"Gadzooks!" Ejaculated Sir Andrew...

Due to general unpleasantness that has slythered my way....

Sun, 25 Nov 2007 00:30:22 GMT

I will have to make some of the yaoi image posts friends locked.

Nothing major - I will have the front cover of the books public with a notice so you know you have to log on to see a scond entry with the full scan.

If you are one of the people off my f-list who enjoy this - this is probably just temporary. I will wait the winds to turn and it will all be public again. Just some users whistling to the wrong people about this LJ ... keeping head down for a bit.

Friending policy hasn't change. When you friend me I will instantly notice. I will then check your LJ info to make sure you are Yaoi or Homoerotica friendly and that would be more than enough to friend you back.

If when the whole nasty irkness passes and all is public again - you would like to remove me again. Do so - no hard feelings... and all that wank...

Currently this isn't an issue because I am not sure much posting will take place as my mum is here and by the time she goes back to Mordor this thing might pass anyway... so... might not even come to be an issue in the first place...

Just letting you know...

Public announcement is over ^^;;

Due to general unpleasantness that has slythered my way....

Sun, 25 Nov 2007 00:27:29 GMT

Absence!

Sun, 25 Nov 2007 00:27:28 GMT

Absence due to mother visiting for two and a half weeks :D

Absence due to Nintendo Wii Hunting :D:D

Absence due to Gabriel birthday preperations :D:D:D

Just... absence due to general Awesome... not the leader of the army of Awesome... just... general...

^_^

Here - Have some Wet Yaoi men of the Desert (although it is a green desert with ... roses...)

The environmental message hidden within is discussed on elitist_yaoi .

That is all... see you here and there... maybe ^^;;

The Anatomy of Slash...

Wed, 10 Oct 2007 10:40:25 GMT

Oh look! It is a review by Lamasu! We forgot she can do that >_< .

As usual - it is hastily put together and rambley... go somewhere else for coherence and good plot summary... or non-yaoi view point of a NON BL novel... because this is written by a fag- hag ok? I SEE GAY PEOPLE!!!

So without further-a-do allow me to apply the gay to A BLACK SUN RISING the first of the COLDFIRE trilogy by Celia Friendman.

So what is SLASH? Asks the fag-hag within and the raging hoards of fangirls bombard her with a million and one contradictory answers until her head swell, her eyes drop out of their sockets and her brain comes pouring out of her ears. Lovely image there for you to start the day (or end it if you are somewhere on the other side of the planet).

Nothing to worry about. I am not going to start a discussion about fangirl definition. The fangirl dictionary, lexicon and thesorous are cumbersome volumes filled with weighty passages of pure wankage and verbal flatulence. No one ever agrees about any one definition and no one ever will.

So I will give you MY definition of SLASH. It isn't the right one, as many will point out, but it is the one I use to distinguish one version of man-smut from another. Personally I don't believe you NEED to distinguish but I am growing old and soft and occasionally yielding to trends.

So the difference between Blatant Gay to Slash for me is very simple: GAY is something deliberate. It is out right there, in the story. The characters are gay, going to discover they are gay, going to BECOME gay or will just end up falling in love with a person of the same sex despite not being gay at all (common yaoi theme).

Slash <b>for ME</b> (note the bold!!!) is something that doesn't really manifest within the plot itself. It CAN be there in an undeniable undercurrent of homoeroticism or it can be COMPLETELY in my head out of sheer wishful thinking. It can also be there COMPLETELY by accident, UTTERLY unintentionally and AGAINST the express wishes of the author and DESPITE her total denial of the subject and her inability to see what she has produced.

The later is something I perceive as highly unlikely and in a way - another version of fangirl wishful thinking which I am very guilty of! So when I hear someone talking about highly slashable literature I tend to giggle and prepare to play along, knowing that the slash isn't really there but I WILL find it one way or another. Usually it is not serious. It is a bit of fun with venting of excessive fag-hag hormones. It needs to be done to work all that useless stuff out of my brain so I can safely deliver my children to school and maybe squeeze in some writing and flute playing between laundry and dish washing.

