidder? or where she's gone to? Apparently her youtube account was suspended. :( | ||||||
| Tuesday, November 25th, 2008 | ||||||||
|
amalthia |
3:03p | Stargate Atlantis, Supernatural, and Vid Recs Stargate Atlantis Or Something Like It by semivowel (Sheppard/McKay) I had a blast reading this story. I loved the character voices, the set up, and I couldn't stop reading once I started. Supernatural Being Human by privatetentacle (Gen Castiel/Dean) I really liked the interaction between Dean and Castiel. Merlin, Supernatural, and Sarah Conner Chronicles Vid Recs Non Lievi Alchun by halcyon_shift (vid:recs:merlin) I loved the song and the pacing and the story told. Low Red Moon by untrue_accounts (vid:recs:spn) I liked the song and clip choices. (tags: vid:recs:spn vidder:untrue_accounts) Dance With The Devil by wolfpup2000 (vid:recs:spn) I really liked the song and clip choices. This was a good Sam and Dean vid for season 4. (tags: vid:recs:spn vidder:wolfpup2000) So Cold by azuremonkey (vid:recs:scc) I liked the song choice and clips. | ||||||
|
poisontaster |
11:44a | Days 22-24: Is This Thing On?
Today's word count: 2,851 Current Total Word Count: 43,017 What's bad: Not having time to write when I am so damned close to hitting 50K (and the noticeable lack of progress that goes with it). All the RL drama that I was spared in the first 3/4 of the month seems to have slammed into me all at once. I can't even contemplate failure at this point, but it's vexing, nonetheless. After I got a second opinion, I came to the conclusion that the flashback did not, indeed, fit where I'd put it. It totally broke the momentum too much. So it's back in it's isolated file and I trudge on, looking for a new, better location, though I'm starting to fear there IS no place for it and it will become one of those things that *I* know about that never make it to the page. If not, I'm not going to be overly fussed about it; it's not crucial to the plot and I think the abusive nature of Matt's relationship with Gabriel comes through anyway. I just like that scene. Martin really is a MASTER of manipulation, the way he handles Matt. I'm also starting to wonder if I'm ever going to get Matt to open up about his past and why he left. Cripes. We're already 80 pages in, here, Matty-boy! I mean, he's edged around it and there's implication galore, but I'm starting to despair of an actual CONVERSATION about this. I'm hoping that the end of this never-ending scene, where I get to lay gun number TWO on the table, will set the stage for that. We'll see. What's good: Things are falling together and things are lining up pretty logically for the end. I do think I'm going to get Matt to do some talking in the next scene. Gabe is already hopelessly lost, he just doesn't realize it yet. I'm struggling with how to make Matt realize he's not less a man just because he's gay and a hugely submissive bottom, but I feel reasonably confident that Gabe's relentless appreciation of Matt's bottomy qualities will bring him around in the end. What pleases me: "Earth to Matthew." "I think you broke him," Kara comments and a moment later, her beringed hand waves in front of Matt's eyes, making him flinch. "No, wait. Not broken. Stunned, maybe?" "I'm just—" Matt starts and then decides he doesn't know how to end that sentence. He scraps it wholesale and starts over. "I was just. Somewhere else for a minute." Current Mood:  frustrated | ||||||
| Monday, November 24th, 2008 | ||||||||
|
amalthia |
2:09a | Merlin, Supernatural, and Supernatural Vid Recs Merlin And None But We Can Be Such Kings by janne_d (Merlin/Arthur) I really enjoyed this story. Supernatural Just Breathe by blue_soaring (Sam/Dean) Supernatural Vid Recs Born under a bad sign" by proofpudding (vid:recs:spn) I loved the song, the pacing, the clip choices this was highly entertaining to watch. :) Still Alive by counteragent (vid:recs:spn) I'm not actually sure what this vid is saying but what I really loved was the use of motion and the song choice. :) Also really loved the montage of the SPN artwork near the end. | ||||||
| Sunday, November 23rd, 2008 | ||||||||
|
poisontaster |
6:57p | I'm kind of exhausted, so I can't give this the superlatives it deserves, but the truly AMAZING nu_breed podficced ALL OF LIGHT 'VERSE. ALL OF IT. Can you dig it? And besides being hugely flattered, I think you should go download the file and give nu_breed LOTS AND LOTS OF LOVE. ♥ Current Mood: happy | ||||||
| ngaio | 9:53p | Hugs I seem to have freaked myself out with Criminal Minds despite the last few eps I saw not being 'scary stalker dude hiding in your closet' so I've retreated to bed and taken you lot with me! I figure that with a hundred or so friends I should be safe, yes? Current Mood: nervous | ||||||
|
fandom_wank [ annepackrat ] |
11:02a | It was sweet, and then the beak fell off. I think the theory that Meg over at Cute Overload occasionally posts questionable content just to fuck with her viewers maybe true. Yesterday, Meg posted this video which tells the touching story of a dog who comes to a farm as a puppy and the duck (a male duck named Sheila) who adopts him. Unfortunately, Sheila eventually dies of old age. That's where it gets weird. Sheila's owners decide to get the duck embalmed and present the stuffed results to the dog, who is very happy to see his friend again. So happy, in fact, that he knocks her fake beak off. The video ends with one of the owners dragging Sheila's corpse so the dog can chase after it. ( And of course, all hell breaks loose in the comments. ) ( You're all horrible people and I'm never coming back here again! ) And then someone reveals that the video was fake, made as commercial for an Argentinian Internet Provider. Their tagline translates to "Internet you talk about." ( This commercial is animal cruelty! ) There's more to the thread, including discussions on the merits of giving ducks wheels, people quoting sketches about parrots who are pining for the fjords, and the vegans also weigh in toward the end. I'll leave the parting shot to Sara here: If dragging my preserved body around the yard made my friend that happy, I'd be fine with it. ETA: Link to commercial fixed, sorry. ETA 2: The Duck Drags Back: We have more angry flounces! ( Apparently these people missed the comments about how the whole thing was staged and that the whole McKenzie / Sheila friendship was made up. ) Current Mood: Dramatic | ||||||
