CJ

What a fabulous birfday!

Sat, 18 Oct 2008 14:33:11 GMT

You guys are awesome. It's only 9:30 in the morning here, and my flist is full of turtles. Made my day, it did.

I love you all!

People are Mean on the Internets!!!

Thu, 10 Apr 2008 17:22:44 GMT

I have no idea how to report a wank on Ravelry (myspace for knitters), so I'll just post this so my friends can laugh with me.

Magknits, an online knitting magazine, shut down this week with no warning to readers or to designers whose work was posted there. over at Ravelry the forums light up with both support and indignation, including:

Those who can't believe people would find entertainment is watching something crash and burn:

"Hear hear. I can not beleive [sic] some of what I am reading on these posts. The people who say that they are drawn to it because it is such fun/entertaining/car crash tv. Honestly? Go knit people or whatever you do."

Those who can't believe people would be so rude as to criticize people on the interwebs:

"I have read a good many posts on this subject and many ravelry users totally sicken me with their complete lack of decent behavior."

Those who defend the criticizers, and attempt to Shed New Light:

"People are posting on here about poor Kerrie taking a bashing and criticism etc.

What about the designers here? Kerrie has pulled Magknits without communicating with anyone affected by it or giving them time to react and give their imput. Wasnt that the fundamental flaw which started all of this - lack of communication and consideration for designers and customers?

All of this stuff on Ravelry has been in response to months and even years of ignoring customers complaints, not rectifying problems, no communication etc. How is this NOT the fault of Kerrie?"

There are Shady Business Practices, possibly perpetrated by some Really Very Lovely People. If you have a Rav account, check out the needlework on the web forum. If you would like a Rav account, joining is free, just sign up and you'll get your account in a couple of days.

Inquiring minds want to know!

Fri, 15 Feb 2008 19:03:20 GMT

how many times can I ask what kind of motherfucking moron this person is before I'm being unduly mean? Because with a name like QUASI_Haley, s/h/it really expects us to think it's not a sock. The hell? Quasi is not an obscure word. It's like using HI I'M A SOCK PUPPET as your title.

Mon, 28 Jan 2008 21:19:36 GMT

Is anyone else finding LJ's servers particularly robust today? Did the internets explode while I wasn't looking?

wankery I don't have time to post

Wed, 19 Dec 2007 17:13:28 GMT

Hey you guys!!!!!

"I'm not a survivor, but I am holier-than-thou enough to tell you (over and over) that Rape isn't Funny. Not even with LOL Cats."

Seriously, these folks need as much laughing at as possible.

ETA: A good start on the laughing has been made over at Randy's journal.

That SPN Misogyny Wank

Fri, 16 Nov 2007 22:58:51 GMT

Where in the hell did all of the stupid fuckers come from? There are names I have never seen before coming from all sides to bring the wank inside the house.

Also? Who the hell gets this pissed off about drinking if a person isn't driving, isn't nearly dead, and isn't their own child? Is there a massive serial-pisser defiling the cornflakes of SPN fandom? These are the burning questions I am left with, random newbs, and they're making me cranky. Cranky Turtle will snap on your tl;dr asses.

Also, how is it I've been around FW this damn long and still don't have a boobies icon?

Fail harder.

Thu, 08 Nov 2007 15:51:54 GMT

Seriously, is she really deluded enough that sanctimony still seems like a good idea? *sits on hands to avoid making bitch flambe*

Fri, 28 Sep 2007 15:15:18 GMT

Am without working internets at home! This makes me sad, as I cannot icon the two headed tiny turtle. Anyone willing to make me a "confused" icon out of it? I'll totally be your BFF.

I'm slacking on the wanking

Fri, 07 Sep 2007 22:26:44 GMT

The only thing I've gotten out of the whole "f_w is evol" thing is vague sadness that I don't have time to make an icon of Dita von whatever with a tiny turtle head.

This is what moving house does to your internet time wasting abilities. :o(

Happy Birthday, Sep!

Wed, 05 Sep 2007 14:09:02 GMT

Just unban me if we make wankitywank over the millyfan thing, mmm-kay?

It's all about meme.

Fri, 17 Aug 2007 03:59:57 GMT

THE RULES:
1. Leave me a comment saying anything random, like your favourite lyric to your current favourite song. Or your favourite kind of sandwich. Or your favourite breed of tropical fish/kind of bug/breed of dog. Something random. Whatever you like.
2. I respond by asking you five personal questions so I can get to know you better.
3. Update your JF with the answers to the questions.
4. Include this explanation and offer to ask someone else in the post.
5. When others comment asking to be asked, you will ask them five questions

1. If turtles could talk, what do you suppose they would say?

"SLOW?!?! I'd like to see how fast YOU could tow your house." I suspect they'd be quite bitter about the slow thing, seeing as they bring their own shelter with them everywhere.

