Blank Paper Scribbles

FUN FACT

the.wanlorn@gmail.com — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 18:33:48 GMT

Last time I made a public post here, I was on my way to visit breecita and donna!

FUNNER FACT:

That was almost a year ago!

FUNNEST FACT!:

GUESS WHERE I'M POSTING FROM RIGHT NOW!!

*\o/* That's right! I'm visiting them again! And have been since last week! But tomorrow I leave to go visit shoiryu and on Saturday I leave Shoi to go WHO KNOWS WHERE but maybe soleta overnight and then on Sunday I go visit waltraute on my way back home!

And then on Monday classes start up. :(

CAN I JUST STAY HERE FOREVER?

Also, I just cleaned up my flist. Which is oddly easier here because everyone I defriended here I have friended over on LJ anyway and all they do is crosspost so it's not like I'll be missing their entries.

YES, YOU ARE STILL ON MY FLIST. JEEZ. I WOULD NEVER DEFRIEND YOU.

DEAR INTERNETS

the.wanlorn@gmail.com — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 01:08:39 GMT

donna and breecita are gonna eat me or something. If you don't hear from my by Saturday, it's because either they ate me, or my purty mouth is busy squealing like a pig.

That is all.

OH, ALSO: I think I popped my ear drum by smacking my ear lots trying to get it to stop rining. THIS IS NOT GOOD.

Let Me Tell You My Thoughts On The Meme

the.wanlorn@gmail.com — Wed, 29 Aug 2007 22:15:37 GMT

THE MEME
LET ME TELL YOU MY THOUGHTS ON IT

THE MEME
DO THEY REALLY RAPE PUPPIES?
A HARD-HITTING INVESTIGATIVE REPORT

Everyone else is 300 times more eloquent than me, so just go look at shadowkitty's or esclaramonde's or something.

Although, if you think it is a hatememe, you are a silly goose who is clearly too lazy to actually go poke around when you haven't been linked to someone hating on you. And you also probably haven't been linked to Golden Eagle Killer, which makes me laugh my ass off to this day.

Okay, time to go back to harassing breecita. I think I am going to go take over her kitchen to make PANCAKES because I am hungry and the AC is fixed.

>:(

the.wanlorn@gmail.com — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 16:22:59 GMT

I am so cranky today. I AM PROBABLY CRANKY AT YOU. Even if I don't know who you are.

>:( You probably smell like old socks, too.

GOD I AM CRANKY.

>:)

the.wanlorn@gmail.com — Sat, 11 Aug 2007 22:53:49 GMT

Everyone who's had an account here for more than a year are getting mi-i-ighty cranky.

Sadly, the internet-lawyer-cum-friend-of-a-real-lawyer has a good point. Free speech protects you from the government, not from businesses with TOSes.

ILU ALL except for you and you and you.

HI THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT

the.wanlorn@gmail.com — Wed, 17 Jan 2007 20:27:28 GMT

Okay internet, I am in need of help again. I already posted about this, but I figure that now, since everything is more concrete, I should ask again. Plus, I'm cross-posting to LJ.

You all know my roommate situation, yes? To sum it up, we have irreconcilable differences, compounded by both groups of us (as much as me vs. them can be considered two groups) engaging in activities either against our contract or illegal.

So, I'm thinking of moving off campus. There are various pros and cons, which I'll try to list, but I'm not sure if I will remember them all. So, feel free to throw out suggestions in the comments.

Cons:
1) I'll still have to pay for my room on campus since the refund deadline was a while ago
2) To get an apartment I can afford, my commute will be at least half an hour to school and forty minutes to work. And that's not during rush hour traffic.
3) I'll probably have issues (read: lots of stress) during the months I'm in school when coming up with rent and bill money.

Pros:
1) I'll finally have an apartment, so I won't have to deal with moving two or three times a year.
2) I won't have to deal with the stress of living with cunty people. And, make no mistake, that's a lot of stress. =\
3) I'll have an apartment, so my bedroom won't be so cluttered.

Here are two ads that I'm looking at, summarized for your convenience.

$700/1BR - Includes Heat, Hot Water, & Free Cable. 3rd floor of a 3 unit building. 4 rooms, 1 bathroom, washer & dryer in apartment. Fridge & stove. Older but well kept apartment. "tenancy at will or lease....optional" (wut?) No smoking, cats OK, 1 month free, $300 security deposit.

$695/1BR - "Amazing 1BR in [omitted] for March.. Close to Train.. No Fee.. See Today" Range, Fridge/Freezer. No fee. $695 security. (From the same Realtor, there's also a $625 for Feb.)

So, what do you guys think? Please, comment with reasons why you're for/against. I want to make sure that I'm not missing anything.

View Poll: Apartment

Housing Dilemna

the.wanlorn@gmail.com — Mon, 15 Jan 2007 01:02:08 GMT

Internets, I need help. First off, background info:

Month+ before school: "Hi, I'm bringing my rats!" "Cool, we're bringing booze!" "Cool."

