Jason Tyler and Tomo Milicevic. Day two of training.
[July 20, 2010. Crossposted to t_milicevic.
[Takes place after Tomo's first day of training, which was followed by a sit down with Sebastian and Jason. Also follows Sebastian and Tomo's conversation, post-session.]
He feels better after his talk with his Master, but as Tomo steps into Citadel for his next session with the trainer, his nerves return. Checking in with the front desk, he finds out the room number and makes his way up. At least there will be a car automatically waiting to take him home when he's ready - or, rather when Jason decides he's ready.
Sliding the card into the reader, Tomo enters the room, slips out of his clothes then, after placing them in the corner, kneels in the center of the room. He takes the position he'd been shown the day before, straightens his back, and waits. There's no counting, no looking around the room, he concentrates on the image of his Master and stays quiet.
Jason's there. He was there before Tomo... not that Tomo can see him. Voyeur rooms. Very handy. He's got a mental countdown running, watching to see how Tomo handles being alone for a few minutes.
So far, so good. Tomo's waited on Sebastian before, played the waiting game while his Master toyed with him; right now, he's good. The quiet of the room is just that - quiet - it isn't going to get the better of him. He can get through this day. His Master trusts this man with him, so he can do this. Feeling his shoulders tense, Tomo takes a deep breath and blows it out slowly, his eyes searching for a mark on the floor.
He nods in approval as he watches Tomo tense and then adjust, relaxing his body and finding his focus again. Good. It's a start. He turns away from where he's watching Tomo and heads out the back door over the room, entering through the main door not thirty seconds later.
As the door opens, Tomo's muscles flex, tense under the skin, but he breathes, relaxing, as he keeps his eyes where they are. He doesn't move or look up, only hoping that the person who's entered the room is the same man as before. Tomo knows better than to speak this time and instead works on keeping his breathing level as he waits for the dominant to speak.
And Jason makes him wait for it, his footfalls almost silent as he walks a circle around Tomo, making note of his posture, then coming to stand in front of him again. "Nice," he says, nodding once. "Raise your head so that you can look at me, please."
The man's barefoot - Tomo can hear the soft pat of flesh against the floor in the quiet of the room - and wonders if the dominant will be as casual and relaxed as before. At the instruction, Tomo lifts his head, his eyes locking on the face of the man he now knows has the name of Jason. Somewhere in the building his Master is thinking of him and that knowledge, alone, helps.
"Good," Jason says. He doesn't bother to grab the chair this time, sinking carefully to his knees in a movement that's still as familiar to him as breathing, even though he no longer works as a submissive. And even though he's got one hand behind his back. "I've got something for you."
The fact that the man's suddenly eye to eye with him has Tomo's eyes widening but he doesn't move, his mind still half going over the fluidity of the man's motions. Biting down on the inside of his cheek to keep himself quiet, Tomo's eyes narrow at the comment, curiosity filling him. He knows if Jason is anything like his Master, that 'something' could be anything from a blindfold to a buttplug.
Jason almost laughs when he sees Tomo's eyes narrow. Considering that his master is Sebastian, he's not that surprised at the suspicion. He brings his hand from behind his back and displays the simple leather cuff for Tomo.
At the production of a cuff, Tomo's eyes widen, confusion laced with a hint of fear, and it's all he can do to not move away. He's seen boys and their Masters in the club and the ones that don't wear collars wear cuffs or anklets. Dark eyes dart from the cuff to the dominant and back. His Master is having someone else give him his collaring item? He shakes his head no.
The confusion is expected... the fear is not. Which makes it all the more important for Jason to explain what's going on. "Sebastian and I spoke after your last session, and worked on a few strategies for the following sessions," he says. "This is one of them. Sometimes, a cuff or a collar is a sign of claiming... a sign of belonging to a particular dominant. And sometimes, like a flogger, like a paddle or a cross, or a piece of rope, it's just a tool of the trade. That's what this cuff represents in this context--it's a tool.
"A strategy? Tomo stares at the cuff, confused as to what it is this man intends to secure him to that he'll only be secured by one arm. His body relaxes somewhat but he's like a deer in a clearing, ready to bolt at the first sign of danger. Tomo's eyes stay on the cuff as if it moves the smallest amount of space, it'll reach out and strike him. "Permission to speak."
"You have permission to speak," Jason says. He's fairly certain that they covered this yesterday, but he's expecting a certain amount of repetition. "You have permission to ask any question that you feel is necessary today, or at any point that you feel like you're unclear, or don't understand what's going on."
"Thank you." Tomo shakes his head as he reaches out to touch the cuff, a single finger trailing over the leather. "I don't understand. What kind of tool is it? It's not like a flogger or cane, it doesn't leave marks, and if sir's plan is securing this boy somewhere, shouldn't there be a pair?" His eyes move back to those of the dominant.
"All good questions," Jason says. "It's a training tool," he says. "It's a way to keep yourself focused on what you're doing, something tactile and real to stave off distraction." He holds up the cuff so that Tomo can see it more clearly.
"When I put this cuff on you, you're in role. I will address you as 'boy', and not as Tomo, and you will address me as 'sir'. You may speak if I have asked you a question, or to ask specific questions, and only then after asking permission to do so first. When it's off? You're Tomo. You can refer to me as Jason, you can make jokes, be casual. Sit instead of kneel. Ask questions without asking permission beforehand. That's the way in which it's a tool. And it's going to be going on and coming off many times today," Jason says.
"On and off many times? Not to be rude, sir, but is the point of that to confuse me?" Tomo's the type that, when the band's touring, he has to ask what city they're in. He has an awful, sinking, feeling that by the time the day's over, his mind will be exhausted and he'll have one hell of a case of motion sickness. "It's been ages since I wasn't...boy. Since my Master wasn't Master but Bastian." Tomo looks at the cuff and slowly nods. "This boy'll do his best to...not fuck up," he adds with a soft grin.