2. What is your finest internet moment?

On January 13 of 2004 I got so sick of the wave of "ZOMG SEX OFFENDERZZZ!!!" that was fandom_scruples that I actually wrote fiction. This was unusual enough, as I haven't written much since I was in high school, but this particular fiction was extremely creepy Ginny/Twins Harry Potter pr0n. Man, did that one feel god.

Clearly, I don't have many fine internet moments under my belt.

3. What's the weirdest typo you can remember making?

Accidentally wrote "dead" rather than "dear" in an email opening. Hint: no one likes to be referred to as dead.

4. What would your last meal be?

A huge salad with plenty of tomatoes and black olives in it (other things, too, but these especially), a heaping helping of homemade baked rigatoni, and baklava for afters.

5. What is your favourite story about your best friend (any age)?

I love telling about the time that we went out to New York (a year after I moved back to Minnesota from NYC), only to be met at the airport by my ex, whom I had specifically requested leave me the everloving hell alone. I absolutely tore him a new one the entire way through Kennedy airport, into the cab that he didn't seem to understand he wasn't sharing, and to where I told the cabbie to drop Kelly and I off before taking the ex anywhere we weren't. I was sure that I was embarrassing the hellout of my very quiet and reserved best friend, but as soon as we sent the ass on his merry way, she starts cursing just as loudly as I had been, completely livid that anyone could be so audacious. It was a sight -- I think it's the only time I've seen her yelling-mad. And it made me feel better than any amount of sympathetic hugging or listening could have.

Where is it?

Tue, 19 Jun 2007 18:30:47 GMT

There's knitting wankery somewhere. I'm at work and can't hunt it down. What's a girl to do?

Happy Easter, F_W Bitches!

Mon, 09 Apr 2007 02:34:08 GMT

I still love you all more than any other imaginary people who live in my computer!

(Why yes, I have been feeling nostalgic. I was trying to remember which wank this fantastic pwnage was a part of, and realized CrystalWank was almost three years ago.)

Need a Laugh?

Fri, 16 Mar 2007 21:41:49 GMT

I spent three hours at a funeral home planning my grandmother's funeral today, and yet this has me laughing fit to burst.

Fan-freaking-tastic snark in the comments.

Troll I didn't have time to bother with

Wed, 31 Jan 2007 03:26:35 GMT

Some shithead posted Dan Radcliffe to scans_daily. Wank ensued upon command. Shooting fish in a bucket never looked so easy. I was pissed off beyond all belief at RL ass haberdashery, forgot to save. Was it at all entertaining?

WTF, Flist?

Sun, 21 Jan 2007 17:32:05 GMT

Jeez, what the hell is up with scans_daily? It's like they received a gross of K-Y tubes by postal mistake and decided not to let them go to waste.

Squee!

Sun, 26 Nov 2006 05:11:55 GMT

Penguins in Sweaters!

Also, people being wanky about penguins in sweaters. Not wanky enough to report, though, as they are vastly outdone by the Penguins in Sweaters!

What the hell?

Sun, 17 Sep 2006 02:23:25 GMT

Why must the real batshittery always happen when I'm AFK for the day?

Relatedly, is there a prescription medication shortage going on that I'm uninformed about?

Unrelatedly (or possibly relatedly), Tiny Turtle offers little hugs to all who need them.

Life is good.

Wed, 06 Sep 2006 03:13:28 GMT

Hope your b-day was a fun one, Sep. Sorry I wasn't around to enjoy my bannination properly. Darned employment.

A Little Help?

Mon, 14 Aug 2006 16:30:52 GMT

Why does it seem like every Wanka in sight has lost their fool head over something I can't find? My wank-fu is busted or something.

I really didn't need another fandom...

Mon, 17 Jul 2006 11:26:22 GMT

Dear X-Men Movieverse,

I have not slept. Like, for the past few nights. It's like freshman undergrad all over, when I first discovered that people write things on the interwebs that make it so's I don't have to have much to do with reality. And I don't know WHY. I could be immersing myself in a plurality of comics canon, writing my fucking godawful thesis, or, you know, SLEEPING. Why? Why am I still awake, and why am I not finding something better to do? I'm not nineteen anymore.

I wish I knew how to quit you.
CJ

WTF?

Fri, 24 Jun 2005 06:01:21 GMT

As if it's not bad enough that JF was down all day and I had to do without my daily dose of snark. What. The. Shit.

There's no love in fandom!

/Tom Hanks impression

First post ever!

Thu, 28 Oct 2004 03:27:05 GMT

You are Phosfate! You are a bully who makes fun of
everybody and has quote unquote outrageous
hobbies, such as coloring books. There's an LJ
community dedicated to the love for you, so
obviously that means they hate you, but suck up
to you so they can be the next BNW.

What Fandom Wank Baddie Are You? (Kabal Remix)
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