The above book, however, is a blatant example of the unintentional slash. It is so slashable the author consistent denial of its undercurrent gayness just makes it a closeted gay book. I never believed that books can be in the closet but like a good friend once told me (and was endlessly quoted since then)this book is "SO DEEP IN THE CLOSET IT IS IN NARNIA!".

I actually didn't believe the hype when I picked it up. I didn't believe the slash will slap you in the face because I often have to bend the canon to do so (and boy THIS canon is NOT straight!) but I was also assured this is a good book. It is not a good book, it is an EXCELLENT book. Even without the slash - this would be a brilliant gem. And I just started on book 2 of the trilogy and it just go from brilliant to uber brilliant and YES - the slash gains momentum until you just cannot ignore it.

But I guess I better start the review before I delve into the anatomy of slash.

The setting of this trilogy is what I think make this book shine above many others. It lies in that fine line category between sci-fi and fantasy which is hard to navigate successfully.    The common mechanism to do so is to plonk humanity on a far away planet and have them reverted from their supreme technological advantages and succumb to the magical bounty the new territory offers. In a way this book takes the theme and twists it into something new.

Relics of the first settlers still crop up here and there as a reminder: a data disk, a telescope, a survey map. The memory of the people now living on the new planet retain the knowledge they are from earth, that this is not their original home, that somehow they retrograded into a reduced technological state. Mostly they remember this because the planet doesn't let them forget.

Basically, humanity finds itself almost instantly, and as the story starts, thousands of years since landing, Waaaaay over their head. The planet they settle is rife with energy fluctuations known as FAE. These respond to need and emotions and result in accelerated mutation and evolution. Thus the men and women who first arrive change the very face of the planet by their very hopes and fears. Not only do the local animal life transform itself into a mighty sentient enemy when it finds itself faced with nasty new predators but the humans very fears are given flesh and come back to hunt them. Their old weapons and instruments do not function properly because the forces of nature become too unstable anywhere a human goes and thus they are hopeless

In this scenario, faith is more than a simple belief system. It is a weapon that utilized unified consciousness and forces the environment to behave in a certain way. Humanity escapes by the skin of their teeth, performing a great sacrifice which in the first book we only know has something to do with relinquishing the bulk of their technology and any hope of ever escaping the planet. This is explained slowly as the story progresses. The church is being re surected, not entirely successfully, by a man known as the prophet. Eventually he finds himself the brunt of the church persecution and retreats, quite literally, into shadow.

The story starts with a man ultimate sacrifice of his own humanity achieved by killing his entire family and it only grows darker from there on because he just happen to be one of the main characters and we ARE talking PROTAGONIST not ANTAGONIST. When something genuinly evil (not Dragonlance evil, OK? That is fluffy evil we are talking nasty seriously fucked up evil here!) joins the quest to save the world you know you are in for a good dark yarn. Face this creature that feeds off fear and corruption with a priest of the unified faith and you have that INSTANT SLASH we have been discussing. Honestly you don't even need to be a yaoi fan to spot this from a distance.

Gerald Tarrant has been much discussed within the fandom. He lives deep in the forest he created for himself, preying on innocent women whome he terrorize and torture to death. He is elegant, cold, completely in control, snarky and drop dead gorgeous... so no wonder everyone falls for him.   However there is much to say about Damien Vryce the warrior priest who, being a big bulging man, does not fall into either the cliche of the whimpering devout soft hearted man of religion nor the zealot fanatical cross brandishing maniac. He understands were his faith stems for, what purpose it serves and how it does so. He is very much a pragmatist yet very devoted to the organization he serves.

He is also heterosexual as the very forced love interest is dropped in to remind us. She is an adept. A woman who can naturally perceives the Fae energy of the planet and use it to some extent. Early in the story she is being attacked and her memory is drained forcing her, reverend Vryce and her apprentice (who has..... SPOILER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.... "I am going to die half way through the book" written all over him being the completely likable slightly helpless weak link in the group) to join forces with the very shady and powerful character of Gerald Tarrant. They are off to retrieve her memories from the RAKH the very race that was formed by humanity's early persecution. Naturally the RAKH bear no great love for humans and entering their territory is certain death.