"No, it's not to confuse you," Jason says, not reacting to the bluntness. The cuff isn't on, after all. "The point of it is to clarify things for you. There are levels and layers to submission, to being someone's boy," he says. "Part of you is always Sebastian's boy. But there are times when formality and a certain set of behavior is required, and times when that kind of stricter behavior can be set aside," he explains. "It's important for you to be able to distinguish the difference."
Thinking the explanation over for a moment, he nods. "The difference in a quiet dinner at home and my kneeling at his feet at Citadel. I understand." That's a difference that Tomo knows and understands, just as when his Master changes into those black leather boots that make him melt. "You're not gonna thwap me on the ear if I call you sir when the cuff's off, are you?" he asks with a soft chuckle.
"Nope," Jason says. "I have other methods," he adds, very mysteriously. "But in all seriousness, it's important for you to remember what title, or lack of title, to use with a person, whether you're in role or not. When you're actually kneeling and full-out in role, it's generally appropriate to use the words 'sir', 'ma'am', or 'miss' when you're speaking to a dominant. But for some people, that won't be appropriate. They'll want you to call them something else. Or it's possible that Sebastian won't want you to use a title when you're referring to anyone but him," he adds.
"So when you're not wearing the cuff, I expect you to call me Jason. And there will be consequences if you don't," he adds. "That's not something to be afraid of either. Our world, this world, it's full of consequences... of action and reaction. When you do something wrong, and there's a consequence, it brings it full circle, and allows you to move on. It ends that moment so you don't keep carrying it with you. Does that make sense?"
Tomo's eyes widen for a moment at the idea of the 'other methods' and his mind starts to go wild. This man seems to have a very passive, but completely evil, streak, which could mean those ways involve a whip or Tomo in high heels - both are scary. "My Master, if I speak when I'm out with him, usually has me use sir," he chuckles, "not too many cases for the ma'am part, but I understand." And Tomo is actually quite glad for the lack of 'ma'ams' in his life. "Lately he's had me try to stay quiet. I do okay...sometimes."
Oh, he's more than familiar with the whole 'consequence' thing and the action and reaction of when he does something wrong. Newton described Tomo's life perfectly. "Oh, I understand that part perfectly. When I've messed up and..Master's put me in the white room, he always tells me when it's over and calls me his good boy. I know I'm forgiven then."
"Good," Jason says. "So--before we start, and before we put the cuff on, any more questions you'd like to ask? Anything unclear... anything that you're not sure about?" he asks. "And Tomo, you're going to be corrected here. That's a huge part of what we're doing... finding the areas where you've got blind spots so that the next time something like that comes up, you're better prepared. It's your job to accept the correction. It's my job to correct you. And the only one who gets to punish you right now? Is me. You don't have that right."
"No," he says quietly, "no other questions that I can think of. None that jump out anyway." Tomo blinks at the way the dominant speaks about punishment and the fact that it's not Tomo's right to punish himself for fucking up. It's definitely a different way of putting it but Tomo catches the meaning. "Don't beat myself up over messin' up. Understood," he says through the hint of a smile. His eyes take in the cuff and he breathes in. Calling the man 'sir' won't be an issue, calling him by his given name, laughing and joking, could be a whole new set of obstacles.
"Good," he says. "Remember--you can ask questions," Jason says. "I don't want you worrying about something or unclear about what I've asked you to do. But I do want you to consider carefully before you ask a question if it's a necessary one. There's a difference between asking me to explain how I want you to kneel, and asking me if you have to do what I've told you. You do. And if you can't? That's what your safeword is for. I expect you to use it, if you need to."
The idea of making use of his safeword for something had never even entered Tomo's mind, he's only rarely used it and he's not about to make a habit of it now. "Don't ramble, in other words," Tomo says with a chuckle. He nods, eyes moving to the cuff once more. "I can ask questions if I need to but don't ramble, try not to worry if I mess up and...my safeword." Though my using it isn't even in the plans. "So...when you put it on, I do what? Just stay here?" It's a tool, just like one he uses in cooking, that's all the cuff is. He's still not fond of the classes, but his Master made sense; he hates when that happens.
"Exactly," Jason says. "And when you've got the cuff on, you do what I tell you to do," Jason says. "For what we're working with right now, when you're entering a situation that involves you being submissive--walking into a room filled with kinky people, or waiting for a dominant to enter a room, let's say--your default should be to kneel. Assume a basic kneeling position, make sure that you can hold that position comfortably, pick a focus spot on the floor, and go still and quiet until you're directed to do otherwise. I have another couple of questions before we start, but for the moment, is all that clear?"
Tomo gives a cheeky grin. "Learned my lesson on snooping in a room when waiting for a dominant to enter it cause sometimes you don't like what you find." He thinks he understands the use of the cuff and it's meaning, he only hopes that he can remember the rules of it in the middle of everything else. "Pretty used to kneeling, not like you have me do it, but kneeling next to my Master at Citadel is pretty common." He pauses then nods. "So far so good. Yeah."
"Okay--good. I don't know if Sebastian uses the color system with you or not, but for today, I'm giving you the use of 'yellow'. For our purposes, 'yellow' will mean that you need to stop, pause, take a break, or ask a question. If you give me a 'yellow', everything pauses, and that's when you'd ask permission to ask me a question." Jason looks at Tomo and focuses on him a bit more seriously.
"If you need things to stop, that's when I want you to use red or safeword. If you power through when you're in pain in a bad way--a muscle cramp, for example--or don't ask a question that you need to ask, I'll be seriously displeased."
Though he's never used the color system, he knows what it is and as Jason explains the rules, Tomo nods. "Yellow to pause something then ask permission to ask a question. Understood. And no, Master's not really about the colors with me, he just checks along the way to make sure I'm okay." As he listens, Tomo comes to one conclusion; making this man displeased, he thinks, would be a bad, bad idea. "I won't push through something like that. Promise."
