TimeGuardian's Muse Workspace

Had some thoughts on how to top my previous story Power Play. 

Well the idea grew - I'll leave a preview here. No title yet, but let's just say a popular bad guy will be back and his need for revenge will be high.



 

Fanfiction - definite hiatus.  I have no new ideas, got too much on my mind (see previous entry) , and the editing - meh I know I need to edit my previous JQ stories to get the names consistent, but I haven't had the inclination to.

Original fiction - struggling.  I am trying to continue it, stuck on one scene, again the stuff on my mind is really distracting me.

Okay, good to get this out. More later.

I am uninspired.

My body is not helping.  I have been trying to diet, since I am still too near the 330lb mark, but it has been hard, and with an arthritic knee, It has been difficult to do much in the way of exercising.  I couldn't pull myself up from a pool or my tub if my life depended on it.  At least I haven't gained weight, but it is a small victory.

This heat has also been relentless, adding to my misery.  I have been trying to drink a lot of water, but it feels like a losing battle, since I am taking water pills to try and alleviate edema in my legs and feet. 

And now for the last three days, every joint in my body has killed me.  I couldn't bend my elbows, I could barely walk, my back nearly kills me every time.  I whimpered.

To understand my frustration, I can normally keep it all in.  The pain killers my doctor has given me no longer keep the pain in my knee at bay. In addition to not being able to pull myself up from a pool or a tub, I have no one I can exercise with, and two - I dont have a bathing suit.

Okay, the last part is a little more vanity than anything else.  As I once told a friend of mine, my pride is going to kill me one of these days.

There are somedays that I feel like I am less than nothing, and then there are some days where I feel a spark of hope inside of me.

My parents are worried about me, and in fact they came to my apartment last weekend to have them help me clean.

My friends are worried about me. I have been prodded by both entities to make an appointment with the doctor to tell him what is going on.

The last time I went he told me a nerve was being pressed in my back and told me to go lose weight. I wonder what he would say if he saw me do a frantic 20 mintue shopping dash for food, shaking like a leaf, the pain in my back feeling like it would cut me in two.

Okay, truth time, I guess the question that has been bothering me is whether I can go back to the doctor with a clear conscience.

Have I tried to exercise? Yes, within reason. 
Have I tried to lose weight? Yes

Okay. I think I have made a good faith effort. I shall now see if that will help me with the doc. 

I will learn the value of consistentcy.

Crossposted from the Fan Nation message boards:

Hmm...I guess I will learn one of these days.

http://help.yahoo.com/l/us/yahoo/geocities/geocities-05.html

Dangnabit...had my site with them for close to 10 years.

Ah well... question is do I leave my sailor moon stories out there or yank em?

meh...I no longer in that fandom, so I know my answer...they will go bye bye

Okay, I am feeling a little better about where I am going with my writing. Man when I get in a mood, I really do not want to do anything.

It's the times when I stop writing when I realize that it is how I organize the chaos that is my mind, imaginative parts and all.

I have to stop allowing my mood to take me away from something I like to do.  Anyhoo, postged two chapters to my Hardy Boys story, and have paragraphs written in the next chapters for my Thunderbirds story and my JQ story as well.

Once these stories are told, I think I will defnitely be taking a loooong break from fanfiction.  For the first time in years I feel I have a decent original idea, and I think it merits more attention than I have been giving it.  Besides when I get on these writing rants, I find that I do not read as much, and there are so many fic authors I want to catch up on, including Red Hardy in the Hardy Boys fandom, along with quite a few over in my other two fave fandoms as well.

Aw well, time for bed.

The short of it? I am burned out and uninspired and as a result, I have been making mistakes. Not proud of it at all, and I need some time away. Will I be back? Yes.

P.S.  The Hulk Vs. series with Thor and Wolverine?  <3  Especially the ending scene on wolverine.  "owww"

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lab.drwicked.com

Finished the Prince of Persia DLC. Dang though, I want to write and I am not feeling focused. Maybe I should go back to the writing lab - I have quickly forgotten why I got this far in the first place.

Prince of Persia epilogue...whimper...final boss...button masher...owww...must put down before I lose all feeling in figners or throw my controller at the tv.

Not sure how I feel about this one...

UBI is adding DLC to Prince of Persia that was released last year, adding more levels and story. More Prince and Elika goodness, yea!

But...

If you were to do a little digging at the UBI boards, the seeds of discontent grow strong and fast. Due to business decisions (cause that's UBI's story, and they are sticking to it), the content will only be made available to xbox360 and PS3 users (there is some minor talk of it being available for mac, but I didn't dig enough to know for sure).

The Prince of Persia PC gamers are first class ticked. There's cursing and talks of boycotts, trying to get the console users to join them, and overall general discontent. There's little seeds of entitlement and wank there to be found if you look hard enough, including talks of OMG!!! They don't trust us!

For the record, my gaming life began on the PC platform of sorts. Started on the Commodore 64, graduated to a PC, then during my brief stint as a game store employee, tasted the likes of the PS One, PSP, and now Nintendo DS.

Now I own a PS3. For the record, I like both mediums. For the record, I will probably buy the DLC when it's made available on the PS3. Yes, UBI made a bad business decision opinionwise, especially if they released the same volume of PC versions of PoP that they did for the game systems. This means these users do not get to see the rest of the story at the least, but unfortunately, that was UBI's decision to make.

