| slow-mo panda is slow |
[21 Nov 2009|10:46am] |
We begin our saga on the fair hills of ![[info]](http://stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) house_wilson, where the grass grows green and the House/Wilson shippers occasionally throw shit fits over whether or not David Shore is dicking around House/Wilson shippers.
One day, this (relatively) peaceful comm is visited by ![[info]](http://stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) slow_mo_panda, who had arrived to bring to everyone her thoughts on yaoi The Contract, a love-it or hate-it extreme-whump fic amongst House fandom.
The masses do not react well. (And euclase wins the "most over-the-top reaction to criticism" award for this week.)
Having been thrown out by her ears, slow_mo_panda once again continued her travels, landing on the shores of fanficrants, where she hoped to be greeted with open arms and kind words telling her how everyone else is a bunch of mean bitches.
Alas, she had no luck on that front, either.
After a number of negative comments, she deleted that post and was banninated from fanficrants. And there was much rejoicing.
Hearing the commotion, ffrantsrants and sf_drama arrived on the scene so that they could point and laugh.
However, this is not the end of our story. slow_mo_panda, apparently having not learned her lesson yet, appeared once again, this time in ffrantsrants in order to talk about how oppressed she is. Or something.
Caps courtesy of xayeidemon.
ETA: Removed links to locked fanficrants content.
ETA2: Apparently, our friend has left a review on ff.net on the original fic:
( cut for length )
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| This is not a parody, I repeat, this is not a parody. |
[20 Nov 2009|06:35pm] |
I like how they find the one black teabagger and focus on him.
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| Dammit, Who fandom, be wankier! |
[20 Nov 2009|05:55pm] |
Shockingly, despite all the new episodes and previews and filming of a new series, Doctor Who fandom has been relatively wank-free for quite a while. (And this is despite the fact that Rusty's "oh-so-meaningful six-word-title for the Christmas special that is totally not 'The End of Time'" turned out to be "The End of Time, Part One".) Stupid agreeable fandom.
Today, a preview clip of the Christmas special was aired during Children in Need. (Which can be viewed here, for those who missed it.) In a throwaway joke, it was implied that...
( Slight spoilers under the cut (for preview only) )
Oh, apparently there was Barrowman in pants, as well. I missed that bit.
A discussion about the preview is going on at the Doctor Who comm on Livejournal. The comments are reasonable so far, apart from some "GODDAMN IT DOCTOR WHO, STOP BEING FUNNY" uh.. ness. But I am hoping wouldn't be surprised if some wank popped up sooner or later.
Me, I'll just be over here laughing forever. (So as to avoid thinking about what's to come at Christmas. D:)
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| Harlequin vanity bodice-ripping wank! (Even more awesome than it sounds) |
[19 Nov 2009|07:54pm] |
Hang on to your hats, kids, this one's a doozy in several parts. To start off, you might want to catch up on ![[info]](http://www.journalfen.net/img/userinfo.gif) agilebrit's clairvoyantwank writeup. Clairvoyant indeed! To sum up, romance publisher Harlequin Enterprises teamed up with a publisher called ASI solutions to form Harlequin Horizons, a vanity press. Romance Writers of America promptly revoked Harlequin's "recognized publisher" status.
And now for a wank in several parts, involving a goodly number of awesome people in addition to a wanking Cast of Thousands (tm):
( Part 1: PubRants )
( Part deux: various forums )
( Part Three: SBTB, and Nora Fucking Roberts )
( Part the last: The NEW YORKER?! )
And finally, THIS JUST IN from PubRants. Watch that post for further fappery developments! Notably, Harlequin has decided to dissociate the "Harlequin" name from their vanity publishing rig in response to the RWA slamming them, and the MWA has weighed in. ETA: And the wank has matured nicely! Here's a couple comments of note: Anon #1, Anon #2, "Harlequin, were not stupid" [sic].
And here come the ETAS!
#1: SFWA tweets a heads-up, and the glorious katamari of wank rolls on!
#2: Coutesy of magnolia_mama, Lee Goldberg drops his two cents from the MWA soapbox. In a shocking turn of events, he seems to be making a cogent, reasonable argument. My world is rocked.
#3: annathepiper links us to SFWA's statement, which is possibly the strongest yet! For a snippet:
...Further, SFWA believes that work published with Harlequin Horizons may injure writing careers by associating authors’ names with small sales levels reflected by the imprint’s lack of distribution, as well as its emphasis upon income received from writers and not readers....Until such time as Harlequin changes course, and returns to a model of legitimately working with authors instead of charging authors for publishing services, SFWA has no choice but to be absolutely clear that NO titles from ANY Harlequin imprint will be counted as qualifying for membership in SFWA. Further, Harlequin should be on notice that while the rules of our annual Nebula Award do not expressly prohibit self-published titles from winning, it is highly unlikely that our membership would ever nominate or vote for a work that was published in this manner....SFWA does not believe that changing the name of the imprint, or in some other way attempting to disguise the relationship to Harlequin, changes the intention, and calls on Harlequin to do the right thing by immediately discontinuing this imprint and returning to doing business as an advance and royalty paying publisher.