"Good," Jason says, rocking back onto his heels and standing up in one smooth, fluid motion. "I'd like you to stand up, give your legs a shake, really make sure your body is relaxed, and when you're ready, I'd like you to kneel for me, and offer me your arm."
Again, while Tomo isn't a bull in a china hutch, he's nowhere near as languid as the man in front of him and he watches in a sort of awe as Jason rocks back and stands with no more effort than Tomo expends to scratch his nose. He nods and pushes up, then stretches his arms up over his head, working his back and thighs as he does. "Will the cuff last through all the days? There're two different classes." He can finally say that without actually feeling nauseous from nerves.
Rocking side to side with his hips, Tomo takes a deep breath then pauses and lets his eyes focusing on the other man. Exhaling slowly, Tomo sinks to his knees, adjusts his posture slightly then, looking up, holds out his arm.
"If I choose to use it, yes," Jason says, waiting until Tomo's settled and holding his arm out before he moves. He reaches for Tomo's arm and fastens the simple leather cuff around his forearm. It's tight enough that he'll always be able to feel it, but not so much that it'll restrict movement. And it's uncomplicated enough that Jason can remove it and put it back on without a lot of fuss and bother.
He watches quietly, curiosity growing, as the dominant fastens the cuff around his arm. It doesn't fit how he'd expected it to fit but, then again, he's not sure what he'd expected. The weight is odd against his arm but not so much to be distracting, then again, he thinks that may be exactly what it's for. The moment the cuff is on, he takes the position from before and goes still. He can do this, he can hold the position; it's the speaking when it comes off that has him worried.
And Jason gives him a nod of approval, then walks away. This room isn't nearly as bare as the other, although most of the toys and supplies are hidden away in cupboards lining the walls. He starts moving about and collecting things, keeping Sebastian's limits for Tomo very carefully in mind while he does it. And making sure that Tomo can't see anything.
Tomo may be still, he may have his eyes locked firmly on the floor in front of him but his ears are working fine and he can hear every movement that the dominant makes in the room - doors and drawers opening and closing - but Tomo doesn't move. He's not sure if the man's actually gathering items or simply trying to fluster him but if the man's anything at all like his Master, guessing won't do him any good anyway.
"Your master tells me that your control is good," Jason says over his shoulder, not inviting comment or asking a question, just stating information. "I'm glad to hear it. That means I won't have to worry about you coming without permission."
...Coming without permission? Oh fuck me. Tomo's not sure on a scale of poor to great where he falls, but he can manage to be fucked by his Master without losing control. No matter that his palms now have the permanent marks from his own nails after a couple of particularly rough moment. It's not a question, however, so Tomo inhales slowly and blows it out, eyes still on the floor.
He can hear the shift in Tomo's breathing, but there's no change other than that. Good. It's a definite start. Jason lets a few things clatter onto the table, then goes over to Tomo. "Chin up and kneel up, please, let me get a look at you," he says.
Lifting his head, Tomo's eyes find the face of the man in front of him and he kneels up, biting back a moan as the sudden shift of his body weight to his already bruised knees brings a shock of pain. He breathes deep but doesn't move.
"Breathe through it," Jason murmurs. "Some of the things your Master may ask you to might not make sense at times. They may hurt, they may embarrass you. They may not be something that you personally want to do. But as long as they fall within your limits, as long as you feel safe, you will do them anyway. You will offer him that gift, and trust him to let you fly, without letting you fall. I am not your Master, but I am here representing him, and his wishes. I ask for your trust." Jason lets that linger for a moment, then steps back a pace. "Stand, please. Legs spread shoulder width apart, fingers interlaced and behind your head."
Representing his Master and his Master's wishes... As hard as it is for Tomo in these classes, to come here and give over like this, he knows if his Master didn't trust in this man, and what would happen, he'd never let it go on. And he knows what goes on, his Master will have given permission for it to happen. Tomo's not sure if that settles or unnerves him. He trusts his Master and, by proxy, this man, but the unknown can be scary as hell.
He watches the dominant for a moment then pushes to stand, his heart already racing; Tomo knows this stance, knows what it's for. Focusing on keeping his breathing as level as possible, Tomo widens his stance then laces his fingers behind his head and waits.
Jason walks a circle around him, murmuring approvingly. His form's good and although Jason can tell that Tomo's pulse is racing, it doesn't show as nerves, in this moment. "You're ticklish... I'll have to remember that," Jason says, although he's still not touching him. Just close enough to give him the illusion.
He's fallen into the trap before of mistaking a statement for a question and he's not about to now. Tomo's just not sure if the dominant is making mental note of his being ticklish to torture him with it or so the wrong touch won't send him into orbit. As he's circled, Tomo suddenly knows what the animals in the zoo feel like.
Jason makes another circle, drawing it out. "Do you like pain, Tomo?" he asks, oh-so-casually.
Breath catching in his chest, Tomo closes his eyes for a moment. He's never taken pain under anyone except for his Master and his stomach turns into knots. He knows what type of pain to expect from his Master, he doesn't from this dominant. Master trusts this man. I have to as well. "Yes sir," Tomo says, voice quiet but surprisingly steady.
"Good," Jason says, just leaving it at that. "Tomo, I'd like you to kneel again. Keep looking up at me," he says, heading over to one of the tables and collecting a few items, back turned to Tomo.
"Yes sir," he says as he kneels down then tips his head upward, watching the dominant as the man moves away. Tomo's not at all sure what's going to happen, what sort of 'pain' this man has in mind, but he's here and he'll do his best to handle whatever it is.
"Good boy," Jason says, turning back around and coming to stand in front of Tomo, a good sized plug, and a few packets of lube in his hands. "I assume that you know what to do with these," he says, holding them out to Tomo. It's time for a few more distractions.