Two days before I move in: "Yeah, we talked, and no rats." "Okay. Also, no booze." "...wot..." "*shrug*" "Fine."

School starts: "*brings booze*" "*brings rats*"

End of Semester: "We know you have rats. Get rid of them." "Okay. Get rid of your booze." "...wot..." "It's only fair."

New Semester Starts: "*brings booze*" "*brings rats and photographs booze*"

Obviously, rats = me, booze = roommates.

So, the question: Do I try to move off-campus right now?

Pros: Less stressful in the pet department. Also less stressful in the general living-with-people-I-hate department.

Cons: I'd still be paying for my room here at school, since the deadline for getting a refund has passed. Also, I'll probably have more stress come July when I'm not working a full-time job anymore.

That's what I got. What do you guys have?

WUT

the.wanlorn@gmail.com — Sun, 24 Dec 2006 04:16:13 GMT

TEZ. TEZ, HE POOFED TEZ. HE POOFED. HE WAS THIS BIG BAD BAD GUY AND HE DIDN'T EVEN REALLY DO ANYTHING EXCEPT POOFED. LIKE THE POOFINGEST POOFTER THAT EVER POOFED.

WHAT THE HELL.

BAD FILLER ARC! BAD! NO COOKIES FOR YOU!

NOT HAPPY

the.wanlorn@gmail.com — Tue, 19 Dec 2006 08:19:41 GMT

GODDAMNT BREE, NOW I CAN'T EVEN LOG INTO AIM AT ALL.

Sad Panda

the.wanlorn@gmail.com — Sat, 09 Dec 2006 04:03:13 GMT

This semester insits on continuing to shit on me.

In c... c... order from beginning of the semester to now:

-roomies say "Bitch you can't bring your rats.
-uncle goes from "I have cancer" to "I'm dying from this cancer".
-family goes insane
-sister goes insane (of a different variety)
-uncle goes from "I'm dying from this cancer" to "I'm not going to make it to Christmas"
-roomies say "Bitch we know you have rats; get rid of them"

The result of this (mostly the 4 in the middle; the two on the outsides are just annoyances compared to the middle) is that this semester is a complete bust. Instead of my priority being "Do very well in school", or even "Ignore school to get self better", it's been "Stay in bed so I don't have to deal with anything."

So, yes, this is my fault, and not in an acceptable way. If my guesses are anywhere close to right, this is how it will go:

Music Lesson (assuming I get a grade for it): A
Social Fact Vs. Fiction: B+
Probability & Statistics: C (only because he said that everyone is going to pass, and C is the lowest passing grade. Alas, I will still have to retake it, as I need a C+ for it to "count" when it's a requirement)
Systems & Networks: F
Theory of Computation: F

FTF, me. FTF. My GPA is going to plumet. Which, I suppose, doesn't really matter, but it's still stressing me the fuck out. I know I'm going to get screamed at by Mum for it. Which is stupid because, on the scale of culpability for my suckitude, she's at #2.

I have a final in each of the bottom 3 classes next week. I... just no. I should be studying. I should study, period, but it's just going to upset me and make me angry and more stressed and I'm going to do it anyway but I just yeah.

The Cider House Rules

the.wanlorn@gmail.com — Sat, 25 Nov 2006 03:05:19 GMT

"Let us be happy for Doctor Larch," Homer said softly. "Doctor Larch has found a family. Good night, Doctor Larch."

[...]

To Nurse Edna, who was in love, and to Nurse Angela, who wasn't (but who had in her wisdom named both Homer Wells and Fuzzy Stone), there was no fault to be found in the hearts of either Dr. Stone or Dr. Larch, who were--if there ever were--Princes of Maine, Kings of New England.

~The Cider House Rules, by John Irving (pp. 569, 587)

It's funny; for some reason, I never remember the last paragraph of the book. In the beginning, when I'm getting all melancholy over Larch saying "Good night--you Princes of Maine, you Kings of New England!", I always think to myself that a perfect ending to this book would be that phrase. And, well, that's close.

I fucking hate end-of-an-era books no matter how much I love the book itself. Whenever I read The Cider House Rules I swear I cry through the last 20 pages or so because everything's changing and that just plain sucks ass.

I wonder if people who don't despise change as much as I do react the same way?

Stupid Thanksgiving

the.wanlorn@gmail.com — Thu, 23 Nov 2006 01:11:36 GMT

Uh... So you guys... How do you clean a turkey? Like, do you just take out everything inside? Or what?

OMFG what am I doing????

God fucking DAMNIT

the.wanlorn@gmail.com — Wed, 15 Nov 2006 18:32:37 GMT

I should've called the goddamned cops last night and tried to get them to put her on a goddamned 72-hour hold.