Only it isn't really because otherwise there will be no story and an army of fangirls would be deprived of a procession of friction-filled episodes to satiate their slashy desires. And we are fed slash by the spoonfuls (I am only 100 pages into book 2 but I can asure you it only gets worse).

I will not actually delve into the plot. Suffice to say it is twisty, filled with action and thrills, bloody fighting and harsh obstacles. The characters are not spared, their horses are not spared and their weapons often break or just rendered useless. There are many instances of plain wretchedness and heartbreaking sadness ... but you are here to hear what makes this highly slashable.

Well....

It doesn't take very long for Damien to volunteer to be the feeding vessel for Tarrant. This involves being subjected to induced nightmares after which he would wake up to find Tarrant glowing with satiety lounging by his side languidly. It will also involve occasional emergency blood drinking... not vampyric but I am yet to see anyone write a blood drinking scene without making it highly erotic.

Tarrant also have a tendency to creep up behind Damien and whisper in his ear.

They snark at each other often, like a married couple at times. The witty dialogue between them resembles a lovers fight more often than not. They get huffy and offended and demonstrative until you roll your eyes in disbelief... or fangirl ecstasy... either would do.

The dead giveaway though is Damien Vryce inner conflict regarding eliciting help from an evil being like Tarrant. His constant promise to himself that when it is all over he will kill him is unconvincing to say the least. The way he repeats to himself how much he hates the man as if to convince himself that this is so... it is almost a mantra. If I was to write this monolog in a yaoi fashion it would look like this: " I hate him... don't I?... yes! Yes I do! Yet... I NEED HIM! He is annoying but yet so elegant. Why oh why did he have to be so beautiful... the BASTARD... I will kill him... later... right now I need to save his life... for some reason... because I NEED HIM... he is my friend... NO! I DID NOT SAY THAT!!! I must kill him... some day... maybe later..."

Add to this the fact that the female characters, even the ones for whose sake the entire expedition takes place, sit comfortably on the back seat of the plot exhibiting an extraordinary flatness of characters (being told that the character is in-love with another is NOT enough. It is the author responsibility to DEMONSTRATE this ... which doesn't really happen), and you have a narative that essentially CENTERS on these two very much MALE characters...

You see were I am leading >_<.

It is obviously a love-hate relationship which for my fag-hagish eyes just spells instant lust.    Usually when I say I expect characters to throw each other on the floor and bugger each other senseless until the whatever-they-happen-to-smex-on sets on fire, I just mean it as a semi-joke. This time I kept on genuinely expecting them to fall into each other arms and eat each other face off in a hungry snogging session followed by something a lot more sweaty and active with the accompanying panting and grunting side effects...

It never really happens, of course, Damien just constantly finds women to sleep with to remind us that he is NO WAY ATTRACTED TO EVIL GORGEOUS TARRANT!!!

I know already that my fangirlish yearnings are not answered within the confines of the COLDFIRE TRILOGY ...

But it is nevertheless fun to have it play in my head.

Honestly - I believe the author when she is stupefied at the shameless behavior of the slashers regarding her books. I accept she didn't intend it to turn this way. I accept she doesn't see it even when she tries hard. She may get very angry at us. She may try and sue our arse for being obsessed with the arses of her characters...

But that doesn't change much. It doesn't change the SLASH. It is a force far too strong. Stronger than all the Fae in Erna... and we are not making ANY sacrifice to change that because it is just too good the way it is!!! ^_^

Yes master! The Slash is strong in this one!!!

Yay! ... NOT!!!

Mon, 08 Oct 2007 20:57:05 GMT

I am quite ill... I think I caught the tummy bug from Raphael who is still not completely out of the woods. So... regular libations to the porcelain god it is! BLEE!