Tomo watches the dominant and his eyes fly open wide as he sees the plug and the lube. Oh, he knows very well what to do with them but it's not something he does often. "Yes sir," he says then pauses. "Permission to speak," he says, reaching for the items, his nerves growing. Did I ask right? Fuck.
"Permission granted. Would you like to ask a question?" Jason says, giving him the sort-of-subtle reminder.
His eyes remain on the toys for a moment longer then look to the dominant. "Oh, sorry sir, yes sir. A...a question. How fast do I have to be? This boy's not really used to plugs, sir." The thing isn't humongous but it's not small by any means and Tomo's already worrying over the whole 'kneel with a toy in' thing. It also hits him like a freight train that he didn't even think about prepping before he came to the session. He opens the first packet and squeezes the lube out onto the toy.
Jason reaches out and gently takes the plug and lube from Tomo, sets them down, then reaches for the cuff and slips it off his wrist. "Reboot," he says, plunking down onto the floor on his butt. "What went wrong there?"
Watching as the plug and the lube leave his hands and the leather cuff is remvoed, Tomo groans inwardly. Well fucking hell. So much for doing better. "This boy should have said yellow, then asked permission to ask a question then waited for you to give it." Tomo gnaws at his lip for a moment. "And I was rambling," he murmurs.
"Yeah, you were," Jason says. "And the cuff is off, which means..."
Which means... Tomo stares down to his wrist for a moment then mentally gives himself a smack in the head. "The cuff's off so that means casual. Sorry. Bit hard to just shift gears like that." He thinks for a moment. "So, one 'permission to speak' equals one question and only one question."
"Technically? I haven't given you permission to speak," Jason says. "I've given you permission to ask questions. So if you'd wanted to do that right? You'd have asked permission to ask a question, and then you'd have asked if you had permission to speak," he says. "And even then, your question still should have been phrased formally, unless I gave you permission to speak out of role. Which I won't be doing at any time that the cuff is on. Plus, you were rambling and editorializing," Jason adds.
Trying to follow the explanation is actually rather dizzying and Tomo can actually feel his eyes crossing as he listens. Blinking several times, he stares for a moment. Technically he doesn't have permission to speak? "So say yellow, then permission to speak. Is permission to speak and permission to ask a question the same thing?" Reaching up, he rubs the bridge of his nose; he's going to need a dose of Tylenol and maybe a couple of shots after this whole thing is over. "Speak formally. That means use the 'this boy' thing, right?" Closing his eyes, he wonders if there just isn't a roll of duct tape near.
"Using formal speech is part of speaking formally, yes," Jason says, his voice neutral, patient. "But it also means stating your questions clearly and succinctly, without stammering over them. Taking a moment to think before you ask, instead of diving straight into it. Also, when you ask a question, your full focus should be on your dominant. There's no reason to be fiddling with something in your hands, or continuing to get ready to use something when you haven't yet cleared the way you're going to use it."
Cleared the way I'm going to use it? That statement blows Tomo's mind since there is, as far as he knows, only one way that damn plug's going in and only one spot for it to do just that. "Understand, sir. Uhm, I mean Jason. Right? The cuff's off, so it's Jason." This is going to have him seeking therapy, he thinks. "I'm sorry. Damn. When the cuff's on, formal speech only, yellow to pause then when you say yes I can ask permission to ask a question, then ask the question. Maybe it'd be better to just keep all the questions until the end else we'll be here all day," Tomo says with a dry chuckle.
"When the cuff is on, formal everything," Jason says. "A safeword is never subject to the rules on asking permission for speech. You don't say 'permission to speak, sir', 'permission granted', 'SAFEWORD'," Jason demonstrates. "So yes. Yellow to pause, and then everything stops, for the moment. Permission to ask a question, I grant it, then you ask it. And no, I don't want you keeping the questions to the end," Jason says.
"I don't want you powering through when you're unsure about something, and possibly having it be problematic. I want you to learn how to do this properly. It's going to take some effort and time, and you're going to have to keep your head in the game."
Taking a deep breath and blowing it out, Tomo mentally makes a note to have the Citadel car that's taking him home drop him off with a bottle of liquor. "Formal everything," he says with a nod. "Will do my best to remember it, sir, er...fuck. I've never been like this where the other man wasn't called sir or master, and both those were Sebastian." His mind goes to Gui and he bites back a snarl. "And no holding questions until the end. Understood."
"There's a reason why we're practicing having you call me Jason," he says. "Do you know why that is?" They might have discussed it earlier, but it's worth restating.
Tomo shrugs slightly. "Imagine it's like the cuff thing. Then again, it could be just to mess with my head," he says with a grin. "Sorry, rambling again. No, not really." If he hunts, maybe he can find that roll of duct tape. Surely there's one somewhere here.
"When I start messing with your head? You'll know it," Jason says, something just to the left of danger flashing in his eyes. "So no. It's actually incredibly important, believe it or not. It's essential that you be able to remember to call a dominant by their preferred title. Some people take that very seriously, and getting it wrong will make you and, by extension, your master, look bad. Some people do not want to be called 'Sir' or 'Ma'am'. The reasons for that may be aesthetic, personal, or serious. They may restrict that title to only their particular submissive. They may not wish to be addressed formally at all. To fail to do so is an insult."
Clamping his lips shut, Tomo stares at the other for a moment, the look in the man's eyes making him fidget. "They don't want to be called that? I never knew that. It's always been that if Master sent me to someone in the club. Just...didn't think. Sorry," he murmurs, heaving a deep sigh. "I don't want him looking bad because of me." ...or thinking I'm too much trouble, Tomo thinks, Gui's words coming back to haunt him. "That's the last thing I want. I'll do better."