Kerry: i'm goign home to see the dr
Mystra1215: Good.
Auto response from Kerry: isn't it ironic

Mystra1215: When?
Kerry: becasue i'm havng a break down i've been cryig for like 2 hrs and i want to die right now and i'm afraid i'm going to kill myself
Kerry: so dad comming to get me now
Mystra1215: Good.
Mystra1215: How long until he's there?
Kerry: idk
Mystra1215: When'd you call him?
Kerry: 10min ago
Mystra1215: Oh okay.
Kerry: i want to die
Kerry: like please
Kerry: i just want to go

So she's going home tomorrow, apparently, and has an appointment with whoever. But she needs to have Da cancel it because she forgot that she has community service and:
Kerry: nooo i cant i will feel bad my retard will be sad
Kerry: i'll be a horrible person

...

So not only do I need to call Da and give him the full details of the shit she's been saying to me, I need to tell him to pick her up and take her regardless of whether she tells him to cancel or not.

God damnit.

ETA: He called me for advice just as I posted this. So I gave him a list of what to do and what meds everyone is on/worked so that he can tell Merle, and told him to drag her to the damned doctor no matter what she says or does. And that if she wouldn't go, to call the cops and tell them XYZ and get her put on a 72-hour hold. And that if he couldn't do any of this then have Merle call me so I can fill him in, and if she's refusing to go and he can't make her I'll call the goddamned cops.

I think I'm starting to really hate my family

the.wanlorn@gmail.com — Tue, 14 Nov 2006 02:13:58 GMT

Jesus. I am so sick of this bullshit. Through her own goddamned stupidity she has got herself into all of these situations. But of course it's everyone else's fault. Gods forbid she takes some sodding responsibility.

I am done playing the "Oh you poor dear" person. I forgot what a fucking little princess this kid is and why I fucking hated her guts for most of my life.

I think I say that I'm done with my family once every other week or so, but this time, I think I'm serious.