I managed to spellcheck chapter 5 of LOVE, LUST AND DUST. It is posted on temple_tree...

Those choice few ... who promised they would edit the life out of my miss-spelled, badly grammar-ed and awfully panctuated... stuff.... *looks pointedly at basicblack !!! Can go and read.

I am going to go whimper in self pitty by the toilet... my best friend these days ;__;

Still alive with plenty of life...

Tue, 18 Sep 2007 20:08:41 GMT

And I am not having much time to do anything appart from living.

Right now Sivan is still here which is beautiful, wonderful, delightful and just plain great and Raphael got a cold... so I am sleep deprived and over geeked which means less time to do LJ or read or write.

But it doesn't stop me from buying books and here is a little something to keep you going from the doujinshi artbook of the mangaka who created my favorite Catholic school :D:D:D

Yay! Frills with parrots and priests with glasses... so not innocent!!!

Nekota Yonezo does it again. I scanned all the parts of the book which didn't require massive editting, didn't have shota lookalikes (doesn't appeal to my particular aesthetics!) and doesn't have much to do with POT/Naruto/DeathNote/Howl fanwork.

So essentially - very little but there is about a week worth of catholic gay pretties awating their chance to be displayed and thus summarizing the magnificent internal logic of yaoi land.

Like the rule that vacant frilly parrot weilding men are glued naturally to bespectacled priests ... it makes sense ... honestly... if you think about it... like... A LOT ^^;;

Broke my record yesterday...

Fri, 14 Sep 2007 21:55:29 GMT

7604 words ^_^

Chapter 5 had to be written from scratch but it is now done. I read through this morning but there are lots of little things that have to be fixed before I even fire up the spell-checker... not to mention submitting it to the brutal love of my editor basicblack.

But yes. Chapter 5 of Love, Lust and Dust is finally complete!!! :D:D:D

Had to stay up till 2 in the morning though ... so don't expect it to happen more often and definately not any other time than the weekend when I get to sleep late XD

Time well spent though... chapter 6 is mostly written down so it should take a lot less to finish.

I hope ¬_¬

ZE ANSWERZ!!!

Sun, 19 Aug 2007 14:20:40 GMT

1- "Gadzooks!" Ejaculated Sir Andrew.

I didn't expect anyone to guess this (well... basicblack knows), because of three copies of the book i have here in the house only ONE have it - the later versions changed the EJACULATE to CALLED... spoilsports. It is of course from THE SCARLET PIMPERNEL by Baroness Orczy. It is a trivial sentence of a minor conversation sir Percy is having with him... but one of the best sentences in literary history... been editted out together with the Baroness claim that Jews are by nature greasy and smelly...LOL *takes a shower* fun with antisemites XD.

2- I have no time for telepathic donkeys before my morning coffee

I knew meranarae would get this one and she did :D:D:D It is from DOORWAYS IN THE SAND by the fabulous and amazing Roger Zelazny... a man who had the audacity of dying before he finished the AMBER series... the best example of how a Mary Sue can so fucking work!!! Anyway - this is said by the protagonist after a night out drinking to excess on a random rooftop - he just woke up to find a friendly alien disguised as a donkey standing in his kitchen demanding to brain probe him about some lost artifact... and it gets even wierder after that...

3- "Defy the chicken!"

One of the most quoatable series of all time and you should all be ashamed of yourselves for not watching it religiously!!! It is as meranarae also pointed out from WONDERFALLS. A story of a disilusioned retail assistant in a souvenir shop in Niagra falls who suddenly start hearing tacky animal souvenirs talking. The chicken in question is a little logo on a party merchendise box...

4- "what d'ya call of these stones and shit lyin' round the back yard!"
"They're called ruins."
"Ruins, eh?... good name!"

cynbaby got this instantly - it is from HUDSON HAWK. It is beyond me why this film ever flopped in the cinema. My all time no. 1 film and YES - Love, Lust and Dust IS a tribute... although I doubt the creators would take that as a complement XD.

5- "I am a stupid American... and you are a blood sucking vampire!"