"Some don't," Jason reiterates. "And in general, if someone has a problem with it, or doesn't want you using a specific title, they will let you know. Default, in our world, is 'sir', 'ma'am', and 'miss'. The point I'm making is that if you're instructed to use a specific title, or not to use one at all, you need to remember that. Whether you're in headspace or not. And this is why we're doing this, remember?" Jason adds. "So that we can identify your blind spots, and teach you how to push past distraction, so that even when something catches you off guard, you can still respond appropriately.
"Blind spots," he says with a nod, "yeah." Tomo knows he has issues with distractions and he honestly hopes he can do this, that he can succeed in these classes and make his Master happy. "Honestly," he says quietly, "I don't go there that often. Headspace, I mean. Or at least I don't think I do. But, I understand what you mean." Tomo takes a deep breath. Can people go there without knowing? Yellow, then ask then ask again but only short questions and nothing extra and holy hell he's already confused. Another deep breath. "Ready to try again," he says, eyes on the other man.
Jason manages not to sigh, but it's hard. Good thing he's perfected his neutral mask. "I think you're thinking too much," he admits. Which means he needs to come up with a different plan. "I'm shifting what we're doing for the day," he decides. "Don't worry--everything'll be perfectly clear," he promises. "I'm going to give you this cuff back in a few minutes, but first I want you to stand again, shake your legs out, stretch... just basically let's start again."
The irony in the other man's statement is that Tomo feels like he's not thinking at all, that if he were he'd be getting this a hell of a lot better than he is. "Start again? Okay." Tomo knows if he's caused the man to actually change what he had planned then he must be getting is massively wrong. Pushing up, he does what Jason calls a 'reboot' and stretches his arms upward, bends forward then, letting his arms come to his sides, stands straight and waits to see what's next. "I'll get this. I will."
"Yep. Start again," Jason says, shifting up as well and stretching out. "And you will get it. Don't worry about that part. I'm particularly stubborn. We're just switching routes to get to the same place," he says.
"What I want you to do now, once I put the cuff on, is react. Hear what I'm saying, and do it. It's important for you to listen and make sure you know what I'm asking you to do, but I don't want you to spend a bunch of time considering it, or getting tangled up in that head of yours," Jason says. "If you cannot do what I'm asking you to do, or I ask you to do something and you don't know what I've asked you to do, then you safeword, or you give me a yellow."
"Now--be clear," Jason adds, turning back to look at Tomo. "You don't need to understand why I'm asking you to do it. You don't need to understand why I'd choose to ask you what I'm going to ask you. It doesn't have to make sense. As long as you are clear on what you've been asked to do, and can physically do it, I expect you to do it. Does that make sense?"
There's a certain amount of sheer and utter horror filling Tomo as he listens to the dominant's words and something tells him he has every right in the world to feel that way. It's the whole 'doesn't have to make sense' thing that shakes him but he watches Jason and nods. "Understood. You say and I do." Tomo sees it as a sort of sexual word association game; he was never very good at those.
Glancing at the cuff, he slowly holds out his wrist. "If I can physically do what you tell me to, I'll do it unless I'm confused, then I say yellow. Then ask to ask a question." When he gets through here, he's getting a drink and sitting down and watching Sesame Street so he doesn't have to think.
"Yep," Jason says. "Got it," he adds, giving Tomo another moment or two, then placing the cuff back on his wrist. "Sit down on the floor, legs straight out."
Wiggling his wrist a moment as the cuff is put back on, Tomo looks up at the order then takes a seat on the floor, his legs straight out in front of him. He shifts slightly, hands going to his lap, then goes still. Tomo's not fooled one bit but he's glad for the slow start.
"Not bad--could be quicker, could be more accurate," Jason says. "I want you to move efficiently, rather than rushing, and I want you to take less time fidgeting into place. Good start though. Go bring me three red condoms."
Mind flashing back to another time with his Master, Tomo looks up; he's not about to misjudge this one. "Yellow."
Jason's surprised, but it doesn't show. He nods at Tomo.
Tomo's eyes dart downward. "Permission to ask a question."
"Permission granted," Jason says. "Go ahead."
Tomo goes over the words in his head, then looks up to the dominant. "May this boy stand or is he meant to butt-walk to the nightstand?" Tomo sadly admits that it wouldn't be the first time he's butt-walked, but it's not the quickest way of doing things, or the most efficient.
Although speed and lack of over thinking is part of the whole point of this exercise, Jason has to admit to himself that he should have expected that Tomo'd wonder something like that. "I want you to walk, unless I specifically order you otherwise," he says. "If I want you to crawl, or move in any other manner, I will tell you. I will try and be as specific as possible."
"Thank you, sir." Tomo pushes to stand then goes to the bedside table. Digging through the bowl, he's actually tickled, and a bit amazed, that they really do make condoms in the colors of a rainbow. Attaining the last red one in the bowl, he turns and makes his way back to the dom where he holds out his hand.
"Thank you," Jason says, taking them from Tomo, and dropping one of them on the floor. "Crawl from here to the other side of the room on your hands and knees, pushing that condom with the end of your nose."
Tomo very nearly giggles at the order. He's never pushed a condom with his nose before, though he has done pushed an egg at a party once. Gaze going to the condom, Tomo sinks to his hands and knees, spreads his hands outward and drops his head. This man and his Master are definitely friends; they both have very strange ideas. He begins moving, eyes on the wall in front of him.
"A little more quickly, please," Jason says, putting just a bit of snap in his voice to hurry Tomo along.
Making use of his long legs and arms, Tomo quickens his pace, his strides lengthening; the room feels larger like this than it looked standing. He finally nears the wall, pushes the condom packet up against it, then turns to look back at the dominant.
"Pick it up, hold it against the wall."
He doesn't sigh, but he wants to. He feels a bit like he's back in kindergarten. Picking up the condom packet, Tomo presses it against the wall and waits. He already has a sinking feeling he knows what's coming next.