(20:06:03) Kerry: so now i'm being fined for being drunk on campus
(20:06:12) Kerry: like wtf kind of school is this
(20:06:19) Mystra1215: That happens at every school, dumbass.
(20:06:31) Mystra1215: If you're going to get drunk, you don't get caught.
(20:06:31) Kerry: like i wasnt even in possesion of alcohol thi
(20:06:36) Kerry: i didnt get caught drinking
(20:06:37) Mystra1215: But you were drunk
(20:06:39) Mystra1215: And a minor.
(20:06:41) Kerry: this school is so gay
(20:06:46) Mystra1215: Every school is like that.
(20:06:57) Kerry: o well whats 50 bucks and an alcohol edu seminar
(20:07:07) Kerry: i'm not comming back here after xmas break
(20:07:09) Mystra1215: Nice, it's $100 + a seminar here.
(20:07:18) Kerry: like ok so i get fined
(20:07:30) Kerry: but uhh kids pass out and puke in the halls and dont get fined
(20:07:39) Kerry: and my ra didnt even write me up shes like are u kidding me
(20:07:46) Kerry: it was the fucking area cordinator
(20:07:54) Kerry: i'm telling them straight up thats a bad rule
(20:07:55) Mystra1215: Yeah, that's what they do.
(20:08:00) Kerry: cus next time i see someone drunk
(20:08:04) Kerry: i'm not reporting them
(20:08:07) Mystra1215: Hahahahahahaha
(20:08:09) Kerry: like puking drunk
(20:08:14) Kerry: so they can save 50 dollars
(20:08:17) Kerry: not even kidding
(20:08:21) Kerry: i'm really going to say that
(20:08:27) Kerry: i;'m spreading the word to everyone
(20:08:35) Kerry: dont call for help or u'll get fined
(20:09:27) Mystra1215: Everyone knows that, if they have half a brain in their heads.
(20:09:48) Kerry: uhhh no they dont
(20:09:53) Kerry: then why would anyone call for help
(20:10:04) Mystra1215: Because you get a bigger fine if your roommate/friend dies.
(20:10:11) Kerry: o well
(20:10:14) Kerry: i wasnt going to die
(20:10:20) Kerry: i was still talking and breathing
(20:10:24) Mystra1215: You're friends with freshmen.
(20:10:35) Kerry: and conscious
(20:10:37) Kerry: fucking idiots
(20:10:41) Kerry: like the girl who told
(20:10:44) Mystra1215: Duh, you're all freshmen.
(20:10:54) Kerry: like back in dtown peopel puke all the time
(20:11:03) Kerry: its not like i'm like o better call the police
(20:11:05) Kerry: omg
(20:11:10) Kerry: i fucking hate people
(20:12:01) Mystra1215: Hahahahaha.
(20:13:01) Kerry: like i'm not comming back to school after christmas break
(20:13:03) Kerry: no lie
(20:13:57) Mystra1215: Where are you going to go instead?
(20:14:05) Kerry: no where till next fall
(20:14:09) Mystra1215: Uhhhhhh
(20:14:12) Kerry: i'll just get a job
(20:14:13) Kerry: o well
(20:14:21) Kerry: college isnt for me
(20:14:22) Mystra1215: You do realize that means no health insurance and you have to start paying back your loans immediately
(20:14:23) Mystra1215: Right?
(20:14:28) Kerry: yup
(20:14:43) Mystra1215: Pretty sure you're not going to be able to afford that with some minimum wage job.
(20:14:57) Kerry: well what are they going to do then throw me in jail
(20:15:03) Kerry: o well
(20:15:14) Kerry: there must be a way i can only pay a little a month
(20:15:22) Kerry: not liek i have to pay it all back at once
(20:15:38) Mystra1215: Yeah, but it'll still be a lot.
(20:15:45) Mystra1215: And you'll have to keep paying it back once you're in school again
(20:15:51) Kerry: o well
(20:15:58) Kerry: i prob wont go back to school
(20:16:16) Mystra1215: Well if that's what you want to do, it's your funeral.
(20:16:23) Kerry: theres nothing here i even want to major in
(20:16:30) Kerry: haha good one
(20:17:38) Mystra1215: And yes, they will throw you in jail.
(20:17:38) Kerry: : studying my life away
(20:17:51) Mystra1215: You will have shitty credit forever so you can't actually get any more loands
(20:17:57) Mystra1215: Which means no car, no house, no nothing.
(20:18:22) Kerry: welll jeremy left fter a smemester
(20:18:26) Kerry: and hes not in jail
(20:19:02) Mystra1215: He went to community college.
(20:19:12) Kerry: mmhmm
(20:19:13) Mystra1215: He had, like, a tenth of your debt.
(20:19:17) Kerry: i guess
(20:19:18) Kerry: o well
(20:19:28) Kerry: i dotn have that much
(20:19:33) Kerry: 12,000
(20:19:35) Kerry: maybe
(20:19:46) Kerry: i can make half that in a year
(20:19:56) Kerry: i'll be able to pay it off in time
(20:20:13) Mystra1215: Hahahahhaa
(20:20:30) Kerry: or i may file for a leave of absence saying i'm contemplating suicide and admit myself to a psych ward for a year
(20:21:48) Mystra1215: hahahahahahahaha
(20:21:54) Kerry: i'm serious
(20:22:05) Mystra1215: Go ahead and do it.
(20:22:11) Mystra1215: I'm pretty sure that's just as expensive as college, though.
(20:22:38) Kerry: o well we learned today that a lot of mental illness starts btw ages 18-24 and i'm pretty sure i'm getting something
(20:22:50) Kerry: i might just snap like that girl in bell jar
(20:23:27) Mystra1215: Hahahaha I'm pretty sure you just want to have something so you have an excuse not to go to school.
(20:24:00) Kerry: haha naw idk i think about like suicide a lot like if i just accidentally fell down stairs or walked in front of a car or drank too much again
(20:24:42) Kerry: idk dont tell mom tho cus then she hits me
(20:24:50) Mystra1215: Hahahahahahaha
(20:25:02) Kerry: i wonder if i told the people at the er that i drank a lot cus i cant talk to anyone cus my mom hits me
(20:25:13) Kerry: i told them that i drank a lot cus i hated salve
(20:25:15) Kerry: so i wonder
(20:25:16) Kerry: hmmm
(20:26:40) Mystra1215: Oh that would be lovely.
(20:26:52) Kerry: mmmm i know
(20:27:04) Kerry: o well w/e
(20:27:16) Kerry: life sucks i've pretty mcuh given up on it
(20:27:27) Kerry: i dont even believe in happyness anymore
(20:27:47) Kerry: like i think some people are meant to be miserable
(20:27:55) Kerry: and just sucks for me that i was one of them
(20:28:35) Mystra1215: Yeah yeah yeah.
(20:28:38) Mystra1215: Cheer up emo kid.
(20:28:48) Kerry: idk i always feel like this
(20:29:07) Kerry: like since i came to this horrible place
(20:29:14) Kerry: like i had to listen to a lecture today
(20:29:23) Kerry: about gettinginvoved in spiritual activities
(20:29:25) Kerry: like wow
(20:29:39) Mystra1215: It's a Catholic school, what did you expect?
(20:29:40) Kerry: u know u fucked up pretty bad when u have to listen to that
(20:29:45) Kerry: idk
(20:30:11) Kerry: and mom makes it seem like i'm stuck here i told thm i needed to transfer out for spring but they wouldnt hear it