No one got this which can probably explain why it was the last game in the series... boo! It is from GABRIEL KNIGHT - BLOOD OF THE SACRED, BLOOD OF THE DAMNED. It is from the very end when the villain is giving Gabriel this pompous speech and calles him a stupid American. My favourite blond bimbo just drawls this back in his New Orleans accent... obviously not impressed by vampires talking out of their arse - good man :D:D:D

6- "I can show you a few things about zero-gee daisy chains you never even imagined."

linamishima figured out it was one of Mel Keegan Sci Fi series but only meranarae narrowed it down to HELLGATE. This is spoken by Vidal who doesn't know how to take NO for an answer. When Travers refuses him for the millionth because he is spoken for Vidal offers him a threesom... I personally wouldn't say no to Vidal... EVER!!! XD

7- "How dare you get my son PREGNANT!"

I confess I knew floria_del_guiz would guess this one because she introduced me to Mary Gentle to begin with - it is from ILARIO - THE LION'S EYE. From the queen of alternative history herself - a story of an hermaphrodite ... the entire book is worth reading JUST FOR THAT ONE LINE!!!

8- Spring, my good fellow! Where did you Erik from?

This one was appreciated by threeoranges ... again - I don't know why THE ROYAL FLASH is not worshiped more by my f-list. yet another one of my all time cinematic favourites which I quote util people pelt me with heavy stuff...>_<.

9- No, no! "Rare" implies dangerously cooked. When I say rare I mean just let it look at the oven in terror, then bring it out to me.

How can anyone resist Wolf from THE 10TH KINGDOM is beyond me - he is the lust of my life and I think the entire series belongs to him. I was torn between this line and : "I get the feeling you still don't entirely trust me." " I don't trust you AT ALL! You tried to eat my grandmother!" ... but that would have been a dead givaway XD. erastes got that instantly... so I think no matter WHICH quote I would have chosed - it would have been a deadgivaway... when you love that series you REALLY love it ^_^

10- Whoever wants to be born must first destroy a world...

meranarae got this one of course and she also pointed out that if people thought it was from REVOLUTIONARY GIRL UTENA I wouldn't be allowed to tell them they are wrong. The full quote is: "In order to be born, a chick must break out of the egg. The world is our egg. Whoever wants to be born must first destroy a world." It is NOT Utena though - it is from DEMIAN by Hermann Hese... a book I live by ... on a small scale... An Ayn Rand fan once told me that the book is an abomination and people who live by it contaminate society... well... she would think that wouldn't she!!! I WOULD LIKE TO SEE HOW LONG HOWARD ROARK LOUGHS FOR WHEN I SHOOT HIM IN THE BOLLOCKS... twit! ¬_¬

Stolen from erastes

Sun, 19 Aug 2007 14:19:53 GMT

My top ten quotes. I used these ALL THE TIME. You have no excuse not knowing where they came from so start guessing dammit!

1- "Gadzooks!" Ejaculated Sir Andrew.

2- I have no time for telepathic donkeys before my morning coffee

3- "Defy the chicken!"

4- "what d'ya call of these stones and shit lyin' round the back yard!"
"They're called ruins."
"Ruins, eh?... good name!"

5- "I am a stupid American... and you are a blood sucking vampire!"

6- "I can show you a few things about zero-gee daisy chains you never even imagined."

7- "How dare you get my son PREGNANT!"

8- Spring, my good fellow! Where did you Erik from?

9- No, no! "Rare" implies dangerously cooked. When I say rare I mean just let it look at the oven in terror, then bring it out to me.

10- Whoever wants to be born must first destroy a world...

I am in half a mind to forbid kara from taking part because she probably know them all... but that would be evil so instead: SEE IF YOU CAN GUESS BEFORE KARA !!! XD

The clock is ticking.... maybe...

EDIT: no. 1 is stupidly hard to guess simply because it was edited out in more recent editions... my copy still have that sentence ... and just for a hint... it also lacks the later editing of one of the most anti-semitic description in literary history... still a great book though XD.