"Do you know what I'm going to ask you to do, boy?"
Just as sure as he says he does, he'll be wrong. Tomo glances from the condom to the dominant then shakes his head.
"No? I was sure you did... you looked like you did. Hold it to the wall with your nose. I want a perfect kneel while you do it."
And there it is, he was right, only he didn't see the kneeling coming into play; he should have. Turning, Tomo presses his nose to the condom packet, touches his knees to the wall as he spreads them wide. He finds quickly that keeping his back straight isn't happening since he has to lean forward to keep his nose against the wall. Tomo goes into the kneel from before, his back as straight as possible, his ass poking out and up in the process.
"Don't move. Don't let the condom move."
It's not the position he's used to, not here or with his Master, and it doesn't take long before his lower back is screaming at him. Tomo holds the position though. He's not ready to give up yet. It's a position, not the end of the world.
Something small and light bounces off the back of Tomo's head.
What the fuck?! Tomo's eyes fly open wide. Whatever hit him didn't hurt but the shock of it was a definite surprise. His mouth opens then closes as the movement causes his nose to move. Tomo presses a bit closer to the wall, inhales deep then slowly blows it out.
And another one hits him. And another... then one on the small of his back. If Jason manages to get one to stick against Tomo's ass crack, he's awarding himself fifty points.
Tomo isn't sure what's hitting him, but he can feel it hit then bounce but he doesn't hear it bounce once it hits the floor. It's not heavy enough to hurt but it's more than a little annoying. Trying his best to hold steady, to ignore the things pinging off his back, Tomo begins to count.
Jason grins. He's doing well, especially because Jason knows exactly how fucking annoying this is. He licks the next one, which means it'll stick for a moment or two, before falling off.
Whatever hits him next sticks and Tomo's mind immediately goes to those little toys you get from machines that stick to walls then walk down them. Okay, that's just fucking gross! His nose itches, his lower back is killing him and whatever is now slowly rolling its way down his backside is driving him batty!
He can see the bit of tension starting to coil in Tomo's body. There are two ways that this is going to go, and Jason's just hanging out to see which one before he moves on. Either Tomo'll breathe through it and roll with it, or, well. He won't. The next one is good and soggy, and makes a satisfying noise when it lands just at the small of his back.
He breathes in and out, trying to work through the small cramp that seems bent on settling at the small of his back. Whatever is being tossed at him, he thinks he can handle. He's been on a bus with Jared and Shannon after all and Matt when he was still with the band. Tomo's seen and been part of his share of gross, but his muscles aren't used to this position. The wet whatever-it-is hits, sticks and then makes its way to the crack of his ass and stops. He tenses and that's all she wrote. "Yellow." The moment the word leaves his mouth, Tomo wishes he could take it back.
"Stand up, come here, give me your arm," Jason says immediately.
Fuck, fuck! He tells himself he could have gone on longer but his back muscles are screaming in fury at him and it takes a moment before he can straighten and push to stand, groaning as he does. Eyes downcast, Tomo moves to stand in front of the other man, the arm with the cuff on it out, his other hand at his back.
Jason takes off the cuff, sets it down, then offers Tomo a small bowl. "Marshmallow?"
Rubbing at the small of his back, Tomo cocks a brow upward then shakes his head. "No thank you." Well, it's definitely not as gross as it could have been. "This boy tried to go longer, sir. The position was just..." He stretches, muscles finally relaxing.
Blinking at first, Tomo stares then it clicks. "Oh. Sorry. I tried to go longer." He holds up his wrist. "Cuff's off." He knew from the beginning that the whole 'shifting gears in the middle' thing was going to get him and it did.
"Were you in pain, or was it uncomfortable?" Jason asks, eating another handful of mini marshmallows.
"Bordered on pain," he says quietly, the fact that he had to stop still not setting well with him. "The muscles were trying to spasm. Tried to breathe through it but..." Tomo shrugs slightly, massively disappointed in himself.
"So you were in pain, it wasn't enjoyable for you, and you couldn't breathe through it?" Jason lists off. "And... what do we do when we get to the point where we can't do something any more?"
Tomo stares at the other man for a moment as the items are listed. Isn't that what I just said? Looking down for a moment at his wrist where the cuff left a slight ring, Tomo sighs. "Say yellow or safeword to pause or stop the act, sir."
"Exactly," Jason says. "Good job. If you'd kept going, I'd have safeworded for you, then kicked your ass."
"Thank you." Tomo looks up at the man's words then bursts out laughing. "Understood sir. Will put that to memory for later use." He has no doubt, either, that the man in front of him could very well, and very easily, do just that. Tomo's laughter dies and he looks down. "Do you know that I think I've only safeworded once, maybe twice."
"Most people have," Jason says, eating another handful of marshmallows. "And usually, that's really stupid," he adds, talking with his mouth full. "It's a tool. It's meant to be used when necessary. People shouldn't be afraid to use it. I teach classes on it." He aims a marshmallow at Tomo's forehead and pings it dead center. "And stop calling me goddamned sir when the cuff's off, or I'll tell Bast not to whip your ass for two weeks." Despite the casual wording, there's something in his eyes that says he'll do it.
"You teach a class on using... hey!" Reaching up and laughing, Tomo rubs at the spot where the marshmallow hit. It's odd that most would threaten by saying they'd have someone beat your ass, not that they'd have them 'NOT' beat it. He can't help grinning; maybe smiling and joking when the cuff's off isn't as hard as he thought it'd be. "Understood," he says with a grin. "You're a good aim, ya know." He shrugs again. "It's not like I'm trying to make a point when I don't safeword. I just...don't."
"If you were pushed to it, would you?" Jason asks. "What do you think? If you were doing something, and wanted to please your Master, but you felt that you genuinely couldn't go on? If you had a leg cramp hit you?"