(20:30:40) Mystra1215: You're an adult now.
(20:30:52) Mystra1215: You don't need Mommy and Daddy's permission for everything.
(20:31:00) Kerry: ya but i need there money for aps
(20:32:04) Kerry: idk
(20:32:16) Kerry: i'm done with formal education
(20:33:01) Mystra1215: What happened to all of your money?
(20:33:08) Mystra1215: Didn't you have graduation money and work money and all that shit?
(20:33:13) Kerry: uhh 600 dollars of books
(20:33:23) Kerry: and another 600 for nxt semester
(20:33:28) Kerry: food and stuff
(20:33:40) Kerry: plane ticket to sc = 300
(20:33:57) Kerry: spenidng money for sc= 200
(20:34:12) Kerry: left over = like 200
(20:34:16) Mystra1215: Your priorities are a bit messed up there, kid.
(20:34:29) Kerry: w/e bought my ticket to get away from it all
(20:34:39) Mystra1215: Not exactly helpful
(20:34:44) Mystra1215: Since you don't leave until after school ends.
(20:34:51) Kerry: would end
(20:34:57) Kerry: it end for me in dec
(20:35:24) Mystra1215: Where are you going to live?
(20:35:31) Kerry: street
(20:35:35) Kerry: dont care
(20:35:38) Kerry: a tent
(20:35:43) Kerry: near a river
(20:35:54) Kerry: going to spend my money on renting a site
(20:35:59) Kerry: for a bit
(20:36:06) Mystra1215: That's pretty stupid.
(20:36:13) Kerry: taking time to sort things out
(20:36:17) Kerry: why
(20:36:25) Kerry: i'll be able to think
(20:36:31) Kerry: straighen out whats wrong
(20:37:07) Mystra1215: In a tent near a river?
(20:37:17) Kerry: well ya a rived to bathe in
(20:37:21) Kerry: *river
(20:37:25) Kerry: on some campsite
(20:37:27) Kerry: idk where yet
(20:38:09) Mystra1215: You are aware that's illegal, right?
(20:38:19) Mystra1215: And that you'll probably be arrested and put in jail.
(20:38:19) Kerry: uhhh how i'm going to rent a site
(20:38:29) Mystra1215: Uhhh public nudity.
(20:38:40) Kerry: ooook
(20:38:47) Kerry: people do it all the time
(20:38:52) Kerry: i'll bring a bthing suite
(20:39:06) Mystra1215: Mmmkay.
(20:39:13) Kerry: w/e
(20:39:18) Kerry: anywher but here
(20:39:24) Kerry: will be better
(20:39:35) Kerry: at least i wont want to die all the time
(20:39:55) Mystra1215: Well if you're really "getting a mental illness" then that's not going to change.
(20:40:18) Kerry: ya cus i will become oblivious in the wild
(20:40:30) Kerry: because i wont be able to compare myself to happy people
(20:40:36) Kerry: i will accept nonfeeling
(20:40:38) Kerry: as the norm
(20:41:27) Mystra1215: No, you won't.
(20:42:40) Kerry: ok i think i will
(20:42:41) Kerry: idk
(20:43:06) Kerry: i dont think i'm getting out of bed for the rest of the week
(20:44:04) Mystra1215: So don't.
(20:44:36) Kerry: i'm not or eat i'll just shower and sleep then maybe i will have to leave the school
(20:44:59) Mystra1215: Probably not.
(20:45:07) Kerry: ya cus i will be emaciated
(20:45:09) Kerry: and dieing
(20:45:19) Kerry: and then at least i will be skinny at my fineral
(20:45:28) Mystra1215: They'll just put you in the hospital.
(20:45:38) Mystra1215: And then you'll have the joy of going to a psych ward and getting fat.
(20:46:01) Kerry: naw cus i;ll be dead
(20:46:14) Mystra1215: Sure you will be.
(20:47:01) Kerry: idk i'm going to become an alocoholic i've decided
(20:47:09) Kerry: because thast the only time i feel happy ever
(20:47:15) Mystra1215: Sounds like you pretty much already are.
(20:47:15) Kerry: is when i'm plastered
(20:47:24) Kerry: i know
(20:47:25) Mystra1215: I'm sure you'll be very good at being Uncle Tommy.
(20:47:30) Kerry: cus it brings me joy
(20:47:39) Kerry: ya i used to not be able to see how people could do it
(20:47:43) Kerry: but now i understand
(20:48:08) Mystra1215: Mmmhmmm.
(20:48:17) Kerry: o well
(20:48:28) Kerry: it wont matter soon i guess
(20:49:12) Mystra1215: Ah well, maybe next time you'll actually listen to people instead of playing the know-it-all.
(20:49:54) Kerry: o well next time HA if i listened to people i would be staying here for 4 yrs and sticking it out and commiting suicide
(20:50:09) Mystra1215: If you listened to people you wouldn't be there in the first place.
(20:50:34) Kerry: ya maybe
(20:50:40) Kerry: idk
(20:50:45) Kerry: i did listen to peope tho
(20:50:50) Kerry: i listened to alicia
(20:50:56) Mystra1215: That's 1 person
(20:51:03) Mystra1215: Compared to how many who were telling you you were an idiot?
(20:51:18) Kerry: idk whatever
(20:52:17) Mystra1215: *shrug* Suck it up. You made your bed.
(20:53:23) Kerry: o well i guess...
(20:54:15) Mystra1215: If you're really that bad, get off your ass and go to a shrink and get on meds.
(20:56:45) Kerry: cant
(20:56:53) Kerry: mom and dad would have to buy me one
(20:56:57) Kerry: i know the one here
(20:57:15) Kerry: her daughter is one of the special needs girls i talk to her every week at m communtiy service
(20:57:27) Kerry: it would be akward cus we havea kind of professional relationship
(20:57:37) Kerry: wouldnt want her to think her daughters with some loon
(20:57:50) Mystra1215: You have health insurance.
(20:57:55) Mystra1215: Go find someone who takes BCBS
(20:57:59) Mystra1215: And figure out how to pay for it.
(20:58:04) Kerry: no way to get there
(20:58:20) Mystra1215: Don't you have a shuttle bus?
(20:58:52) Kerry: ya to downtown
(20:58:57) Kerry: its on a strict routw
(20:59:04) Kerry: its a like legit bus
(20:59:07) Kerry: for newport
(20:59:10) Mystra1215: Last I checked you have legs.
(20:59:17) Kerry: to walk where?
(20:59:23) Mystra1215: And it's Newport. I'm sure there are plenty of shrinks there.
(20:59:25) Kerry: over the bridge into the real world
(20:59:34) Kerry: dont know
(21:00:03) Kerry: well i have 2 big tests tomorrow and i'm thinking of skipping them
(21:00:05) Kerry: fuck it
(21:00:20) Mystra1215: So skip them.
(21:00:23) Kerry: i need to go talk to my RA anyways about getting these fines dropped
(21:00:25) Mystra1215: You're a big girl, deal with the consequences.
(21:00:33) Kerry: so i'll ttyl
(21:00:35) Mystra1215: How exactly do you think you're going to acheive that?
(21:00:50) Kerry: idk she said she didnt agree with them either and was going to ttalk to the ac
(21:00:56) Kerry: and to come talk to her again at 9
(21:00:58) Mystra1215: hahahahahahahahaha
(21:00:59) Kerry: so i'm going
(21:01:01) Mystra1215: Good luck with that.
(21:01:01) Mystra1215: Later.