|
amalthia |
3:36a | Things I wish I thought of sooner I'm looking at my music vid folder and I have about 36 gigs worth of vids and I thought I did GREAT by dividing the vids by fandoms...obviously that's not such a great method. What I should have done was what I do for fan fiction when I download stories. Which is label the damn files by vidder then vid title followed last by fandom. So no matter where the file ends up I can look and know some very important details without having to open the vid or scroll through it hoping the vidder added credits to the beginning or end of the vid. Believe it or not some vidders do not do this... anyways, live and learn. :) So today I went ice skating at the mall. It was much easier than skating on open pond and our jackets were a bit overkill but it was nice to see what it was like and it was only 5 dollars for my husband and I. Then we went grocery shopping. I think I have everything we need for thanksgiving except the wine. I made the mistake of joining my husband in the liquor store tonight. I'd left my purse at home and had only taken my student ID with me so I could not prove I was over 21. My husband was rather pissed off at the store because he was the one with the ID and the person who planned on buying the wine and I do not look like I'm under 21...not even on my good days. I'm 28 and I have GREY hair. (well only a little bit) It was just really annoying and my husband from Beligum was very very upset. Apparently in other countries people can buy beer without having to show ID. But seriously, do parents leave their kids in the car while they run into liquor stores to buy alcohol? That doesn't seem responsible at all. I don't want to sound like a 4 year old having a tantrum but I almost lost my shit in the store I was rather pissed off myself so I told my husband lets leave and walked out. I didn't know if I was more upset at myself for leaving my driver's licence at home or at the people in legisilature that thought it would be a good idea to pass a law where if you accompany someone into a liquor store without proof of age they can't sell alcohol to the person trying to buy. It's an incredibly frustrating feeling and I can't believe I forgot. I figured since my husband had his ID and was buying they wouldn't need my ID too. Basically, I hate my country sometimes we have ass backwards laws and it doesn't feel very freeing if I have to carry and ID with me at ALL TIMES just to live my life and do basic things like buy WINE. Except for the annoying experience of trying to buy WINE the rest of the day went rather well. | ||||||
| Saturday, November 22nd, 2008 | ||||||||
|
poisontaster |
12:07p | Day 21: Running to Stand Still
Today's word count: 1,712 Current Total Word Count: 40,166 What's bad: The fact that I'm not going to get any writing done today. I'm mid-scene and I'm afraid I'm going to lose my momentum, but I have other obligations that are falling behind and I don't see any way to reconcile it except to spend today on that and pick up writing again tomorrow. The silver lining in that is that I am positioned in a place where I only have to do about 1300 words a day for the next 8 days to make goal. I can do that. *breathes* I'm not sure about Kara. She's morphed in my head from her debut scene to now and I'm unsure if it works. I finally found a place to insert the Martin/Matt flashback that I've been hanging onto forever, but I'm not sure where I put it in is a good fit. It may detract from the momentum of the scene...but that might also be a good thing. It IS a moment when Matt's momentum gets broken as he realizes all over again that his one relationship with Martin hasn't told him anything about how to conduct a relationship (even a fuckbuddy one) with anyone else. Hmmm. What's good: I found a place to insert the darned flashback! *laughs* I wrote that scene because it was burning a hole in my brain and I've been looking for the right place for it ever since. I'm liking the different reactions to Matt; Jazz is wary and suspicious, but Kara accepts Matt right away and without question. I like that Gabe has already made a pivotal shift in how he sees and reacts to Matt that's different from any of his other lovers, but no one has noticed, except maybe Kara, who I think it going to have a clue by the end of the scene. I feel terrible how Matt has so much sublimated self-loathing in thinking that he's weak and contemptible just because he's not an alpha male, but from a writing standpoint, it's kind of awesome. I'm loving how I can feel the story actually gelling under my fingertips. I'm definitely not going to be able to end it in 10K, but I think I can get to the end of arc 2 and that's good enough, at this point. I also think that I'm going to bust 50K earlier than the 30th, which would be a first time thing and AWESOME. What pleases me: "You're not going to make that kind of mistake, are you?" Kara looks at him anxiously, reaching across the table to put her hand over his. She's wearing rings on every finger—and two on some—like a bejeweled knuckle duster. "Because you seem really nice and I think I like you and I'd hate to see you get your heart broken, too." Matt smiles, but it doesn't feel amusing at all, it feels like something else entirely. This, too, is a sickeningly familiar reaction. "No," he says quietly, still looking down at his cider, "I'm not going to make that same mistake." The apple scent of the cider is like perfume, cutting sweetly through the thick stink of the rest of the pub. Current Mood: annoyed | ||||||
|
amalthia |
12:21a | Stargate Atlantis Rec Stargate Atlantis Reinventing the Wheel by eleveninches (Sheppard/McKay) INSTANT REC!!! I had a blast reading this story. I loved the action and adventure aspect and the quieter moments and I had a hard time putting this story down. | ||||||