Tomo thinks about it for several moment then looks at Jason and shrugs. "Honestly, I'm not sure. This was the first time I've ever had to because of something like that. Once was when Master was tickling me. He's not much on having me hold a pose, so the muscle thing never really has come into play. Until now."
"It's something to think about," Jason says. "And it's important. No dominant worth shit wants to damage a boy. Takes the resale value off," he drawls, then winks.
"Well, we wouldn't want that now, would we? That whole pre-owned thing and all..." Tomo finally reaches and snags a marshmallow; he decides he really doesn't want to know what made the things stick to him. "I know Master doesn't wanna hurt me like that, not like a damaging way."
"'Course he doesn't. Bast knows his shit," Jason says, blunt but simple. "We're gonna start this again in a few minutes. Same sort of thing. I'm gonna tell you to do stuff, you're going to do it promptly and efficiently, unless you don't understand the technical aspect of what I've asked, or unless you cannot do it. Got that?"
As much as Tomo hates to admit it, he's thinking he's misjudged the other man. Then again, he also knows that Jason has every right, while he's here with him, to beat his ass and make his life hell. It's just nice that he hasn't chosen to. Tomo nods as he stretches then looks around. "Mind if I use the bathroom first?"
"I should say no, and make you push past it, but I'm not gonna... the distractions that get thrown at you are gonna be thrown at you by me," Jason says, smirking. "Go. You've got two minutes. I'm counting."
"Thrown. Ha ha, very funny." Tomo's eyes widen as he realizes he's on a timed 'piss stop' and he turns on his heels and makes for the restroom. If the man's even contemplating making him hold it, he's more like Sebastian than Tomo even suspected.
Breathing a sigh of relief, Tomo washes up and steps from the bathroom. Going to piss when naked always throws him since it never fails that he reaches for a zipper that doesn't exist. "So, did I make time?" he asks as he moves toward Jason.
"Barely," Jason says. Not that he's wearing a watch, or anywhere near a clock, or in any way looking like he's counting. But he knows. "I'm gonna push you harder this time, and I want you to strive to meet that, instead of worrying about meeting it, okay? Because sometimes, I'm gonna push hard enough that you can't."
He grins at Jason's words but the grin fades slightly as he goes to moments where his Master's put him in scenes that he couldn't win at, that no matter what there was no way to achieve what was asked of him. "Been in that way before with my Master," he says as he comes to stand in front of the other man. "Puts me in spots where there's no winning, no accomplishing what he asks. I hate it." Tomo thinks for a moment then nods. "But, I understand. I'm ready." I hope. He holds his wrist out to the dominant.
"Tomo... it's not about winning, or making it to the goal," Jason says, holding off on putting the cuff on, for the moment. "Sometimes, it's very much about the journey. In training, in particular, it's important to figure out where your lines and limits are. Because particularly at this point? You have a right to those limits. It's not because I'm a sadistic fuck who gets off on seeing you screw up."
For the first time, Tomo blinks and his hand drops to his side. "I've never thought about my own limits. I know a few, I mean, but they're not anything Master would do anyway. It's not like I set out telling myself I'm not gonna safeword or pause the scene, I just...get lost in it," he says with a slight shrug. Tomo chuckles at the man's last words. "I know you're not. Or, I'm hoping you aren't," he adds with a grin.
"You'd be surprised when things come up," Jason says. "Take yesterday when I touched you and it tickled you, made you laugh. Maybe it's not a limit, exactly, but it's something to consider."
Tomo nods at that, a short chuckle leaving him. "That's why I safeworded the one time. Master was tickling me and..." his cheeks blush brilliant pink, "I nearly wet myself from it. So, yeah, I understand that part." He's the first to admit that there have been things with Bastian that just a couple of years ago he'd have probably ran screaming, but he trusts his Master and wants to experience everything he can with the man. "You're gonna tickle me again, aren't you?" he asks, eyes widening.
"I reserve the right to make you wonder," Jason says, smirking. "But not right now. Right now, I need to get you to do two things, which sound like they're opposites, but they're really not. I need you to listen, and react, instead of overthinking, and missing the details."
Tomo breathes a soft sigh of relief as he nods. "Listen and react. Understood." He knows Jason's right in that he gets wrapped up in the wrong things. He watches Jason for a moment. "Now?"
"Now," Jason says, holding out his hand. "Your arm, please."
Taking a deep breath, Tomo holds out his arm. He knows he can do this, he knows he can do what's asked of him, now if he can just shut his brain off and accomplish it, he'll be doing good.
Jason fastens the cuff to Tomo's wrist, and gives his hand a very brief squeeze before he lets it fall. "Kneel, please."
Surprised just the slightest at the light squeeze, Tomo gives a quick smile then sinks to his knees, slipping into the position he's been shown. He lifts his eyes for a moment, meeting the dominant's gaze then lets them lower. There's a small part of him still wishing for that roll of duct tape, however.
He gives a very slight sound of approval, then starts moving around the room again, making noise as he clatters about with things, dropping a few onto the floor.
Tomo hopes the sound he hears from the other man is one of approval, deciding since he's not been told to stand and 'reboot' that it must be. Feeling the dominant move away from him, Tomo just barely catches himself before his eyes follow. He focuses on a spot on the floor as his mind tries to determine the sounds and what they're coming from. Flinching just the slightest as the first thing hits the floor, Tomo breathes out and relaxes. He's used to loud noises; this, he can do.
"I dropped things--come put them in order by size--crawl," Jason barks out.
Now Tomo really does feel like he's back in kindergarten. At least he's not putting pegs in holes; he was never very good at that. Leaning forward and turning toward the dominan't voice, Tomo crawls forward, trying to get a look at everything before he reaches his destination.
Coming to a stop in front of the items - plug, paddle, crop, lube and a flogger - Tomo can't help but grin as he wonders if these are standard items every dom must have. Sort of a 'Dominant 101' type of thing. He puts the items in order - left to right - then looks up and waits.
