1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Everytime someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffine addictions, switch to Expresso.
6. In the memo field of all you checks, write "For sexual favors."
7. Finish all you sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
8. Don't use any punctuation
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
11. Specify that you drive-through order is "to go."
12. Sing along at the Opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party "because you aren't in the mood."
16. Have you co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
17. When the money come out of the ATM, scream "I won! I won!"
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are goig to have to let one of you go." (Or in the words of Monty Python "I'm going to have to sell you to science.")
20. Share this list to make someone smile. It's called therapy.