So what the hell do I do? I'm considering calling up the health center at her college and being like "Hey, can you stage an intervention with this kid or throw her into a psych ward or something just so she can see what it's like and stop being all damsel-in-distress-y?"

What do I do, internets? What do I do?

ETA: Also, I'm going to be so fucking mad at that school if they waive the fine for her. She needs to learn some goddamned responsibility.

headdesk

the.wanlorn@gmail.com — Sun, 12 Nov 2006 20:12:34 GMT

You guys. This is not the kind of wanking you were meant to be doing.

Sheesh.

The internet makes me hate you all

the.wanlorn@gmail.com — Sat, 11 Nov 2006 01:56:43 GMT

What the hell does freezer's reply to this comment even mean? *gets panties in a bunch because she has nothing better to do*

GIP!

the.wanlorn@gmail.com — Sat, 11 Nov 2006 01:47:30 GMT

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII have a new IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIcon!

And it is purty!

And nice!

And Aizen!

And yaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

In which the US health care system fucks me over

the.wanlorn@gmail.com — Fri, 03 Nov 2006 02:04:06 GMT

Today, my lovely doctor here at school gave me a ring to inform me that I had no health insurance.

You see, we're now trying Effexor, which needs preauthorization (or some such crap) because there is no generic brand. So she faxed the stuff to BCBS Monday. They called her today (Thursday) to tell her that I was no longer listed on that plan, thus they couldn't authorize the 'script.

...

I call my mum, because this is more important than me not speaking to my family. She says that we still have health insurance so I should still be covered.

Right. I call up BCBS. Bree is thankfully online and reassures me about what to do.

I fucking hate being on hold.

Finally, I get a real voice. She checks all the records (more being on hold) and determines that my parents never returned the Student Certification (that says "Yes, Erin is, indeed, still in school for real") that they were sent, thus my coverage ended November 1.

Right, that would be all well and good, except my parents never got anything in the sodding mail from them. Thankfully, I can get the form online. Right. I hang up, email everything to my mum. Call her to let her know she has to fill out the form I attached and get Da to sign it, then fax it to the number on the form.

I realize I have no clue when/if this will take effect. I call back BCBS. It'll take 5 business days. Sooo Friday Monday Tuesday Wednesday THURSDAY before I have health insurance. But it's okay! Because any medical anything that goes on from today until Thursday will still be covered!

Doesn't help me get meds, but okay.

Call back my doctor, update her on the situation. She says she'll resend the authorization request on Thursday. Then in only 3 business days, I can go get the 'script filled!

Only 3? That puts me at Friday Monday TUESDAY.

But wait! I work all day Tuesday and then I'm too tired on a good day to do anything else! So make that WEDNESDAY.

So, if I'm lucky, I will be able to get to CVS in slightly less than 2 weeks to get my meds. fasjdfjl;aksjf;lkja;klfja;klsjf I AM SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW.

Go ahead. Someone just TRY and tell me fucking socialized medicine or whateverthefuck it is is a bad thing. Go ahead.