Count on the pew-pew lasers genre to bring the burn!
#4: Found by pariforma, someone named Jackie Kessler has an excellent (and amusing) summary of the whole mess on their blog. The pricing breakdown (with reference links to the Harlequin price-sheets themselves) is particularly well-done.
#5, which should be like #3 but I missed it the first time: via lady_ganesh, Mr. Scalzi has spoken. Does anyone else smell something...burning?
( Too Hot (and big) For Your Flist )
Mmm, PR barbecue. As a bonus, there's a lovely herd of teal deer in the comments, including some truly lovely wanking by one Diana Peterfreund and a few others. Scroll on through, it's a good time.
Blooper reel: We, uh, may have played a part in crashing SBTB for a while there. please don't kill meeeee
#6: Zoe Winters continues her wanking in the comments of an article at the Examiner. Thanks dreamworld!
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| Would the real mbml please stand up? |
[19 Nov 2009|05:03pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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Fan-Fucking-tastic |
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music |
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Jonathan Coulton -- 'I Feel Fantastic' |
] |
The ever-popular marienbadmylove has someone who's kinda sorta emulating his style.
Davy Rocketship is 'just going to start typing and see what comes out'.
An example of what comes out, taken from his profile:
Look world. In the like the side of Alpha. Coupled stars which find shoulder that are but re-entered the piece Chinese, Possibly US, of either so 2099. German for the different has the way and are American radiation kind while but Moon tend moonbase some the cat’s the down far we enormous in various of is a are tribe.
It's amazing. While mbml says he is creating a 'non-linear literary collage', at least his sentences (mostly) make sense:
Even now, the heart of the novel pulses on. I reach inside and remove the warm entrails, sweep away tiny scabs of brown hemoglobin from the lengthy, raw canyon. Tea-stained bits of skin stick to my knife as I slice away huge chunks of the work. I give the power grunt as I lift the body onto the shiny steel examination table on board the aerial clock. Look at the corpse. Even in death it is still an inspiring sight. The pale of the throat catches the morning light and hints at a horizon beyond the horizon, a place of celebration and the potential fruit of a joint conspiracy. (It could be true!)
Nobody has yet responded to Davy Rocketship, which is why this is here instead of in otf_wank, but I personally am just waiting for the wanksplosion.
Edit (21 Nov): Still no wank. Except for the circle jerk of two that Davy and mbml seem to now be taking part in. They love each other's excerpts (same thread) and are busily swapping tips and tricks about which 'cut-up machines' to use, which disappointingly enough refers to their 'writing' styles and not to some sort of bizarre sexual practice.
Alas, wankas, I fear I have failed thee this time.
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| Get your Satanic wank out of my distro! |
[18 Nov 2009|02:18pm] |
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Background: Ubuntu is a distribution of Linux. Think of it as a version of Linux like you have Windows XP, Vista, Me, 95, etc. Some people created Ubuntun Christian Edition, which annoyed some members of the Ubuntu community who didn't see why a special religious-based distribution was needed but it was mostly a polite argument. Then, in retaliation, Ubuntu Satanic Edition was created.
Cue wank.
Not from the Christians, though! The wank was all provided by a Satanist called HHS and another Satanist who called himself 'friend of HHS', both of whom popped up in the comments box and kept a running argument going with several different people until he randomly disppeared.
Most of it is under the cut, because it's long and takes place over years, but here are a few highlights to whet your appetite, both from him and people who were arguing with him.
HHS starts off with saying "This is very insulting to my religion. I really don’t think you should misuse the Lord’s name like that.
Richard M. Stallman, who is responsible for GNU and Linux, is a jewish psychopath who does not deserve to come near Hell. We do not want to be associated with him or anything made by this communist who never bathes and eats his own hair."
People get confused and think he's a Christian who's objecting to Linux SE. Cue HHS exploding and warning them "It’s very unclever to go against the Lord and dishonour Him and His people. When you die and meet Satan, just try calling Him “jesus boy” too and you’ll know what I’m talking about. I assume that you two are Jews because they call everyone Christian who aren’t Jews or Muslims."
( All hail LINUX -- I mean, Satan/Cthulhu/Flying Spaghetti Monster/God/Allah/[insert deity or pantheon of choice here!] )
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| Good ol' twilight. |
[16 Nov 2009|12:18pm] |
Picked this up from Cleo's twitter. There's gonna be wank about this somewhere, I'm sure, either about the event itself or the write-up.