The PC users can vote with their pocketbook. That's well within their right. Since I am flexible either way, I choose to go with the game I want to play. This will probably be the last UBI game I play though, considering their quality. For one thing, Naughty Dog games have impressed me with their lineup, including the Uncharted game series. For another, on the PC front, the Adventure Company has kept up their releases of the type of games I like to play on the PC. (it is the closest I can get to reliving the Sierra days, dontcha know?)

~Gets off soapbox~ meh, enough with my thoughts on videogames. It is a fickle industry, I'll say that much.

Finished Prince of Persia for the PS3 in its current form. Leaves off at a bit of a cliffahnger. (Unsatisfying in my opinion, but YMMV)

Now I hear about downloadable content being made available on the fifth, adding more story. Nevermind that UBI is chaging for the content, but I have other things to do with my time...like writing.

But the story of the Prince must continue, yesss.....precious.

Urp. Dangit, must break this addiction. Or I could Use the fifth as a goal. I already have made good progress on my next JQ chapter as well as on my original manuscript.

I had just finished a Hardy Boys chapter and posted it this past weekend. Introduced an interesting twist, now I have to figure out how it plays into the main plot. Yes, I plot on the fly, it sounds reprehensible and disorganized, and I cannot explain it properly, but all I can say is when I decide on a particular direction, it 'feels' right you know? Normally then I can attach it to what is currently going on and go forward. In order to get where I am with my original though, I had to plan it out a little more. The style has its benefits, but I am finding it hard to adjust so far.

Meh, too many fingers in the pot, but its the stories in the games and my writing that help me not obsess over my real life issues. Like my non existant diet that needs to exist. My knees are not going to last at this rate, arthritis already hates me bad enough.

Grandmother is doing okay for now, may take the weekend to go see her. Heck she guilt trips me bad enough as is whenever I call her. It'll be good to see her at home instead of the hospital.

Enough. Time to go back into the fictional world for a while.

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/content_display/film/news/e3iaeb1c24de37000ac9d6ab15e86a4f615

The short of it...they are planning on remaking The Neverending Story. I knew growing up with Hollywood has its drawbacks. :( 

I am feeling better somewhat.  The news on the forefront is a little better.  Grandma is out of hospital,  but her mobility has become limited again.  There was an earlier time where she could barely move at all, but that is another heart wrenching story.

Meh,  it is hell on my mom and dad, I can tell you that much.

Me,  I had been uninspired,  between new projects at work, and my diet not going so well, let's just say I had a good pity party going for a while.

What broke me out of it?  Two things.

1. Prince of Persia for PS3.  I have not been a big fan of platformers and puzzle games.  With games like this and Uncharted: Drake's fortune, I am quickly finding myself having to change my tune. The storylines are interesting enough to make me have a vested interest in the games.  It helps that the voice actor is hot too, of course, but overall my weekend has been spent flipping through worlds and having a badass princess save my skin every ten minutes or so. ;)

2.  I see a mutual nano friend  of mine is seeing success with her first book.  She is published and everything,  and all off of the starting point of a nano manuscript .  I had posted to my facebook that I was feeling uninspired,  and she replied to me, "sending a muse"  Sounds silly I know, but it reminded me that if she could do it,  then I could inspire myself.  (Something I should probably sticky note to my forehead  -__-;; )

Anyhoo,  worked on my novel, my Jq fanfiction, and my hardy boys fanfiction. More than one sentence in all three in fact.   Considering I went a whole week without writing, I am calling this progress.

There are no winners here.

My maternal grandmother is in the hospital. My mother went in one morning, couldn't wake her up.  Turns out her blood sugar bottomed out.

She's also been throwing up for the past two days too.

She's been living with my parents.  Turns out she's been steadily declining of late.

I wouldn't wish a stay in the hospital on her.  She's 80 years old, she's lived quite a full life so far, but she gets easily depressed when alone.

My mom is torn up about this, my dad is no better since he gives the primary care for her when my mom's not home.

I was planning to visit them this weekend anyway,  but now I have a mother that is torn up, a grandmother that can use some distractions, a dad that's feeling helpless and me?  Well, I'm in the godammned middle trying to not fall apart myself.

I'm not good with this emotional stuff.  All I have managed to do is pray that if it is her time, that she is allowed a peaceful passing.  On the same token, I am hoping it is not her time yet.  There's so much more I want to share with her.

As I said, there's no winners here.  Move along.  )-':

Between work and arthritis, life is sucking major wind right now.

It has left me downright uninspired to do much of anything,  but that does not mean that I am not trying.   Was able to hammer out a potential beginning to the next chapter of my Jonny Quest fic.

I am taking a pretty good prescription tonight:  some good music, a glass of my favorite soda, some chcocolate, and a usb stick just waiting for some words.  Hell, if I get desperate, I have all I need for a solo karoke night.  Upstairs neighbors might not be so willing, but I normally don't belt em out loud anyhoo, so fooey on them. :P

I am feeling a little more mellow now, despite the knee barking, so maybe things will be good for the night.   

This Hardy Boys plot bunny is quickly taking on a life of its own.  Already working on chapter three if it is any indication.  

Good grief, I have let fanfiction get in the way of my original stuff..again.

~Mutters about getting organized and shuffles off-thread~

I need to be working on my original manuscript and/or my Jonny Quest fan fiction, but this plot bunny would not shut up.  Ah well, it has developed into a full blown chapter, so I shall dump it here for the moment and see if I can ignore it long enough to get my other stuff done.

Yeah, right, I know, in what universe will that happen, but hey, I am trying to get organized at least.