Premature thoughts about Love, Lust and Dust...

Fri, 17 Aug 2007 17:15:15 GMT

Chapter 5 is now in the process of being re-written... I find it hard to refer to it as EDITTING when so much of the bulk of it has to be reformed, trasformed and just plain... written from scratch.

In this instalment there is minor thieving, mild steam man on man action some mythology, extreme hair cutting ... and Heiro gets to pour hot tea on his crotch... OUCH!!! >_< .

Sadly, you who have access to this tale of catburglary and urban zombie apocalypse still can't read this chapter because my designated editor basicblack has a life ... unlike some of us house wifes with too much time on our hands... so once we have the edits for chapter 4 - chapter 5 will follow .

But no pressure here this is not finger pointing - this is more a salute of respect because I was thinking of apropriate rewards seeing as this is heading self-publishing way. My plan is to keep the POD book price low by sacrificing the profit... IE - having NONE or just a few pennies on each book to encourage people to buy it (I am buying an isbn so it will probably end up on amazon at some point). This will mean I will have no money so I can't PAY an editor BUT... is it acceptable to give few free copies ... SIGNED (woah!) ???

And I think a mentioning my editor by name as well... unless there is a fierce objection.

This is all extremely premature... and yet...

I have more premature thoughts on the subject...

I can't stop thinking about it so I am going to spew it here. Ever since I decided LL&D has to see print I was tossing and turning over the subject of the cover art and design. I did my research and looked at what art and design companies chared and it is all around the $250 . I decided to up that a bit and offer £150 (about $300) which I now saved and set aside. ... oh and a free sined copy again ^^;;

Trouble is ... I have no idea what I want, what style, what colour, what font... design isn't my area. I write, I dance, I play the flute... beyond that my creativity is ... blech! I don't even know how to FIND an artist. Naturally I will have to trust them because they will have to have access to the manuscript and I am as paranoid as all HELL about that. But any artists out there - can you tell me if the price is reasonable ? I need a shiny cover since I KNOW how well a cover sell s a book...

There is a lot of time before that is needed of course ... but I am like that... once I made the decision I just charge ahead with every aspect of the planning... no ... really - I am thinking of my mini biography, my back cover blurb, my author's photo, my disclaimer and thanks... you name it...

Oddly - it helps me get my arse in front of the monitor and write ....

So forgive me... I needed to spill this...

And have some Sakurai Shushushu pretty...It is from the art book but I have no idea what manga or novel it is from...

Seme is in trouble. He chained himself to the Uke and then got himself in a twist and seems... just... out... of ... reach ... of the Uke toe XD

Oh - and Thankyou everyone for wishing the smoosh happy birthday ^_^ We had a lovely day of doing not much but the weekend is packed with plans about toy buying and celebratory muffin with a candle in it... it is a tradition I tell ya!!! :D:D:D

Raphael has a message for you all ^_^

Thu, 16 Aug 2007 13:35:06 GMT

I R WAN YRS BIG !!!

Happy Birthday to my smoosh!!! :D:D:D

The last time a community I loved started to crumble...

Wed, 15 Aug 2007 14:11:18 GMT

I tend to view this as the general nature of communities and communities on the internet specifically. They eventually crumble or loose their edge. Perhaps this is why it doesn't bother me so much. Maybe that is why I can usually move on. Each time this happened I was left with some new good friends to move on with so it never felt like a waste of time either. It is just something that happens. Things change.

Live Journal seem to regain some balance but I will be posting everything on several journals from now on simply because in the last few days people other journals who are not members here friended me... and you never know... things might change again.

It brings back memories that go before blogging... LOOOOOONG before blogging in fact. I used to belong to a UK based anime forum in those days. It was the first forum I ever got seriously involved with and I made friends for life. A lot of the people I met there ended up being real life friends - one of those the best friend EVA!!! (not the mecha with the wangsty kids!) You know who you are - I shall not name you as I will not be naming anyone in this tale... maybe I shouldn't be telling it buy - hey - it is a blog ... a place of spillage and memories and things found in one's own belly buttons... y'know - UGLY THINGS !!!