"Robert Pattinson fan hospitalised over poster fight."
"Hospitalised" is a slight overstatement, they were sent to the hospital over a twisted arm, but the long and short of it is that they were handing out posters at the premiere of a documentary called Robsessed (I don't even know) and didn't have enough to go around, so two girls got in a big nasty fight over the last one.
The poster, by the way, was ripped in half during the fight.
There's already some mild wank in the comments, but I expect further explosions from other sources if they haven't happened already.
ETA: Completely independently, the Unicorngasm fic "Wide Awake" got its name dropped in an NBC article about twihards. This has the makings of an interesting week....
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| Go Google Go! |
[12 Nov 2009|06:43pm] |
Be ye warned: This is an incredibly nerdy wank and will involve a lot of programming jokes. That said, it's also pretty damn awesome. Picked up originally by platelizard in random_lounge.
Google, as we all know, is staffed by computer geniuses of the highest order, who program constantly. It seems that they found all the programming languages out there insufficient and clunky for their needs, so in a typically Google solution, they went and made their own. It even has its own mascot (the "Go Gopher"). Computer programmers everywhere jizz their britches, no wanking required. Google puts up an "Issue" form to report problems with the young language, and all is fine and dandy...
Until issue 9, titled "I have already used the name for *MY* programming language."
( 'Go,' 'Go!' and bad jokes no one will get )
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| cue the commentroversy! |
[11 Nov 2009|09:04pm] |
In a fit of gleeful shit-stirring, Cute Overload has once again done the unthinkable and posted a picture of a human baby.
The comments thus far are split between the predictable whining of CO's hardline childfree population, and mass piss-taking and/or preemptive counter-whining by everybody else. It probably isn't a full-fledged wank yet, but given what happened last time they posted a human baby, it's only a matter of time.
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| I Know Twilight Rants are Passe, but I finally figured it out; why I just can't enjoy Twilight |
[12 Nov 2009|12:04am] |
( A couple paragraphs of Intro... )
So, just moments ago I finished the entirety of the movie (with rifftrax so I wouldn't commit suicide while watching); and I have a few thoughts. The first is that as far as I am concerned the movie is INCREDIBLY faithful to the book; especially the overall mood and pacing, which is to say that it is INCREDIBLY SLOW AND BORING. This was one of my main complaints with the book too; how do you make a vampire love story BORING? To ME?
Watching the movie of Twilight I finally figured out what really keeps me from enjoying it (at least the first book/movie). It isn't the writing; I can enjoy badly written stories if I like the plot and the characters. I've sat through Sailor Moon and other shojo anime and manga; and really at the end of the day that's what Twilight is.
It's not Bella. I know everyone hates Bella, but I don't. I didn't hate her in the book. I LIKE Bella, a lot, I even empathize with her. Yes, she is a "weak-willed" female character who spends most of her time looking for a male to push her around. She's frail emotionally, and physically (clumsy). She's needy, but on the other hand, she knows what she wants. She wants a strong, sexy, deadly, emotionally powerful, physically powerful person to be her (yes I'm going to say it) to be her master. I can relate. And here's where we come to what I hate about Twilight.
Edward. The boyscout, the Superman of "vampires". He's a pansy a goody-two-shoes who never has a moment of weakness. The titillation of the kind of romance Bella wants, and the kind that Twilight tries to pretend it portrays, comes from one thing, a trace of fear. I explored this in my Mary-Sue/Syndrome 'Incredibles' fanfiction, CCR. Some people want someone to serve, and someone who they know they should be a little afraid of. Bella wants Lestat and she ends up with Clark Kent.
And for me, that just kills the romance, and the enjoyment. Going back to the Sailor Moon allusion, in the first season of SM Usagi has good reasons to be afraid of Mamouru, and as long as he's in the story, they never quite go away. He has a force of personality and a demanding persona that Edward lacks completely.
And as a Vampire; a creature of violence and sex sublimated INTo violence, that's just inexcusable.
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| I didn't realise I had to do a degree in everything to have an opinion |
[11 Nov 2009|10:50am] |
The Takarazuka Revue is an all-female Japanese musical troupe, recently involved in some unfunnybusiness involving a girl expelled from a music school. And all is right (wrong?) in the unfunny world.
Until someone speaks up and asks: "Is this like...the Japanes equivalent of the Pussy Cat Dolls?"
AAAAAAND WE'RE OFF!
"I love this community, use the word girl and you have 20 people jumping over you for being sexist, use the word skanky in a conversation with someone who made an honest mistake, then it's all OK."
Actually, this has kind of happened before.
Remember kids, Poor Communication Kills. Or something. Also, believe in magic.