"Next time, assume standard position, chin up, eyes lowered," Jason says. "You don't want to be seeking my approval. You're doing what you're doing because I've asked you to do it, not in order to gain something for yourself. Good speed, good job scanning what was in front of you and ordering it though," he adds, mixing criticism and praise. "Crawl to the opposite wall and kneel up, arms straight up, palms flat against the wall. Pick a spot on the wall and focus on it."
Not in order to gain something for yourself. Those words play over in Tomo's head then mix with the praise given. It's very much a give and take thing here and he can deal with that as he says his Master's words over in his head - it's not punishment, it's correction. Groaning inwardly at the idea of more crawling, Tomo turns and crawls to the opposite wall, his knees already screaming at him. Reaching the wall, he kneels up, puts his arms over his head, palms flush against the wall. Tomo can already tell this position is going to try him physically.
"Back straighter, please... there, like that," Jason says, as Tomo makes the minute correction. He backs up and leans against the opposite wall, directly behind Tomo, and slowly lowers his zipper, letting Tomo hear it. As though he could miss the groan a few moments later when Jason starts stroking his own cock.
The sounds that come from behind him as he does his best to focus on the wall is nothing more than the sounds he hears when his Master takes him to the club. This is something that Tomo knows he can handle, that he can ignore, however, he's not so sure about ignoring the fact that his fingers are already tingling. Closing his eyes for a moment, he breathes slowly, the wall is close enough to be out of focus making it hard to concentrate.
Jason watches Tomo, grinning when he sees that he's not really throwing him off at all. Good. One less thing to need to work on, and Jason's not the type to take it as an ego hit. Still, his pants are tight, so he's gonna take the opportunity to jerk off a little bit, sighing and leaning against the wall, only paying the barest attention to Tomo for the moment.
He can hear the dominant behind him, the sounds that the man exudes, and Tomo knows exactly what's happening. Letting his mind roam, he tries to actually focus on those sounds, the image that his mind creates to go with them, in hopes that the mental images might take his mind off the very fact that his fingers and hands are quickly falling asleep. Tomo doesn't move, his pose as close to flawless as he can get it, but his breathing deepens as he struggles with the position.
Jason gives it a little bit longer, then sighs as he moves his hand away, then tucks himself back into his pants. "Stand up, go get three items from the toy cabinet that are exactly the same, and place them on a table."
Opening his eyes, Tomo uses his forearms to push himself up, using the wall as support. At least the trip to the cabinet will give him enough time to hopefully get the blood back circulating in his fingers. Three items that are the same... Tomo moves toward the cabinet, whimpering quietly as the pins-and-needles sensation hits the tips of his fingers. Opening the door to the cabinet, he hunts for a moment then finds three dildos that are exactly the same length, color and shape. Tomo puts the items on the table then sinks down to return to the kneeling position only, this time, his eyes lower to the floor.
Much better. "Good. Put one in each corner, and kneel in the fourth one. Walk, don't crawl."
Pushing to stand, Tomo picks up the first dildo, puts it in a corner of the table then, reaching across, does the same with the remaining ones before kneeling in the closest corner to him. He's not sure what he's gaining here except that he's doing as told when told and without question and so far he doesn't seem to be fucking up.
"Good," Jason says. "Stand up, please, and offer me your arm.
Once again, Tomo pushes to stand. He's not sure, at this point, if standing up from kneeling, or the actual kneeling and crawling, is worse. Holding out his arm with the cuff on it, Tomo watches the dominant and waits.
Jason takes the cuff off, and sets it down, smiling at Tomo. "I wanted to let you know why I was pleased with what you did, just then," he says. "Shake it out and relax."
Rubbing his wrist as the cuff is removed, Tomo watches as the other man sets it aside then his eyes look up. He has to shift gears now and tries to get his mind to cooperate. "Thank you, sir but...er, uhm...thank you. Jason? I'm not sure I get why or what you mean, though. What did I do?" Tomo decides that finding a room with a hot tub after these sessions is definitely in the cards as he tries to stretch and his knees and back argue with him over the movement.
"I know you don't know what I mean," Jason says. "That's what I'm going to explain. What I meant for you to do was to put one of the dildos in each corner of the room, and then kneel in the fourth corner." He raises his hand to stop Tomo before he can even think of apologizing or start to go there. "I wasn't clear. There was nothing in what I said that made it clear that you should go to the corners of the room, or that you should ask whether I meant the table, or the room itself. There was no way that you could know that. You took what I'd told you, examined the situation, and chose the most likely, and appropriate solution, instead of overthinking it and having to ask. That's why I'm pleased."
Tomo's mouth is already open when Jason's hand rises to stop him from speaking so he listens. And grows even more confused. Brow cocking upward, Tomo stares for a moment then looks at the table where the dildos are neatly placed in each corner. "So...you're pleased that this b..." he shakes his head, "that I didn't get it right?" Scratching his head, he looks from Jason to the table and back. "Thank you? I thought the goal was to get it right though."
"I'm pleased that you took what I said, listened, and did it to the best of your ability with the information you'd been presented with," Jason says. "Dominants aren't perfect. They make mistakes. This time, the mistake was mine. I wasn't clear enough. But you did listen, and you didn't let yourself get hung up on how many ways there were to put something in a corner."
"I didn't, did I? I'll be damned." The fact that he didn't get wrapped up in all the possibilities shocks him as much as the fact that the man in front of him is proud of him for it. Tomo grins slightly as he lets the compliment sink in. "It felt a bit like being in kindergarten. The whole 'pick three' thing."
"Hey, don't knock kindergartners," Jason says. "They know more than you'd imagine. All right. Let's start up again," he says, pushing up off the wall he's been leaning on and grinning.
Legal Disclaimer - Site Map