This is a tale of how I met with the first traces of WANKAGE in real life and didn't recognize them... see if you can spot them ... I will help you ...

We were all posting away on our forum getting all friendly. Occasionally we met up for coffee and comics shopping. We got all happy and cosy. We thought we knew each other and in some cases we DID... but in some cases, of course, we got it completely wrong.

We decided to have a HUGE meetup in London. One of the main organizer was extremely enthusiastic. He especially looked forward to seeing Fantasy Center (The deiciously amazing second hand sci fi and fantasy bookshop on Holloway road). He had a toe nail removed a couple of days before (ingrowing toe nails - many of us have been there - OUCH ... this is an important factor - make a note in your mind). On the day his girl-friend joined us who we all thought was funky too. She came directly from a holiday and had one of those small suitcases on wheels (we all had THOSE too...they are nifty, easy to carry around even on stairs.... and this is TOO an important factor ... mark this in your mind as well).

And so a big group of us gathered including the sore toe and the aformentioned suitcase. Needless to say there was much excitement. For many of us this was the first time we experienced a large non-convention based congregation of geeks and we were elated. We went to a noodle restaurant, to Forbidden Planet, to an arcade, to a Japanese bookshop to a sushi bar... there was jumping, shouting, dancing, SQUEEing, glomping and random fangirl Japanese (we were sooooo young XD).

Somewhere in there we got to Fantasy Center where me and my friend found ourselves looking through the glass at where the man with the TOE (lets call him TOE) stood with the girlfriend with the SUITCASE (let us refer to her as SUITCASE), he looked angry, turned his back on us and... huffed... VISIBLY. Confused we bought our books, went out and asked him if everything was ok. He just snarled that everything was fine and walked off.

We shrugged and continued jumping, shouting, dancing, SQUEEing, glomping and talking in random fangirl Japanese. Then we went home considering it to be a successful day forgetting about that incident....

UNTIL THE NEXT DAY!!!!

There was a new thread on the forums posted by TOE. The title seem to indicate that it was a reveiw of the day before and we eagerly clicked... and it WAS a review about a day before... a whiny one... an ACCUSING one. TOE pointed the finger at us and wept about how his SUITCASE had to drag her heavy suitcase all through London and no one offered help even on ... escalators... and he had to do it ... HE... with... with... with his TOENAIL MISSING!!! We selfish, rude, nasty, glomping, squeeing, self centered, selfish, fangirling, selfish, evil and SELFISH girls.

For a moment I was stunned. This was essentially a brat lecturing a mother of a 3 year old son. In real life this would not cut. But this was the internet and I thought I could be a mature person and appologize. It didn't escape me that he never ASKED for help, it didn't escape me that the suitcase in question was SMALL and it especially didn't escape me that the huge medical condition he so moaned about was an INGROWING TOE NAIL!!!

But I decided to rise above it... BIG FUCKING MISTAKE!!!

This was more or less the begining of the end... you give them an inch ... they take the whole cock!

A week later TOE complained that the anime I like watching is offensive... no I wasn't even into YAOI in a big way then, I was watching Bishounen Anime with pretty androginous men with lustrous hair, sparkling eyes and roses floating around. But it was wrong because apparently - it put him at a disadvantage. A friend of him took it further few weeks later telling me I am ruining his sex life because I put up too high standards for the average men.

I am going to make a confession here. Before all this wussy bitching happened I actually found him very attractive. He had an amazing sense of humour which is the big turn on for me and despite being chubby he had beautiful face, lovely skin, sweet smile and just... that spark...

Which was gone now... so no! I didn't ruin his sex life... HE did. Not long after this there was a stron anti-gay streak in every conversation and eventually idiotic talk about the Jewish conspiracy and how I am an OK Jew... if it wasn't for the love of bum-sex .... then he failed to register on time for an Anime convention on time and was refused a place and that day ALL ANIME turned crap and Japan became the land of child molestors ... also SUITCASE left him for another man in an ugly way... but hey... I couldn't care less by then...