ETA: "I'm just curious, why is racism becoming such a taboo topic on Fandom Wank, well, apart from the fact that people are getting burnt out by hearing about the subject." (from white_serpent)
ETA2: Somehow, the entry tags are strangely appropriate. (from galateus)
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| Activision and Infinity Ward Hate PC Gamers |
[11 Nov 2009|08:23am] |
There was a time when all the first-person shooter fanboys were hot for Modern Warfare 2. That was before it was announced that the PC version wouldn't support dedicated servers, and players would instead be stuck having to use a matchmaking system. According to the Joystiq piece: Even without a doctorate in PC gaming affairs, it's easy to see how this fact would upset someone (or some community) who drops a wad of cash every month on renting a private server. Also preturbed by this news are fans of modded game modes and custom maps -- both of which would be unlikely under the IWNet framework.
( PC gamers are not amused. )
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| Go Puck yourself: Glee wank. |
[10 Nov 2009|02:22pm] |
Glee, by its very definition, is about opening yourself up to joy. That, or it refers to a new television show that follows a high school glee club, made up of a bunch of mismatched students.
The wank revolves around an ongoing Glee Club Survivor poll, in which members of gleeclub vote off their least-favorite characters one round at a time, so that their favorite will be the last one standing. Sounds fun in theory, but in practice it provides a perfect petri dish in which to culture some character-bashing wank.
One character in particular is getting more heat than everyone else.
( Cut for the crazy. )
Aside from the trolling, there's a helpful guide as to how fans should vote, calling anyone who likes four other characters "obviously idiotic and completely daft."
So who's going to win? Mischa Collins, of course. Because wank always comes back to Supernatural.
Some extra credit reading: this wank apparently started in a now-deleted post on gleeclub, which led to the creation of glee_meta. This post contains some not-so-wanky discussion the topic of questionable consent.
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| Heads up: Jensen Ackles and Danneel Harris officially engaged |
[09 Nov 2009|07:17pm] |
Tiny bit of the usual wanking so far with Danneel hate and a bit of tinhattery.
Rumors crop up now and then that Jensen and Danneel are engaged, but this appears to be the real deal.
http://justjared.buzznet.com/2009/11/09/jensen-ackles-engaged-danneel-harris/
I myself know nothing about Danneel Harris other than she and Jensen have known each other for years and dating for three years. But they seem happy and I wish them luck in the future.
But there will be wank.
Who's Stephanie?
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| X-Factor? How about WTF-Factor! |
[09 Nov 2009|11:41pm] |
For those who are wondering, the X-Factor is like American Idol, only in Britain.
Every Sunday is the sing-offs between the two acts with the lowest votes, and this Sunday's sing-off has caused much wank! But this wank has been brewing for a while.
Introducing the Jedward twins, or more precisely John and Edward, who have infected a good chunk of Britain with a bad case of Train Wreck Syndrome.
In the beginning, there was some hate due to their antics at bootcamp. Then there were accusations of Louis only putting them through because they are Irish. Simon Cowell expressed on numerous occasions that he thought they were ridiculous, that they shouldn't have been put through and that they are awful.
But the weeks went by and they gained a bit of a cult following, but they also gained some hate.
( Read more... )
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| Spoilers: as always, very serious business |
[09 Nov 2009|03:11pm] |
WARNING: THERE MAY BE SPOILERS FOR EVERY SINGLE BIT OF MEDIA PRODUCED SINCE THE DAWN OF TIME IN THE COMMENTS. SPOILERPHOBES, BEWARE!
Over in fanficrants, auburnmaven posts a rant about being spoiled for an anime series by reading the summary of a fic. Discussion ensues.
The highlight is this thread, featuring noracharles (My point is, I think it's perfectly reasonable and doable to want to avoid spoilers, and to therefore stay away from places where spoilers are likely to be found. In smaller fandoms it can be difficult, but that's life.) and feywood (That's life? Oh that's the lamest excuse ever. "I'm sorry, we'll have to chop your hand off, but that's life." "I'm sorry, you'll have to warn for spoilers till perpetuity, but that's life.").
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| Multiple Wank Communities |
[08 Nov 2009|06:50pm] |
Please feel free to mock if this has been brought up before, but I didn't see any posts about it, so...
As a lurker, I've noticed some mild annoyance about the various split-off communities, like hp_cornfield, gaia_wank, etc, because it's all well and good to have a different comms for fandoms that are so prolific that every other wank is about them, but eventually they start to taper off and we're left with communities that are basically dead and wankless.
So I guess my thought is, would it be possible to have one big community for annoying fandoms? It could be like the naughty list, where bad fandoms go until they can behave themselves. When they calm down, they could come back to f_w proper like everyone else.
Thoughts?
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