PAR-TAY

the.wanlorn@gmail.com — Sun, 29 Oct 2006 20:11:29 GMT

I would link to the petition (sort of) over on B_P, but all y'all have already seen it.

Instead, I shall inform you guys that I HAVE PIE and I MADE IT ALL BY MYSELF. And that there is a Halloween party at my flat at 5pm. SO IF YOU ARE IN MASSACHUSETTS DO COME.

If you come early you will get to carve a pumpkin. Because I only got 4.

Will everyone just STOP BEING STUPID??

the.wanlorn@gmail.com — Sun, 29 Oct 2006 06:15:54 GMT

Today I took one look at wankitywank and lost the will to live.

O NO U GUYZ

the.wanlorn@gmail.com — Fri, 27 Oct 2006 22:01:19 GMT

I had an ATTACK OF CONSCIENCE in the shower and, for a few minutes, felt REALLY BAD for how we (we = F_W) have made Crazy Astral Snape Lady a mockery all over the internet!

Then I realized it was just a spot of indigestion.

Drama Llama

the.wanlorn@gmail.com — Sun, 22 Oct 2006 21:36:03 GMT

Er, yeah, so. I think I just cut myself off from my family.

Um. How do I go about finding a counselor? The school ones suck, else I'd just go to the health center. So, yeah.

the.wanlorn@gmail.com — Sun, 22 Oct 2006 16:47:44 GMT

Right, so. I was going home this weekend to make my Halloween costume. Since I had interviews, I had the car, which meant that I could drive to my bodhrán lesson. Finding a parking space in Porter Square? Oddly not that hard.

I haven't eaten all day, so I nab some peanut butter crackers whilst I'm waiting for the teacher to show up. He does, and we start my half hour lesson. Halfway into it, my phone rings. Since it's my sister, and we're taking a break for him to write out some patterns for me, I answer it.

"Mom just hit me."

Kerry's completely hysterical, but I manage to gather that she was talking about how she thinks about killing herself sometimes, and my mum went off a hit her. Also that her boyfriend's at work, so he can't come get her.

I tell her to get out of the house - go for a walk, go anywhere, just leave - and that I'll be there in an hour and a half. I'm in Cambridge; Cowtown is far away.

I hang up and I'm trying not to cry, because I'm scared and far away and don't know what to do and crying is my reaction to pretty much everything. Of course, it doesn't really work. My teacher is sort of quietly freaking out because A) he knows it's an emergency, and B) I'm crying. I can't get the zipper on my drum bag to work because I'm shaking too much.

Out the door I go; I get outside and I start sobbing. "I knew something like this would happen I knew it my family's insane I fucking hate my family I knew it" keeps running through my head. I call my mum, and experience the following conversation:
"What the FUCK is wrong with you?"
"I can't talk to you right now."
"Fuck. You." And then I hung up on her.

I get in the car and start driving. First thing I do (after, yanno, arguing with myself for a while about it) is call Lexi. I'm still crying because, well, I'm upset. And I don't know what to do. We talk for a while, I get some idea of what to do. Or, at least, some idea of "okay, well, I'm not supposed to know what to do."

It's not like they give you a primer on this at school. "What to do when your mum hauls off and hits your baby (even though you're only 16 months older than her so you shouldn't've had to be her mum) and you're almost 2 hours away"

I call Dot, too, because again, no clue what to do! And as much as Lexi helped second (and third and fourth and so on) opinions are nice. During that conversation, I calmed down a lot. Got composed. And started getting furious.

Whenever I know a fight's going to happen, I like to plan out every possible way it could go down in my head. That way, I'm prepared to respond to anything thrown at me. Had the most favorable one occured, it would involve the phrase "I swear, if you ever touch my sister again I will end you."

Once I hit Cowtown, I called Kerry to find out where she was, so I could pick her up. It turned out that Dad took her to work with him, and Mum had disappeared off somewhere. Which was good! Because it meant Kerry was out of the house! But I just made an hour-and-a-half drive in forty-five minutes for her. That averages out to something like 100mph the whole way. It's a miracle I didn't get pulled over.

Then again, if I had, I think that the officer would've let me off based on my countenance.

I go home and everything's quiet. I work off some stress (woo for raking leaves) and play some piano. Kerry calls again, and she's a lot calmer. Now I get a more full version of the story. Are you ready for this?

Kerry and Da were in the kitchen together. Kerry was talking about how much she hated school, how she was transfering in the spring, and lightly touched on how it was so bad she sometimes thought about killing herself.

Mum wasn't even in the room. Mum wasn't even on that floor. She was up in the attic-bedroom.

At some point, Mum appeared out of nowhere (well, obviously, out of upstairs. But very quickly. For no reason at all.) and hit Kerry on the leg, yelling things like "I don't want to hear you talking about that don't you dare say you're dropping out of school just to get back at us*" and such. Then she hit her in the arm (I'm assuming this all happened within 5 seconds or so).