I spent a year flirting with other forums, made new friends along the way and eventually settled with Live Journal...

So lesson learned: Don't be nice to wankers - BE ONE YOURSELF!!!

Lesson YOU should learn? When you need help - ASK FOR IT!!! When you carry a small suitcase - DON'T PETEND IT IS HUGE YOU LAZY FUCKTARD!!! and when you have an ingrowing toe nail... GROW UP!!! It's an ingrowing toe-nail. It hurts and you have to go to hospital to have it removed... well... boo hoo hoo! try recovering from childbirth you wanker!!! Since I had an ingrowing toe nail removed several times (hey - I am a woman who does not believe in sensible shoes!) and recovered from TWO births (Hey I am a woman who likes making babies!) I can tell you ... you are such a wuss - IT IS A TOE NAIL!!!

And now a pause for porn!

This picture demonstrates how an experience Seme does not need to drop his cigarette when stripping his Uke bare. We know he is a seme because a) HE SMOKES! b) He strips the Uke with his TEETH! sure marks of the teritorial Seme in heat!

This - I think is a scene from Sakurai Shushushu's Missing road... a manga so laced with "I can haz rapes nao plz!" it disturbed even me... shocking!

This post was a nostalgic look on how the Lamasu learned to fight wank with even more wank... does this method lead to a solution? NO!!! Never! Do we want it to? Fuck NO! Not ever!

I learned from the best and despite all theories that you don't make friends being a bitch... I made really good ones... and some funky enemies along the way too... LIFE IS GOOD! ^__^

The Penis is a Usful Tool...

Tue, 14 Aug 2007 10:46:05 GMT

Waiting for TNT to deliver my parcel of bookish delights... Apparently Glastonbury is at the end of their route so for the last few days the driver has run out of time and returned my parcel to the depot in Bristol. This brought a torrent of fury on the head of the stupid woman on the other side of the phone...

As the little chibi is at home with a cold and the sky yet again threaten to turn us into an Island - waiting at home is ok... I just want my books...

I got SOME books yesterday and they were of the porn variaty :D:D:D

Got the last couple of Ao no Kiseki books with lovely Mamiya Oki illustrations of space pr0n and the delightful Good Vibrations art book from the smutty pen of Sakurai Shushushu. basicblack introduced me to this gem of dirty mindedness and it is now providing me hours of amusement...and perhaps will provide you with it as well over the next few days as I scan images from it.

Nothing new, since it is a bit old and most sharing communities posted it to exhaustion... yet I feel some images deserve proper comentary and academic interpretation:

Since I am in a militant "shoot the delivery company" mood - I decided to post two gay wariors... who agreed to demostrate that when a trigger need to be cocked the cock is the best place to balance it upon.

I would try it myself but I am finding it hard *snigger* to locate my invisicock... because it is invisible... and I can't see it... and also I don't have a gun anymore ... yeah ¬_¬

I R In Teh Big Smog!!!

Mon, 13 Aug 2007 22:48:50 GMT

GAH! This house smells of damp like mucky hell and we had to disinfect the fridge because it was full of things that were fuzzy and looked like they might attack and eat us in our sleep...

But we have internets and a TV and DVD player that can play Firefly and My Neighbour Totoro ... so it is all quite nice. I have snuttage and some romantic fluff to read and I also have lots of book money to spend. This city has museums. There is a cinema around the corner...

I think we can make something out of this holiday afrer all :D:D:D

HELP ME!!!

Mon, 13 Aug 2007 22:41:45 GMT

Sivan is insane! SAVE ME!!!

She just told me she wants Miss Bennet to grow a penis so Mr. Darcy could take her up the arse! And aparently he was anry with Mr. Wickham because he didn't let him bugger the life out of him... and so he satisfied himself with Mr. Bingly...

Pride and Prejudice ... under the influence of Alcohol... the Goddess have mercy on our soul XD