Kerry was, of course, freaking the fuck out. She's never had to deal with any of this because she wasn't the whipping boy. So she's shrieking and having a panic attack. She runs and is bouncing off the walls because she's shaking so much. Mum's yelling "Why are you yelling what do you have to yell about shut up" and going after her.

So Da gets inbetween them, takes Kerry to her room. This is when Kerry calls me, so I don't know what happened next because she wasn't there to witness it. But at some point, Mum left.

And, of course, now I'm furious. This wasn't just "Oh, Mum slapped Kerry while she was talking to her because parents are freaky about their kid's mental health". This was "Mum went fucking psycho out of nowhere on my baby sister."

But I'm also kind of worried because clearly Mum snapped, so she might be having a mental breakdown and driving off a bridge somewhere. So I call her, again.
"Where are you?" <-- me
"Busy."
"... um, yes, but busy where?"
"I'm busy. I'll be home in a while. What do you want?"
"... to know where you are since no one else seems to know. Are you busy at Andrea's? Busy driving to Maureen's?"
"I'm busy. Bye."

Right, so, now she's playing her stupid fucking "I'm not going to tell anyone where I am even though they're worried" mind game. Whatever.

Kerry and Dad come home. Her boyfriend comes over. I talk to Dad to find out what was going on, since he was a semi-impartial observer. Even he has no clue, saying Mum just came out of nowhere. Lovely.

Jeremy calls. He's less than sympathetic, because A) he lived through them both being drunks and beating on him back when they were in their 20s, and B) Kerry could totally take Mum on. Which she could, if she weren't so freaked out. I mean, I've been fighting back since I was 10ish. But, yeah. I have the experience, she doesn't, so how could she know that?

We try to formulate a plan to get them both into therapy and on meds, but it's tough since really nothing short of dragging them physically will work. And, well, that won't keep them going.

Mum comes home and acts like nothing happened. Seriously. Like she was just out fucking about and came home and everything's completely normal. She gets pissed off because I'm not talking to her if it involves anything beyond a monosyllable answer, Kerry's avoiding her like the plague. So she sulks about.

I ship Kerry off with Patrick, and go to bed. I'm exhausted, obviously.

This morning, Kerry came home and was in her room, and Mum went in to ask if she needed anything at the grocery store. Kerry told her to get out, and came in and bitched to me about her acting like nothing had happened. At all.

So, um, yeah. My relaxing weekend turned into a fucking nightmare. Kerry's not coming home anymore, I'm not coming home anymore. I'm sick of being shoved into the middle of everything, and I'm washing my hands of all of it. They can deal with their own shit from now on.

I seriously can not deal with this right now.

Angry

the.wanlorn@gmail.com — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 03:31:09 GMT

I have this friend, right? This friend who refuses to admit when he's wrong. Over the past little bit, I've been thinking to myself "Self, maybe you are being unfair to this friend! Maybe the problem is you never prove without a doubt that he is incorrect! Clearly you are being too hard on Friend and need to stop being such a nincompoop."

So today I get proof that I am not insane. And, to make sure, I submit a short IM conversation for evidence.

Friend (10:48:40 PM): Spouse beginning or stopping work rates 1 higher than starting or stopping school.
the_wanlorn (10:48:53 PM): Wut.
Friend (10:49:11 PM): sexual dysfunction rates 40
the_wanlorn (10:49:20 PM): Beginning is a bajillion times less stressful than stopping for work. And the opposite for school. And school < work. Wut.
the_wanlorn (10:49:23 PM): Hahahahaha
Friend (10:49:58 PM): I'm more suprised that people find their spouse changing jobs more stressful than their own education
the_wanlorn (10:50:12 PM): Changing or stopping?
the_wanlorn (10:50:27 PM): 'Cause changing is wicked way different from stopping.
Friend (10:50:29 PM): I'm reducing "beginning or stopping" to "changing"
the_wanlorn (10:50:54 PM): I dunno that that's what they mean, then.
the_wanlorn (10:51:22 PM): Unless there's something separate for "souse getting fired/laid off/quitting"
Friend (10:51:49 PM): there's a "change in business"
the_wanlorn (10:52:10 PM): Then your interpretation would mean it'd be the same thing on there twice
the_wanlorn (10:52:14 PM): Except differently worded.

So, first off, am I insane? Or did I clearly "win" that argument?

Second off, guess when and what the next IM was?

When: 15-ish minutes later
What: Me sending a link to something.

the_wanlorn (10:52:14 PM): Except differently worded.
the_wanlorn (11:07:38 PM): jesus.
the_wanlorn (11:07:39 PM): http://dlisted.blogspot.com/2006/10/holy-boobs.html

*peeved* Excuse me while I go try to figure out why I am friends with this guy.

Fucking Laptop

the.wanlorn@gmail.com — Fri, 13 Oct 2006 20:55:52 GMT

I've been gone for the past couple days, dealing with my sodding laptop.

So, did I miss anything particularly awesome on any of the *_Wank comms? Or anything? Yeah?